CIA Session Summary

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This is a summary of all the recorded sessions at the Compassion in Action 2006 event in Oakland, CA. I have made an attempt to classify each session under a single descriptive title, merely to meet needs for clarity and learning. Question can be embedded in this to clarify action items, timeframes, responsibilities, and circle membership. The titles which I describe below include:

NVC Community Support

These sessions involved trainings or brainstorming about how to build stronger NVC training programs in the local communities. These sessions dealt addressing conflict, fundraising, coaching as a career, building a corporate training practice, finding Spanish language resources, marketing NVC workshops, retaining trainees, researching NVC effectiveness, building an organization, and listening to feedback about what might better support the local NVC communities. If each of these developed into web pages for detailed information about these support subjects through the efforts of one or more people, needs for progress, contribution and effectiveness might be met accross the NVC-USA Project.

Conflict in NVC Communities (Kit Miller) – With 30 people attending, it was acknowledged that there had been a great deal of pain in building NVC communities, which also may not have met needs for ease, efficiency, and valuing oneself. The session included a wish for learning that these conflicts are normal, and that resources be made available for those communities and individuals struggling through an NVC community conflict. Small groups thought about typical issues and brainstormed strategies for prevention and resolution. The conflict issues and resolution strategies are listed in the notes. There was general commitment to carry some of these strategies forward. a) Is anyone willing to take leadership in this area? Kit Miller? b) Can we get this list put up on an official page for NVC Communities?

Fundraising in Harmony with NVC (Lynn McMullen) – Participant needs around fundraising may have included inspiration, action, coordination, integrity, competence, growth, effectiveness, support, and a combination of meaning and financial security. Some suggestions and specific opportunities (Scholarship for Peace) were mentioned and some resources as links were provided. Linda did some training on a needs met from giving and receiving: freedom, trust, contribution, inspiration, hope, and sense of community. People give through you (not to you). Inspire others by telling them what inspires you! Some time was also spent discussing how CNVC supports fundraising through projects. Also there was a discussion about major gifts in $1,000-5,000 range versus large gifts and grants. Then a suggestion was made: carry request list and make requests of everyone. Finally a description of how to make a request for funds was provided.

NVC Coaching as a Career (Bob Gailer) – Several people who have been using NVC in coaching were participants who shared their own experiences, while others were looking at making NVC a career, and may have wanted guidance and support. Some ideas provided by Bob to help create and grow a coaching business. Self doubt is a common experience, of coaches.

NVC Heretics – The Loyal Opposition (John Abbe and Lisa-Marie) – Maybe this was an empathy session for the troups in the trenches relative to their dealings with the NVC community and the CNVC organization. Issues raised and maybe discussed included competition among trainers, voice to local communities, language, staff giraffe training, what MBR said did not reflect what was seen in Israel, sociocracy, lack of trust and caring in community, certification process, whether the NVC community uses NVC in their conflicts, shifting from what isn’t working to what can work, and needs for honesty, responsive support, and trust. Choice among these issues to focus on was certification. Suggested what can work:

  • Trainer training for skill building and competence;
  • Multiple pre-assessment paths;
  • Some way to assess skill level that is more than certified or not;
  • Would like subjective criteria in certification packet translated into observables;
  • Involve the assessees in the assessment process (i.e. allow assessees to assess themselves);
  • Guidelines on the web about sharing NVC is appreciated;
  • Assessee helps set the criteria for assessment; and
  • NVC trademark protection through a certification process will increase value associated with name recognition.

Spanish-Language NVC Resources (Saundra Thomas) – The new Spanish translation of “Communicacion no violenta: un lenguaje de vida” was announced to be available now. Several resources were provided:

  1. A search of CNVC.org web site for the word ‘spanish’
  2. Published material: [1] and [2]
  3. Links to NVC supporters in: Mexico, Columbia, Argentina, Costa Rica, and Spain
  4. Mexico/México/mx, México City, Instituto Luz sobre Luz, office 55 52 11 33 46 525552113346, fax 5555532158 525555532158, web site: [3], email
  5. Argentina/ar, Buenos Aires, CNV Argentina, web site: [4] b. e-mail
  6. Spain/España/Espanya/Espainia/Espanha/es, Madrid, La Comunicación No Violenta en España, home 91 287 4890 0034 912874890, mobile 675839820 0034 616244229, web site: [5], e-mail

NVC in the Corporate World (Ann Salsburg) – Ann shared experience of teaching management trainers at Wells Fargo Bank, but there was no follow up. Others also shared their experiences to address questions raised by participants. Some of suggestions included:

