Difference between revisions of "NVC Research December Meeting"
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<li>Talk about retention research.</li> | <li>Talk about retention research.</li> | ||
</ul> | </ul> | ||
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| + | ==Possible Contribution - 2001 Concepts List== | ||
| + | In case it might be of interest, here's a handout I prepared for a non-credit NVC college class in 2001. At that time I was interested in discovering implicit assumptions within the NVC process, and this list was my first attempt to combine those with major explicit concepts. Some items make general reference to a body of work or subject area, but not specific citations. I haven't reviewed this since then and it probably contains lots of irrelevant stuff, so feel free to delete it if not useful. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Underlying Concepts of Compassionate Communication=== | ||
| + | :by John Wiley, 2001 | ||
| + | |||
| + | A. All people are inherently compassionate, but most have been trained in ways that interfere with it. | ||
| + | : Carl Rogers, altruism, heroism, transformational mediation | ||
| + | |||
| + | B. All people share a small set of core fundamental Needs. | ||
| + | : Hierarchy of needs, interpersonal vs. intrapersonal priority of needs | ||
| + | |||
| + | C. Connection and self-actualization are fundamental human Needs, and both involve other people. | ||
| + | : Philosophical and spiritual factors | ||
| + | |||
| + | D. Needs come into conflict when they are unclear to either party. | ||
| + | : Any clarification of Needs is beneficial to the connection | ||
| + | |||
| + | E. We are all equal, as is the importance of our Needs. | ||
| + | : Humanitarian principles | ||
| + | |||
| + | F. We are each responsible for the origins of our own Feelings. | ||
| + | : Others can be no more than a stimulus for how we feel | ||
| + | |||
| + | G. We are each responsible for the expression and meeting of our own Needs. | ||
| + | : Projection or transferrence of responsibility damages individuals and relationships | ||
| + | |||
| + | H. Problems arise from ineffective (tragic) strategies for expressing and meeting Needs. | ||
| + | : Taking responsibility for meeting our own Needs is the first step in NVC | ||
| + | |||
| + | I. Communication is a process. | ||
| + | : Clarity arises from dialog focused on building connection | ||
| + | |||
| + | J. The NVC process shifts attention from our thinking, to what's alive in our hearts. | ||
| + | : Natural progression: Observations ð Feelings ð Needs ð Requests | ||
| + | |||
| + | K. NVC reframes our perceptions and behavior by placing focus on Feelings and Needs via questions. | ||
| + | : Active Listening or paraphrasing is not NVC, questions vs. assumptions | ||
| + | |||
| + | L. Judgment, guilt, duty, blame and shame all lead to disconnection and violence between people. | ||
| + | : Research on Shame/Rage spiral, benefits vs. costs of shame, high costs of coercion | ||
| + | |||
| + | M. Confusing our thoughts & strategies with Observations, Feelings and Needs leads to pain and conflict. | ||
| + | : Thinking who is what, deciding what people deserve, strategies based on inequality | ||
| + | |||
| + | N. Changing strongly reinforced learned behavior requires considerable motivation, time and practice. | ||
| + | : Alternative is conflict, violence and ultimately the end of civilization | ||
| + | |||
| + | O. "No" in response to an NVC Request is usually the most fruitful response. | ||
| + | : No means the other person isn't coerced and we/they aren't clear on Needs | ||
| + | |||
| + | P. Words are not required for communication, thus Intention is key to effective NVC. | ||
| + | : Nonverbal communication is pervasive & influential, Intention guides us & influences others | ||
| + | |||
| + | Q. All principles of NVC apply to interpersonal and intrapersonal communications. | ||
| + | : Practicing first on self leads to compassion for others | ||
| + | |||
| + | R. NVC Empathy is a process of clarifying Feelings and Needs via NVC dialog. | ||
| + | : Other forms of empathy may lead to conflict | ||
| + | |||
| + | S. Empathy is often required first for ourselves, before we have the capacity for giving it to others. | ||
| + | : Clarity on own Feelings & Needs enables "giving from the heart" | ||
| + | |||
| + | T. People progress from focus on rules and authority, to rebellion and on to interdependence. | ||
| + | : Harvey, submit or rebel vs. equality and abstraction | ||
| + | |||
| + | U. Language influences our perception and behavior. | ||
| + | : "I feel that..." or "I feel you..." are not Feelings, words that imply blame or judgment | ||
| + | |||
| + | V. Vulnerability and appreciation are important in building connections between people. | ||
| + | : Differences between praise and appreciation, importance of expressing our Feelings and Needs | ||
Revision as of 02:50, 4 November 2006
Next Meeting December 10, 2006, 3 PM EST
Agenda Items
- More discussion of Core NVC Assumptions
- What can we do about trainer-initiated anecdotal research.
