Mourning vs. Guilt or self-blame

"Step 3: The 'perpetrator' goes deep inside himself and articulates what he feels ... and his own needs that were not met by his actions.

In Nonviolent Communication, this is described as mourning, and is fundamentally different from any process that encourages the perpetrator to feel guilt or shame."

- From Restorative justice

"Mourning in NVC is the process of fully connecting with unmet needs and feelings which are generated when we have been less than perfect. It is an experience of regret, but regret that helps us learn from what we have done without blaming or hating ourselves." - Nonviolent Communication - A Language of Life, 2nd ed., p 133, Marshall B. Rosenberg

NVC Mourning: connecting with the feelings and unmet needs stimulated by past actions which we now regret - ibid, p 133

NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action which we now regret. - ibid, p 134

The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion. - ibid, p 129