  • Charge $2,000 to $10,000 per day.
  • Build contract collaboratively by asking questions like: “What is it you want me to talk about? What do you need to hear from me now to move forward?”
  • Do a needs analysis with focus on relationships.
  • Sell empathy and communication without pissing others off to hospitals, especially to nurses.
  • Be persistent and expect challenges before success.
  • Emphacize needs, not feelings, especially with bankers.
  • Use street language.
  • Use live actors in the trainings.
  • Pursue mediation opportunities in union-management negotiations.
  • Break down into small groups.
  • Make personal connections to get the contract.
  • Sociocracy training may represent an opportunity.
  • Pursue opportunities in planning mergers and organizational restructuring.
  • Use “Software for Your Head: Protocols for Effective Teams” to reduce feeling words to sad, mad or glad.
  • Article by Marshall on NVC in corporations: Group Facilitation Magazine.
  • Check out Betweenthelines.com by Meri Walker who is teaching NVC in corporations.
  • Offer weekend trainings.
  • Try making offerings for free to build value.
  • Read articles at http://www.leadershipthatworks.com/Articles/Articles%20Home.htm
  • Possibility of continuing conversations by phone.

How Do I Market My NVC Workshop? – Advertisement does not pay, but word of mouth is very efficient. Make 10 to 40 minute presentations to existing groups or do shows on local TV stations. Use examples relevant to people in group. Offer discounts if someone brings someone. Practice groups and regular trainings are key. Contact no-shows by phone.

Retention of Learners of NVC (Mary MacKenzie) – Observation is that a large percentage of persons exposed to basic courses in NVC do not engage in further learning. Concern is that large amount of practice and study is needed for fluency and NVC consciousness. One participant had ideas for retention: a) a clear sequence of courses and trainings, b) several different types of intensive non-residential trainings, c) a variety of single session topical workshops, and d) a monthly newsletter. Actions included:

  • Ask BayNVC and CNVC if they have any retention information they could share through NVC Research Committee (Mary MacKenzie); and
  • Send out request to Friends of CNVC and/or other NVC listservs to see if there is someone who would enjoy asking various NVC centers to share any retention data they have through the NVC Research Committee (Jane Connor).

NVC Research for Dummys (Tom Caruso) – Tom explained why you might want to do research and how you might proceed. Reasons include validating NVC to others and supporting growth of NVC, finishing a PhD, or just determining whether a training did what you wanted it to do, and how you might improve your training. He suggest that you find a mentor or someone to do the research for you who has degree in psychology, communications or sociology with experience in evaluation. He spoke about several specific research projects he is doing in Christiansburg, VA and San Diego, CA as examples, and explained the mission of the NVC Research Committee: to increase peer-reviewed publications on NVC research by supporting people who want to do NVC research. Tom indicated that at http://cnvc.org/nvc-research.htm there are several surveys and other resources for researchers.

NVC Organization from Scratch – A list of action steps were provided including:

  • Develop mission statement;
  • Create contact list database with name, phone, address, email (ask CNVC for mailing list of people in your area);
  • Build a Board of Directors to include those that have passion and are willing to take action to build the organization;
  • Find task leaders for fund raising, volunteer coordinator, database, website, marketing;
  • Form a Yahoo Group to get the word out, facilitate discussions, etc.;
  • Build web site to provide a central location for event/class schedule and information;
  • Provide an electronic newsletter;
  • Create a fund raising plan and raise some money (1) Sell t-shirts, CD or DVD's, (2) Donations at events, and (3) Angel investors;
  • A 501C3 is needed when you start collecting donations, or you can collect through organizations like the National Heritage Foundation;
  • Put out wish list for skills and services; and
  • Offer regular intros challenging people to bring new people to these.

Sharings and Connections

This topic includes sessions that seemed to involve a lot of group sharing about what was personally alive for them. These sessions dealt with working with people with strong political, religious, race and class opinions, the desire for a sustainable community, challenges of working in schools, protective use of force issues, relationships among men, and difficulties of participant experiences with open space during the conference. Many offered hope and strategies following discussions of needs. It seems that many of these areas could develop into support areas in which specialists might develop to lead empathy circles for those struggling with these issues.

Breaking Down Race and Class Divides (Miki Kashtan) – Sharing of some needs around this issue of race and class divides maybe meeting needs for connection and being heard, and experiences that have worked possibly meeting needs for hope. Brainstorming of ideas about how to break down race and class divides possibly meeting needs for inspiration. Question of how do we come up with leaders in this area?

