Evaluative words

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This list of feelings and needs are suggestions only; it's neither complete nor definitive. It's just an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. When these words are used to try to express to someone your feelings/emotions they do convey a sense of the emotions/feelings at play, but they also imply that someone is doing something to you and generally carry a message of wrongness or blame. (One interesting feature is that many of these mixed feeling/blame end with ..ed.)

For example, if I say I feel abused you may hear this as you abused me. In contrast, words that express pure feelings can't readily be heard that way: It's hard to hear I feel lonely as You lonelied me.

To use this list: when somebody says I'm feeling rejected, a Giraffe might empathically translate this as: Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?

Evaluative Word Giraffe Feeling(s) Giraffe Need(s)
abandoned terrified, hurt, bewilderment, sad, fright, lonely Nurturing, connection, belonging, support, caring
abused angry, frustration, fright Caring, nurturing, support, emotional or physical wellbeing, consideration. Need for all living things to flourish.
unaccepted upset, fear, lonely inclusion, connection, community, belonging, contribution, peer respect, self-care
attacked fearful, angry safety
belittled angry, frustration, tense, distress respect, autonomy, to be seen, acknowledgment, appreciation
betrayed angry, hurt, disappointment, outrage trust, dependability, honesty, honor, commitment, clarity,
blamed angry, scared, confusion, antagonistic, hostile, bewildered, hurt Accountability, causality, fairness, justice
bullied angry, scared, pressured autonomy, choice, safety, consideration
caged/boxed in angry, thwarted, scared, anxious autonomy, choice, freedom
cheated Resentful, hurt, angry honesty, fairness, justice, trust, reliability
coerced angry, frustrated, frightened, thwarted, scared choice, autonomy, freedom, act freely, choose freely
cornered angry, scared, anxious, thwarted autonomy, freedom
criticized in pain, scared, anxious, frustrated, humiliated, angry, embarrassed understanding, acknowledgement, recognition, accountability, non-judgmental communication
discounted/ diminished hurt, angry, embarrassed, frustrated need to matter, acknowledgment, inclusions, recognition, respect
disliked sad, lonely, hurt connection, appreciation, understanding acknowledgment, friendship, inclusion
distrusted sad, frustrated trust, honesty,
dumped on angry, overwhelmed respect, consideration
harassed angry, frustrated, pressured, frightened respect, space, consideration, peace
hassled irritated, distressed, angry, frustrated, serenity, autonomy, do things at my own pace and in my own way, calm, space
ignored lonely, scared, hurt, sad, embarrassed connection, belonging, inclusion, community, participation
insulted angry, embarrassed respect, consideration, acknowledgment, recognition
interrupted angry, frustrated, resentful, hurt respect, to be heard, consideration
intimidated Scared, anxiety safety, equality, empowerment
invalidated angry, hurt, resentful, appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, recognition
invisible sad, angry, lonely, scared to be seen and heard, inclusion, belonging, community
isolated lonely, afraid, scared community, inclusion, belonging, contribution
left out sad, lonely, anxious inclusion, belonging, community, connection
let down sad, disappointed, frightened consistency, trust, dependability, consistency
manipulated angry, scared, powerless, thwarted, frustrated autonomy, empowerment, trust, equality, freedom, free choice, connection, genuineness
mistrusted sad, angry trust
misunderstood upset, angry, frustrated to be heard, understanding, clarity
neglected lonely, scared connection, inclusion, participation, community, care, mattering, consideration
overpowered angry, impotent, helpless, confused equality, justice, autonomy, freedom
overworked angry, tired, frustrated respect, consideration, rest, caring
patronized angry, frustrated, resentful recognition, equality, respect, mutuality
pressured anxious, resentful, overwhelmed Relaxation, clarity, space, consideration
provoked angry, frustrated, hostile, antagonistic, resentful respect, consideration,
put down angry, sad, embarrassed respect, acknowledgment, understanding
rejected hurt, scared, angry, defiant belonging, inclusion, closeness, to be seen, acknowledgment, connection
ripped off/ screwed Anger, resentment, disappointment consideration, justice, fairness, justice acknowledgement, trust
smothered/ suffocated Frustrated, fear, desperation, space, freedom, autonomy, authenticity. self expression
taken for granted sad, angry, hurt, disappointment appreciation, acknowledgment, recognition, consideration
Stalked frightened, helpless, scared, anxious space, empowerment, mutuality, safety, privacy, respect
threatened scared, frightened, alarmed, agitated, defiant Safety, autonomy
trampled angry, frustrated, overwhelmed empowerment, connection, community, being seen, consideration, equality, respect, acknowledgment
tricked embarrassed, angry, resentful integrity, trust, honesty
unappreciated sad, angry, hurt, frustrated appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, consideration
unheard sad, hostile, frustrated understanding, consideration, empathy
unloved sad, bewildered, frustrated love, appreciation, empathy, connection, community
unseen sad, anxious, frustrated acknowledgment, appreciation, be heard
unsupported sad, hurt, resentful support, understanding
unwanted sad, anxious, frustrated belonging, inclusion, caring
used sad, angry, resentful autonomy, equality, consideration, mutuality
victimized frightened, helpless empowerment, mutuality, safety, justice
violated sad, agitated, anxiety privacy, safety, trust, space, respect
wronged angry, hurt, resentful, irritated respect, justice, trust, safety, fairness

Positive Judgments

Words like these, linguistically are called nominalisations(the doctrine that the various objects labeled by the same term have nothing in common but their name, pertaining to a noun or to a word group that functions as a noun; "nominal phrase"; "noun phrase").

They are usually verbs/adverbs or action words which have been made into nouns.To love. To act wisely.To show respect.

But unlike real nouns such as chair , lettuce, shoes etc, you cannot touch them or see them

they stem from verbs/adverbs and are therefore actions , they also have meaning based on people's perception and experience. for example to be loving might mean give flowers to one person and to be loving to another might mean to give some one else space.

To give respect might mean to act on someones ideas and to give respect to someone else might mean see things from their point of view.

The many different interpretations of these types of words does, as you have observed, result in conflict, when defining the meaning and yet can also , paradoxically, bring harmony !...when clarity to the individuals' meaning is specifically defined.

Evaluative Word Giraffe Feeling(s) Giraffe Need(s)
Righted happy, joy, pleasure respect, trust, safety, fairness
Wanted happy, comfortable, calm belonging, inclusion, caring
    * feel free to add more