Evaluative words

This list of feelings and needs are suggestions only; it's neither complete nor definitive. It's just an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. When these words are used to try to express to someone your feelings/emotions they do convey a sense of the emotions/feelings at play, but they also imply that someone is doing something to you and generally carry a message of wrongness or blame. (One interesting feature is that many of these mixed feeling/blame end with ..ed.)

For example, if I say I feel abused you may hear this as you abused me. In contrast, words that express pure feelings can't readily be heard that way: It's hard to hear I feel lonely as You lonelied me.

To use this list: when somebody says I'm feeling rejected, a Giraffe might empathically translate this as: Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?

Evaluative Word	Giraffe Feeling(s)	Giraffe Need(s)
abandoned	terrified, hurt, bewilderment, sad, fright, lonely	Nurturing, connection, belonging, support, caring
abused	angry, frustration, fright	Caring, nurturing, support, emotional or physical wellbeing, consideration. Need for all living things to flourish.
unaccepted	upset, fear, lonely	inclusion, connection, community, belonging, contribution, peer respect, self-care
attacked	fearful, angry	safety
belittled	angry, frustration, tense, distress	respect, autonomy, to be seen, acknowledgment, appreciation
betrayed	angry, hurt, disappointment, outrage	trust, dependability, honesty, honor, commitment, clarity,
blamed	angry, scared, confusion, antagonistic, hostile, bewildered, hurt	Accountability, causality, fairness, justice
bullied	angry, scared, pressured	autonomy, choice, safety, consideration
caged/boxed in	angry, thwarted, scared, anxious	autonomy, choice, freedom
cheated	Resentful, hurt, angry	honesty, fairness, justice, trust, reliability
coerced	angry, frustrated, frightened, thwarted, scared	choice, autonomy, freedom, act freely, choose freely
cornered	angry, scared, anxious, thwarted	autonomy, freedom
criticized	in pain, scared, anxious, frustrated, humiliated, angry, embarrassed	understanding, acknowledgement, recognition, accountability, non-judgmental communication
discounted/ diminished	hurt, angry, embarrassed, frustrated	need to matter, acknowledgment, inclusions, recognition, respect
disliked	sad, lonely, hurt	connection, appreciation, understanding acknowledgment, friendship, inclusion
distrusted	sad, frustrated	trust, honesty,
dumped on	angry, overwhelmed	respect, consideration
harassed	angry, frustrated, pressured, frightened	respect, space, consideration, peace
hassled	irritated, distressed, angry, frustrated,	serenity, autonomy, do things at my own pace and in my own way, calm, space
ignored	lonely, scared, hurt, sad, embarrassed	connection, belonging, inclusion, community, participation
insulted	angry, embarrassed	respect, consideration, acknowledgment, recognition
interrupted	angry, frustrated, resentful, hurt	respect, to be heard, consideration
intimidated	Scared, anxiety	safety, equality, empowerment
invalidated	angry, hurt, resentful,	appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, recognition
invisible	sad, angry, lonely, scared	to be seen and heard, inclusion, belonging, community
isolated	lonely, afraid, scared	community, inclusion, belonging, contribution
left out	sad, lonely, anxious	inclusion, belonging, community, connection
let down	sad, disappointed, frightened	consistency, trust, dependability, consistency
manipulated	angry, scared, powerless, thwarted, frustrated	autonomy, empowerment, trust, equality, freedom, free choice, connection, genuineness
mistrusted	sad, angry	trust
misunderstood	upset, angry, frustrated	to be heard, understanding, clarity
neglected	lonely, scared	connection, inclusion, participation, community, care, mattering, consideration
overpowered	angry, impotent, helpless, confused	equality, justice, autonomy, freedom
overworked	angry, tired, frustrated	respect, consideration, rest, caring
patronized	angry, frustrated, resentful	recognition, equality, respect, mutuality
pressured	anxious, resentful, overwhelmed	Relaxation, clarity, space, consideration
provoked	angry, frustrated, hostile, antagonistic, resentful	respect, consideration,
put down	angry, sad, embarrassed	respect, acknowledgment, understanding
rejected	hurt, scared, angry, defiant	belonging, inclusion, closeness, to be seen, acknowledgment, connection
ripped off/ screwed	Anger, resentment, disappointment	consideration, justice, fairness, justice acknowledgement, trust
smothered/ suffocated	Frustrated, fear, desperation,	space, freedom, autonomy, authenticity. self expression
taken for granted	sad, angry, hurt, disappointment	appreciation, acknowledgment, recognition, consideration
Stalked	frightened, helpless, scared, anxious	space, empowerment, mutuality, safety, privacy, respect
threatened	scared, frightened, alarmed, agitated, defiant	Safety, autonomy
trampled	angry, frustrated, overwhelmed	empowerment, connection, community, being seen, consideration, equality, respect, acknowledgment
tricked	embarrassed, angry, resentful	integrity, trust, honesty
unappreciated	sad, angry, hurt, frustrated	appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, consideration
unheard	sad, hostile, frustrated	understanding, consideration, empathy
unloved	sad, bewildered, frustrated	love, appreciation, empathy, connection, community
unseen	sad, anxious, frustrated	acknowledgment, appreciation, be heard
unsupported	sad, hurt, resentful	support, understanding
unwanted	sad, anxious, frustrated	belonging, inclusion, caring
used	sad, angry, resentful	autonomy, equality, consideration, mutuality
victimized	frightened, helpless	empowerment, mutuality, safety, justice
violated	sad, agitated, anxiety	privacy, safety, trust, space, respect
wronged	angry, hurt, resentful, irritated	respect, justice, trust, safety, fairness

Positive Judgments

Words like these, linguistically are called nominalisations(the doctrine that the various objects labeled by the same term have nothing in common but their name, pertaining to a noun or to a word group that functions as a noun; "nominal phrase"; "noun phrase").

They are usually verbs/adverbs or action words which have been made into nouns.To love. To act wisely.To show respect.

But unlike real nouns such as chair , lettuce, shoes etc, you cannot touch them or see them

they stem from verbs/adverbs and are therefore actions , they also have meaning based on people's perception and experience. for example to be loving might mean give flowers to one person and to be loving to another might mean to give some one else space.

To give respect might mean to act on someones ideas and to give respect to someone else might mean see things from their point of view.

The many different interpretations of these types of words does, as you have observed, result in conflict, when defining the meaning and yet can also , paradoxically, bring harmony !...when clarity to the individuals' meaning is specifically defined.

Evaluative Word	Giraffe Feeling(s)	Giraffe Need(s)
Righted	happy, joy, pleasure	respect, trust, safety, fairness
Wanted	happy, comfortable, calm	belonging, inclusion, caring

    * feel free to add more