Living in Sustainable Community – Participants wanted to share feelings, needs, visions, and dreams. Needs that would be met by living in a sustainable community included support, shared values and interests, closeness, community, growth, support of others (elders and addicts), commitment to working through issues, ease, honesty, and empathy. Specific community opportunities were mentioned (contact lucy@baynvc.org for DC/Virginia communities, also Port Townsend, WA community called Kees Kloff with 10 acres open to NVC, and Willits, CA community) as an example of current opportunities. Some participants may experience fear about making a commitment to a group. Challenges of such communities were raised. An event and several websites and other media mentioned to support people interested in sustainable communities.

Making American Political Life Wonderful Through NVC OR Applying NVC to Politics (Drew Johnson) – Individuals talked about their own experiences and the needs met or, more often, not met. Seemed like participants may have had need for empathy regarding their experience of politics today, as well as NVC experiences they have had concerning politics. I wonder where the empathy team was for this session?

Tracking the Educational Evolution (Sura Hart and Adrian Reznik) – Some history about the NVC in Schools project was first shared, and Sura’s specific experience at a Charter School in LA for which an attempt was made to transform the view from “power-over” to sharing a consciousness of needs in which everyone’s needs are cared for equally supporting children, parents and educators. Sura explained the challenges considering this was a young, unstable organization with educators needing much empathy. Sura explained the biggest challenges, conditions needed for realizing the paradigm shift in education, and emerging programs in schools. Currently ongoing resources mentioned including:

  • NVC Online Ed Group and Regional NVC Educators’ dialogues
  • 5-Day Summer Teacher Institute expanding to three sessions
  • Boulder Creek Academy in Northern Idaho expanding to 65 students looking for NVC practitioners, teachers, counselors, therapists, etc. (marjorie.timms@uhsinc.com)

Protective Use of Force and Civil Disobedience (Clark Foerster) – Clark shared learnings about ignoring information and the impact it has had in history. He wants to be screaming in Giraffe about needs of all beings, and alerting others to how specific strategies may not meet these needs. Clark wants to see more transformatic actions that change the structural nature of relationships altering the course of possibilities. Civil disobedience may be a strategy for screaming in Giraffe to stop government decisions which do not meet the needs of the world community. Gandhi used as example, and much more. Discussion followed to express sadness triggered by limited discussion on NVCSocialChange listserv because needs for connection and community were not being met. Some expressed fears that potential employers were using web-based information to make hiring decisions, so putting information on the web did not meet their need for safety. Ended with possible action to address security in the discussion group to have further online discussion.

Men Laughing and Crying (Marc Scruggs) – This man yearns connection with men in a respecting and empathic environment. Men’s groups don’t meet this need, but he has a vision that a group of men using NVC would meet his needs. Relates his own experience with becoming a new father again, maybe needing empathy for needs associated with his relationships with his father and daughter. He’s clearly wanting to be a father that meets the needs of his children for nurturing and support, i.e. being a ‘good parent’. Furthermore when he thinks about his relationships with men he sometimes feels scared and overwhelmed, I wonder if he needs to feel valuable as a male? He’s afraid of anger, maybe because he likes control? He’s confused about why he doesn’t take action which I’m guessing is related to his needs for integrity and self-value. Others who heard this expressed hope that this clarity of his needs might stimulate him to take action in the future. His vision is that men can transform strategies of starting wars, polluting the environment, etc. into constructive strategies.

  • Does Marc have a specific and doable request?
  • Provide Marc with information about Mankind Project which could easily incorporate NVC in its processes, including regular meetings. (Tom Caruso)

Bringing NVC to S.U.V. America: A Brainstorm (Drew Johnson) – Unmet needs of participants may have been safety, ease, authenticity, integrity, contribution, and empathy. To support these needs, participants shared experiences in which NVC was used to communicate with ‘conservative’ individuals. One participant explained their strategy to illustrate NVC with Christian teachings. Participants also asked about how our patterns with NVC affect our ability to communicate with SUV America. This included the special words required by NVC and how trainers either want participants to come to them, or if they go out to the community. Convener provided additional backup material on the website including an illustrative example, a discussion about NVC relative to levels of consciousness (i.e. Ken Wilber philosophy), notes from Speaking Peace in World of Conflict by MBR, and translating NVC into languages. Brainstorming then generated the following possible actions:

  • Train NVCers to have empathy for S.U.V. America;
  • Write material to appeal to Christian fundamentalists;
  • Online template for marketing to different groups.

