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| Request | Demand | |
| Attention | Attention is on the needs of others and myself | Attention is on strategies |
| Intention | To get everyones needs fulfilled | To get the others to do what I want |
| Appreciation | My appreciation for the other person does not change, if the other one says "No." | I do not appreciate the other person as much, if the other one says "No." |
| Trust | I trust, that my needs will be considered and satisfied. | I am scared, that my needs do not count. |
