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| | Susanne Jones and Tom Caruso had a discussion about Susanne's efforts to develop a research study on NVC at the Department of Communications at San Diego State University. | | Susanne Jones and Tom Caruso had a discussion about Susanne's efforts to develop a research study on NVC at the Department of Communications at San Diego State University. |
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| − | ==Contribution, John Wiley, 2001 Concepts List== | + | == Next NVC Research Circle Meeting == |
| − | In case it might be of interest, here's a handout I prepared for a non-credit NVC college class in 2001. At that time I was interested in discovering implicit assumptions within the NVC process, and this list was my first attempt to combine those with major explicit concepts. Some items make general reference to a body of work or subject area, but not specific citations. I haven't reviewed this since then and it probably contains lots of irrelevant stuff, so feel free to delete it if not useful.
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| − | ===Underlying Concepts of Compassionate Communication===
| + | '''[[NVC Research January '07 Meeting]]''' Friday, January 5, 2007, 3 PM EST (12 Noon PST) |
| − | :by John Wiley, 2001
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| − | A. All people are inherently compassionate, but most have been trained in ways that interfere with it.
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| − | : Carl Rogers, altruism, heroism, transformational mediation
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| − | B. All people share a small set of core fundamental Needs.
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| − | : Hierarchy of needs, interpersonal vs. intrapersonal priority of needs
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| − | C. Connection and self-actualization are fundamental human Needs, and both involve other people.
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| − | : Philosophical and spiritual factors
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| − | D. Needs come into conflict when they are unclear to either party.
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| − | : Any clarification of Needs is beneficial to the connection
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| − | E. We are all equal, as is the importance of our Needs.
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| − | : Humanitarian principles
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| − | F. We are each responsible for the origins of our own Feelings.
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| − | : Others can be no more than a stimulus for how we feel
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| − | G. We are each responsible for the expression and meeting of our own Needs.
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| − | : Projection or transferrence of responsibility damages individuals and relationships
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| − | H. Problems arise from ineffective (tragic) strategies for expressing and meeting Needs.
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| − | : Taking responsibility for meeting our own Needs is the first step in NVC
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| − | I. Communication is a process.
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| − | : Clarity arises from dialog focused on building connection
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| − | J. The NVC process shifts attention from our thinking, to what's alive in our hearts.
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| − | : Natural progression: Observations ð Feelings ð Needs ð Requests
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| − | K. NVC reframes our perceptions and behavior by placing focus on Feelings and Needs via questions.
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| − | : Active Listening or paraphrasing is not NVC, questions vs. assumptions
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| − | L. Judgment, guilt, duty, blame and shame all lead to disconnection and violence between people.
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| − | : Research on Shame/Rage spiral, benefits vs. costs of shame, high costs of coercion
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| − | M. Confusing our thoughts & strategies with Observations, Feelings and Needs leads to pain and conflict.
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| − | : Thinking who is what, deciding what people deserve, strategies based on inequality
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| − | N. Changing strongly reinforced learned behavior requires considerable motivation, time and practice.
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| − | : Alternative is conflict, violence and ultimately the end of civilization
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| − | O. "No" in response to an NVC Request is usually the most fruitful response.
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| − | : No means the other person isn't coerced and we/they aren't clear on Needs
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| − | P. Words are not required for communication, thus Intention is key to effective NVC.
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| − | : Nonverbal communication is pervasive & influential, Intention guides us & influences others
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| − | Q. All principles of NVC apply to interpersonal and intrapersonal communications.
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| − | : Practicing first on self leads to compassion for others
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| − | R. NVC Empathy is a process of clarifying Feelings and Needs via NVC dialog.
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| − | : Other forms of empathy may lead to conflict
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| − | S. Empathy is often required first for ourselves, before we have the capacity for giving it to others.
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| − | : Clarity on own Feelings & Needs enables "giving from the heart"
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| − | T. People progress from focus on rules and authority, to rebellion and on to interdependence.
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| − | : Harvey, submit or rebel vs. equality and abstraction
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| − | U. Language influences our perception and behavior.
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| − | : "I feel that..." or "I feel you..." are not Feelings, words that imply blame or judgment
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| − | V. Vulnerability and appreciation are important in building connections between people.
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| − | : Differences between praise and appreciation, importance of expressing our Feelings and Needs
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Susanne Jones and Tom Caruso had a discussion about Susanne's efforts to develop a research study on NVC at the Department of Communications at San Diego State University.