Grounding Open Space in NVC Connection (Informal at Lunch) – Participants shared about their open space experience, with a sense of loss of connection in large groups and with people we didn’t know before this event, and a sense of loss concerning the purpose and theme of the conference. Some suggestions were made for future open space meetings:

  1. Use dyads in large group session, especially the first one;
  2. Invite other strategies for connection to the purpose and to each other before sessions are offerred;
  3. Plan only one day at a time;
  4. Provide structured activity for connection and self-connection; and
  5. Use some group games.


Regarding the above passage: A 501C3 is needed when you start collecting donations, or you can collect through organizations like the National Heritage Foundation;


State of Maine Office of Securities_ 21 State House Station Augusta, Maine 04333-0121

IN RE: NOTICE OF INTENT 06-073

JAMES L. CLIFFORD ALLEGATIONS 1. James L. Clifford (“Clifford”) (CRD # 1419478) is an individual who has been licensed in Maine as a sales representative or agent since at least 1985. His last known address is 955 Eastern Avenue, Holden, Maine 04429. 2. From December 4, 1997, to the present, Clifford has worked as a sales representative or agent at the Brewer, Maine, branch office of Investors Capital Corp. (“ICC”). 3. Pearl P. Schoppe (“Ms. Schoppe”) was a life-long resident of Orono, Maine, and the valedictorian of the 1936 graduating class of Husson College in Bangor, Maine. 4. In May of 1996 Ms. Schoppe established a living trust (the “Schoppe Trust”) with herself as trustee and with two of her relatives designated as trustees upon her death. The original trust document directed that upon Ms. Schoppe’s death, after payment of any of Ms. Schoppe’s debts, expenses and taxes, and certain distributions, the remainder of the trust property was to be held in trust for Husson College with income distributions to fund a scholarship program. 5. Ms. Schoppe was conservative with her investments. She essentially bought only certificates of deposits and fixed annuities. 6. In October of 1998, Ms. Schoppe, then age 80, amended the trust document to, among other things, change the trustee upon her death to Clifford. The amendment also changed the provision regarding the distribution of the remainder of her trust property. As amended, instead of the property being held in trust for Husson, the trust instrument dictated that the property was to be “distributed to the National Heritage Foundation F.B.O. Pearl P. Schoppe Foundation.” 7. The charitable purpose stated by Ms. Schoppe on the National Heritage Foundation application was “Assist students of the Greater Bangor/Brewer, Orono/Old Town, ME area who need financial aid to attend Husson College. To be paid out interest only 80% of interest to go to students, 20% of the interest to go back into the Foundation so foundation will continue to grow.” 8. Ms. Schoppe died on January 19, 2000. 9. On March 7, 2000, in Singer Island, Florida, Clifford and John T.”Dock” Houck, II, CEO of National Heritage Foundation, (“NHF”) completed the paperwork for “National Heritage Foundation Inc. FBO Pearl Schoppe FNDTN” to purchase a $150,000 variable annuity from Conseco Variable Annuity Insurance Company through ICC, using funds from the Schoppe Trust. 10. On May 11, 2000, Clifford sent an additional $50,000 from the Schoppe Trust’s checking account to Conseco to add to the variable annuity. 11. The subaccounts chosen by Clifford and Houck were largely more-risky growth funds, when Ms. Schoppe’s stated intent and investment history dictated the use of more conservative income-producing investments. 12. The variable annuity sold by Clifford to the foundation was unsuitable for the charitable purposes expressed by Ms. Schoppe. There was no tax benefit and no value to having a death benefit on the life of Mr. Houck to offset the higher costs and reduced liquidity of the investment. 13. Clifford received $12,600 in commissions on these transactions. In addition, Clifford has paid himself trustee fees exceeding $42,000.00 from the trust assets despite the fact that he appears to have provided little if any valuable services to the trust. 14. Since the purchase of the variable annuity in March of 2000, Husson College has received no scholarship money from the Pearl P. Schoppe Foundation. 15. Under federal law, variable annuities are securities and the offer and sale of variable annuities is regulated by the United States Securities and Exchange Commission (the “SEC”) under the Securities Act of 1933 and Securities Exchange Act of 1934. 16. The NASD is a national securities association registered with the SEC under §15A and in accordance with the provision of §19(a) of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. 17. NASD Rules are filed with the SEC and promulgated under §19(b) of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. NASD rules apply to “all members and persons associated with a member. Persons associated with a member shall have the same duties and obligations as a member” under the association’s rules. NASD Rule 0115. 18. ICC is a member of NASD and Clifford is a person associated with ICC. 19. NASD Rule 2310 requires that a member have reasonable grounds for believing that a recommended purchase is suitable for a customer based on the facts disclosed by the customer including the customer’s investment objectives. 20. By virtue of his training and experience, Clifford knew the requirements of NASD Rule 2310. Through his customer relationship with Ms. Schoppe, Clifford knew her investment objectives and the charitable purpose for which she established the Pearl P. Schoppe Foundation. Thus, Clifford intentionally or knowingly failed to comply with NASD Rule 2310. 32 M.R.S.A. §10313(1)(B). 21. By using funds of the Schoppe Trust to purchase an unsuitable investment, Clifford engaged in unlawful or unethical conduct in the securities business. 32 M.R.S.A. §10313(1)(G). 22. Pursuant to 32 M.R.S.A. §§10313 and 16702, the Securities Administrator may, after notice and opportunity for hearing, issue an order to revoke the license of a licensee or impose a bar on a licensee if the Securities Administrator finds that the order is in the public interest and that the licensee: (1) has engaged in unlawful, unethical or dishonest conduct in the securities business; or (2) has intentionally or knowingly violated or failed to comply with a rule under the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. NOTICE Notice is hereby given that the Securities Administrator intends to issue an Order to Revoke Clifford’s Agent License and Censure Him or Bar Him from Association under 32 M.R.S.A. §§10313(1) and 16702(1). If Clifford wants to request a hearing in this matter, he must do so in writing within thirty (30) calendar days of the date of this Notice of Intent. 32 M.R.S.A. §§10708, 16702(1).