- Talk about retention research.
Possible Contribution - 2001 Concepts List
In case it might be of interest, here's a handout I prepared for a non-credit NVC college class in 2001. At that time I was interested in discovering implicit assumptions within the NVC process, and this list was my first attempt to combine those with major explicit concepts. Some items make general reference to a body of work or subject area, but not specific citations. I haven't reviewed this since then and it probably contains lots of irrelevant stuff, so feel free to delete it if not useful.
Underlying Concepts of Compassionate Communication
- by John Wiley, 2001
A. All people are inherently compassionate, but most have been trained in ways that interfere with it.
- Carl Rogers, altruism, heroism, transformational mediation
B. All people share a small set of core fundamental Needs.
- Hierarchy of needs, interpersonal vs. intrapersonal priority of needs
C. Connection and self-actualization are fundamental human Needs, and both involve other people.
- Philosophical and spiritual factors
D. Needs come into conflict when they are unclear to either party.
- Any clarification of Needs is beneficial to the connection
E. We are all equal, as is the importance of our Needs.
- Humanitarian principles
F. We are each responsible for the origins of our own Feelings.
- Others can be no more than a stimulus for how we feel
G. We are each responsible for the expression and meeting of our own Needs.
- Projection or transferrence of responsibility damages individuals and relationships
H. Problems arise from ineffective (tragic) strategies for expressing and meeting Needs.
- Taking responsibility for meeting our own Needs is the first step in NVC
I. Communication is a process.
- Clarity arises from dialog focused on building connection
J. The NVC process shifts attention from our thinking, to what's alive in our hearts.
- Natural progression: Observations ð Feelings ð Needs ð Requests
K. NVC reframes our perceptions and behavior by placing focus on Feelings and Needs via questions.
- Active Listening or paraphrasing is not NVC, questions vs. assumptions
L. Judgment, guilt, duty, blame and shame all lead to disconnection and violence between people.
- Research on Shame/Rage spiral, benefits vs. costs of shame, high costs of coercion
M. Confusing our thoughts & strategies with Observations, Feelings and Needs leads to pain and conflict.
- Thinking who is what, deciding what people deserve, strategies based on inequality
N. Changing strongly reinforced learned behavior requires considerable motivation, time and practice.
- Alternative is conflict, violence and ultimately the end of civilization
O. "No" in response to an NVC Request is usually the most fruitful response.
- No means the other person isn't coerced and we/they aren't clear on Needs
P. Words are not required for communication, thus Intention is key to effective NVC.
- Nonverbal communication is pervasive & influential, Intention guides us & influences others
Q. All principles of NVC apply to interpersonal and intrapersonal communications.
- Practicing first on self leads to compassion for others
R. NVC Empathy is a process of clarifying Feelings and Needs via NVC dialog.
- Other forms of empathy may lead to conflict
S. Empathy is often required first for ourselves, before we have the capacity for giving it to others.
- Clarity on own Feelings & Needs enables "giving from the heart"
T. People progress from focus on rules and authority, to rebellion and on to interdependence.
- Harvey, submit or rebel vs. equality and abstraction
U. Language influences our perception and behavior.
- "I feel that..." or "I feel you..." are not Feelings, words that imply blame or judgment
V. Vulnerability and appreciation are important in building connections between people.
- Differences between praise and appreciation, importance of expressing our Feelings and Needs