Date: November 28, 2006 /s/ Michael J. Colleran ` Michael J. Collera Securities Administrator Date: November 28, 2006 /s/ Bonnie E. Russell Bonnie E. Russell Assistant Securities Administrator Date: November 28, 2006 /s/ Willis P. Smedberg Willis P. Smedberg Investigator/Examiner Last Updated: December 20, 2006 4:42 PM

NVC Trainings

These sessions were clearly trainings provided by one or two trainers in which a specific NVC-based skill was being conveyed. The trainers taught about how to maximize your leadership potential, savoring needs and values, interactive NVC introductions, slowing the NVC process, transforming Jackal Mind into a spiritual gift, and parenting. Each of these could be produced as courses for the NVC Academy to support trainers.

Unleashing Your Power as an NVC Leader (Miki and Inbal Kashtan) – Ask two simple questions: (1) What is your biggest vision of yourself that taps into the place where we know who we are and what we can bring into the world? And (2) What is one message why I can’t transform it? Then use NVC to tap into feelings and needs in that message by using a specific instance. Use a partner or a triad.

Savoring Your Own Needs & Values (Met or Unmet) – Discussed shifting attention from whether needs are met or not to experiencing the power and aliveness of your needs. This session was videorecorded and is on NVC Live, but no notes were posted.

Interactive Intros and Communication Tube (Jean) – Description of an interactive introduction to NVC. • Email description of circular model to represent NVC (Jean)

Slowing the Process – Explanation of needs met by slowing down the training process, as well as strategies for slowing the process. This method uses body awareness, body language, energy level, what is going on with yourself vs. what is going on with someone else, and awareness of our responsibility for what we experience.

Transforming the Jackal Mind Deep Structure and Spirituality (Robert Gonzales; Recorded for NVC Live on NVC Academy) – Robert, who in my judgement may have been the clearest analytical thinker about NVC, described the structure and content of the mind as two dimensions operating in jackal thinking. The structure has constant quality while the content is variable changing with circumstance. Robert notices that with many people, even with efforts to connect with the feelings and needs behind the jackal, jackal thinking persists, i.e. reemerges with specific stimuli. So Robert recommends a deep analysis of the jackal and its ‘beliefs’, which are the result of a direct experience and an interpretation. My reading is that Robert went deep into the psychological importance of needs. Understanding these two components of mind is important for this deep analysis: STRUCTURE of Mind: Mediated experience, thoughts, fundamentally empty and with no life, and though they convey meaning they are meaningful by themselves, causing striving and identification with content, thereby limiting our experience; and CONTENT of Mind: Notions of self, life and others, that “I am not good enough”, “something is wrong with me,” “I don’t matter,” etc. and that there is not enough time, money, love, etc. or life is a struggle and painful. Robert says exchanging one belief like “I am unworthy” with another like “I am OK” does not stop the mind from striving for outer fulfillment. Instead, gradually authentically connect to presence, care, compassion, and clarity from consciousness of these patterns. Follow these steps:

  • Pick a common pattern.
  • Spell out the OFNR.
  • Illuminate the jackals.
  • Identify the core belief under the jackal thinking.
  • Notice how it feels in your body.
  • What need is not met when connected to this core belief?
  • Then connect with the beauty of that need by (1) remembering a time the need was fulfilled, (2) imagining a time in future when the need might be met, or (3) examing the quality of the unmet need from present experience.
  • How do you feel in the energy of this need? What is your physical experience, or your thinking and understanding?
  • Either address the need with a strategy OR just enjoy encountering the beauty of the need, as an end in itself.

Parenting (Inbal Kashtan) – Discussed the question: why is parenting with NVC is so challenging? Participants want to contribute to, to trust in choices of their children will develop independence and wellbeing, to support, to be inspired and to inspire, to come from compassion, to respect each other mutually, and to believe that the child is and will be safe from harm.

  • Inbal wants parents to have compassion for themselves so that they may be free of judgements. Compassion for self is a gift to child. This is our biggest challenge. Sura shared that for her NVC is about being authentic about her own needs and having a sense that the needs of children matter. Inbal also mentioned the foundation of transforming from domination to partnership paradigm to impress upon children that their needs matter.
  • Observation was made that children have much less access to external resources like food, legal system, etc. and we use this power over children because we feel helpless to meet our needs relative to them. Trust leads to partnership and power with.
  • In discussing that boundaries are a strategy serving trust, safety and ease, the idea that NVC improves our attention to our needs and our childs needs, creating a strategy that meets both as opposed to meeting just our needs or the childs needs.
  • Protective force maybe better called unilateral force, unless I am talking about meeting safety needs.
  • Hold on to Your Kid, Alfie Kohn but he has not completely shifted to power with.

Possible Subprojects

These sessions are potential Subproject opportunities for the NVC USA Project if a leaders and circles can be defined for them. The sessions included promoting NVC a la Gandhi and MLK, marketing NVC, selling training globally to the Mankind Project and Women Within, marketing NVC workshops, expanding NVC mediation, creating an NVC EcoVillage, developing the Southern CA Regional NVC Network, integrating arts education with NVC, connecting playback theatre and NVC, and developing online NVC training. Some of these are already forming circles (such as the Southern CA Regional NVC Network) but specific support from the NVC USA Project might encourage these projects which could have an important impact on expansion of NVC in the US.

Nonviolent Action a la Gandhi and MLK (Lee Tuley) – Lots of needs being unmet as the result of violence in the world – need for the well-being of all people, effectiveness, efficiency, being heard, respect for human life, communication, compassion, empathy, authenticity, understanding by others, nurturing, action, and personal growth – and many suggestions for nonviolent strategies:

  • Help Michael Nagler distribute his new book.
  • Support Michael Nagler and David Harzog in a civil disobedience action on Sept 21, 2006 to request complete withdrawal of all US troops from Iraq by that date, but be careful that you may be trying to dominate the domination system.
  • Herald true heros that give contributions to the community.
  • Let go of the ego.
  • Send copies of Inconvenient Truth.
  • Support clean money in November elections in California (www.CAclean.org and www.cleanmoneyelections.org).
  • Announce and invite coming together of groups on 9/11 to celebrate the 100 year anniversary of Ghandi’s first nonviolent action (Terri to announce to CompassionInActionUSA participants, DONE?, others putting out on Craig’s list, WAACO, and other online forums).
  • Go to fundamentalist churchs, get empathy from those you can for your needs, and give empathy to those at these churches.
  • Love what is.
  • Be creative and peaceful in political process.

Marketing NVC (Dennis McMann) – Idea was to bring NVC to the development of a marketing message for different target communities. Targets suggested included youth, yoga teachers and students, church congregations, law enforcement, school children, parents, prisoners, Native Americans, Spanish-speaking people, couples, teachers, school administrators, mediators, social and pyschological therapists, psychiatrists, nurses, physicians, hospital administrators, political and peace activists, business people, conservative religious groups, crisis support centers, social services, and people interested in healing, natural foods, or personal growth. These were divided into those with the same language and those who have a barrier due to the language. Specific efforts were made in dyads to define needs of some of these groups and even strategies for accessing them. These groups included Native Americans, disenfrancised NVC participants (the hanger-arounds and the walk-awayers), therapists, parents

  • Establish a name for NVC that everyone can agree on. This issue of the NVC name came up twice in the notes, as it did in other session on marketing of NVC, with the concern that the name does not clearly communicate the message about something that people need.
  • Develop worksheet for each name of group identified with the following columns: (1) Indentified needs NVC could meet for this group, (2) Benefits NVC can achieve/offer to meet these needs, and (3) Message words to describe these benefits in understandable terms by members of this group. Who is leading this?
  • What about creating a resource with needs/strategies/tools for the NVC USA Wiki for each target group? Who would lead this?

National Training Opportunity: Mankind Project & Women Within (Tom Caruso) – The Mankind Project and Women Within were described and discussed as an international training opportunity for increasing exposure of male and female leaders in the world to NVC. Briefly these programs are based on Jungian ideas of how to gain cognitive understanding of deep psychological patterns of behaviors. Throughout their processes they teach the use of a clear communication structure (data, similar to observation, judgements, feelings, and wants, similar to strategies) missing only needs. Tom has connected to leaders in the Greater Carolina Center of MKP, but does not have the expertise to provide the quality of training he would like. He also thinks that other centers could also be approached, but needs men who have gone through the MKP New Warrior Training Adventure (see www.mkp.org).

  • Find connections for Bob Gailer (Bay Area MKP, DONE), Pan Camberlin (Seattle MKP) and Holly Eckert (Seattle WW) (Tom Caruso)
  • Look up WW and see if there is interest in pursuing this training opportunity (Holly Eckert, DONE – Yes she is pursuing)

How Do I Market My NVC Workshop? – Advertisement is helpful to build brand awareness about NVC, but most effective when done at national level. The action agreed to was:

  • Put together a national marketing circle to urge CNVC to take responsibility for building awareness of NVC, and create a mechanism for funding this effort (Possible Project); and
  • Establish a name for NVC that everyone can agree on.

NVC Eco Village (Upgeya Pew) – Upgeya used this opportunity to explain the the Six-Fold Pathway for Social Evolution and Community Development. Everyone contributed to visioning of an NVC Eco Village. Some participants shared grief around not meeting needs that would be met by the community envisioned. Two gathering opportunities mentioned: (1) Circles of Hope gatherings in NY (August) and CA (September) of people interested in sustainable community with an NVC component, and (2) Findhorn 30 day intensive in February about creating an eco-village. Several actions were offerred by participants:

  • Email everyone and organize a phone conference to take place around two weeks from now (July 10th; Barbara); and
  • Email everyone the web address for the NVC Sustainable Community yahoo group where everyone can share.

Southern California Regional NVC Network Visioning (Rodger Sorrow) – Questions raised included (1) whether setting up a nonprofit would be worthwhile, (2) whether S CA might be divided up into four quarters, (3) whether a Yahoo group might be useful, (4) whether they might just be a program within the existing CNVC nonprofit organization, (5) what might be actions associated with Interdependence Day in September, (6) do they want to use open space technology, (7) would an association of trainers and leaders meet needs of those participating, (8) would it be helpful to have an inner administrative circle with other circles around it for newsletters, trainings, practice groups, etc.? All agreed that consent would be used over consensus. An agenda for a specific event was considered and concerns were expressed concerning structure and intentions. Some actions included:

  • Create a core administrative circle.
  • Offer empathy within the trainer and administrative circles.
  • Harvest information from other networks: (1) connect with Kit Miller at BayNVC (Rodger), and (2) connect with Barbara Larson from PSNCC (Kathi Aichner).
  • Schedule an event (Deborah Gibson).
  • Establish the present group as the core, and trust that inclusion needs will be met for others wanting to participate in the core.
  • Explore program relationship with CNVC.
  • Will provide paperwork for 501C3 from New Mexico (Jim Manske)
  • Gather information about different groups in county that want to join the this organization, such that a regional network might develop from individual county circles. (All)

Expanding NVC Mediation in the USA (Ike Lassiter & John Kenyon) – After scattered comments, participants described their experience and interests in mediation and then Ike and John described their training model. Then the group began to brainstorm and discuss how to expand mediation in the U.S. Some of the actions suggested were:

  • Present at societies of mediators to teach the mediation community including lawyers and academics about NVC mediation;
  • Get information out to marriage and family therapists as a strategy that they might suggest to their clients;
  • Bring NVC into the accepted methodologies of mediation through academic connections;
  • Post continuing education application on CompassionInActionUSA.org website (Ike); and
  • Send mediation training brochure used with NM Bar that had MCLEs (Jori/Jane, DONE).

Connecting Playback Theater and NVC – How playback is used with NVC was explained at this session, and a particular example was used to demonstrate it. Actions were to:

  • Made list of people who want to be on a playback/NVC listserv

Arts Education and Expressive Therapies in NVC (Marjorie Timms) – Descriptions of current and recent practices, and strategies/tools for experiencing the arts in the context of NVC. Several warm-up exercises with sound, movement and fluid sculpture. Actions were to: a) Create NVC-based school in Northern Idaho for teens using NVC and arts integration and infusion (Marjorie; looking for others interested); b) Explore NVC connection to Playback Theatre by forming a Yahoo group (Marjorie/Lynn/Mark Roberts/12 others); c) develop parent/child performance piece, NVC workshops and initiate a national tour in 2008; d) explore NVC connection with arts education of home-schooled children; e) develop NVC for elementary children labeled as ‘emotionally/behaviorally challenged’; f) discover parent/child connection through the arts.

Online NVC Training (No Session Notes) – This convener is excited about the possibilities to augment face-to-face trainings with online integration and follow-up, to create online trainings for organizations, to enhance NVC learning through exposure to large number of NVC trainers worldwide, and to reach people outside of the usual NVC target communities.

Novel Techniques that Enhance or Use NVC

These sessions involved techniques that can be combined or integrated with NVC to make them both more effective. These included chants for experiencing unconditional love (Angel Wash), focusing more on body awareness, meditating increasing compassion and love, using NVC online, applying NVC principles in psychotherapy, using NVC as basis of playback theatre, manifesting need satisfaction, and building community. These novel approaches are exciting, meeting needs for creativity and connection with others who may have more familiarity with chants, meditation, email, theatre, intentional creation, and community building.

Angel Wash (Mair) – An experience sharing non-verbal unconditional love with singing, meeting needs for presence, self-expression, nurturing, connection, giving, and spiritual grounding.

Learning Your Body’s Language: Creating an Intensity Continuum (Megan Eoyang) – Description of a technique for using body awareness for self empathy. Exercises were provided to experience this technique.

  • Put Intensity Continuum forms on Compassion in Action website (Meganwind)

Meditation to Draw in the Energy of Compassion and Love (Nana Dunn) – Know it happenned but there are no notes.

  • Could we get links to material she read?

Online Applications of NVC (Drew Johnson) – People came with the following needs: healing, continued connection after geographic separation, and effectiveness at connecting online. Participants explained some of the problems and issues unique to communicating online, and some ideas to solve them.

NVC and Psychotherapy (Jim Hussey) – Discussed how to use to create empathic space in therapy with some direction, and how this was like NVC. If intention is to facilitate needs and desires of participant, then alternative tools that did not evaluate and did not have an agenda were empathic. Legal issues were addressed maybe for those without licensing as therapists, and this can be addressed using the idea of coaching or empathy. Other resources and specific tools mentioned were:

  • Traumatic Incident Reduction and Metapsychology (http://tira.org)
  • Emotion Freedom Technique (http://emofree.com)
  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
  • Article by Wayland Meyers on NVC and Addictive Behaviors

Playback Theatre in NVC (Lynn and Mark) – Explanations and demonstrations provided of use of sound, movement, free play, morphing objects, passing objects, warm-up exercises, treatment of suggestions from the audience, examination of metaphors and literal sense of words, fluid sculpture in response to teller’s request or story, treatment of each story as a gift, and question at end about whether the gift was acceptable. Specific actions or next steps proposed included:

  • Connect via NVC/Playback Yahoo Group;
  • Explore ways Playback can be used in NVC and check back via NVC/Playback Yahoo Group;
  • Develop their own Playback Theatre companies (June and Mark)
  • Develop Playback Theatre/NVC in education and community-building (Marjorie)
  • Contacts for training schedules, events, and materials (Jonathan Fox, Jo Salas, and Playback Theatre International)

The Sixfold Path of Community Building (Upgeya Pew) – Upgeya explained his version of the Sixfold Model of Contegrity created by Ken Ambender. This path, which is naturally not ordered in real life is:

  • CONNECTION: All projects start with our relationship to ourselves and others.
  • CONCEPTION: Only together can we create the conditions that enliven our imagination.
  • CONDITIONING: Implementation requires a clarity about what resources are required.
  • CREATION: We take action to create our dreams.
  • CELEBRATION (and MOURNINGS): We express gratitude and mourn the losses.
  • CONTRIBUTION: We contribute to new people and culture around us.

The Art and Science of Manifesting (Melanie Sears) – Melanie shared her learning inspired by the book “Excuse me, your life is waiting” by Lynn Grabhorn. These techniques when added to NVC leads to getting needs met. Each person shared their dreams, and addressed what needs might be met and how that would feel. Matthew said we should breathe into the feelings to help remember the needs when they come up again. Alternatively we can counter negative judgement by expressing self appreciation daily for 30 days. Resources mentioned included: