NVCWiki - User contributions [en]

Main Page

2018-01-07T11:20:06Z

Nvcwikiop:

__NOTOC__
Welcome to NVC Wiki - a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiki wiki] serving the global [[Nonviolent Communication]] (NVC) network.

'''Help''' with '''[[Help:Contents| NVCwiki]]''', and more detailed help for '''[http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/MediaWiki_User's_Guide#For_readers reading]''' and for '''[http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/MediaWiki_User's_Guide#For_editors editing]'''.

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==General NVC topics==
*[[ NVC_Groups | NVC regional groups websites]] - click to add yours or see others
*[[Sociocracy in NVC | Sociocracy in NVC]]
*[[Education]]
*[[Spirituality]]
*[[Social change]]
*[[Restorative justice]]
*[[Parenting]]
*[[NVC in Business]]
----
*[[Listening with Empathy]] and [[Expressing Honestly]]
*The basic [[Four part model]]
*[[Key differentiations]]

==Resources ==
*[[Materials]]
*[[Stories]]
*[[Literature]]
*[[Songs]]
*[[Quotes]]
*[[Practice group exercises]]
*[[Media]] - audio and video

*[[NVC Mentorship and Coaching Directory|Mentorship and Coaching]]
*[[Mailing lists]] about Nonviolent Communication
*[[Internet Relay Chat]] for live text chat with other NVC folks

[[Links]] to other NVC resources outside this wiki

==Other NVC wikis==

There are [[many NVC wikis]]. What to do?

-----

'''[[Feedback | Feedback of wiki users]]'''

'''[[NVC Wiki Technical Issues]]'''

'''[[Administration News]]'''

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<div style="padding:0.3em 1em 0.7em 1em; background-color:#f8f8ff;">

==Projects using the wiki==

[[NVC IT Status]] - The [[CNVC IT Committee]]

[http://www.cnvc.org CNVC Board] - Working space for Board, now on http://cnvc.org (choosing COMMUNITY tab and GOVERNANCE, and BOARD). [[CNVC Board|Old CNVC Board]]

[[CNVC LT]] - Leadership Team (LT)

[[CNVC GCC]] - GCC circle & Network Coordinators

[[Internet Relay Chat]] ([http://ourpla.net/nvcchat.html click here]) or [[Instant_Messaging_Network | NVCtalk]] - two ways to connect live about NVC

[[NVC Research Circle]] - NVC Research Information

[[NVC USA Project]] - planned the '06 NVC USA conference [[Compassion In Action]], may do another

[[American Summer Festival]] planning

==News==
*'''Description:''' [[CNVC Office Manager Position]] 3/08.
*About the '''[[CNVC Office Move]]''' from LA to ABQ.

==People using the wiki==
Photos and words - [[People using the wiki]]

</div>

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LT Minutes & Agenda - February 5, 2007 Meeting

2018-01-07T11:19:22Z

Nvcwikiop: Changed protection level for "LT Minutes & Agenda - February 5, 2007 Meeting" ([Edit=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (indefinite))

=LT Minutes - February 5, 2007 Meeting=
'''Attending:''' John Wiley, Stephen Wisbauer, Jori and Jim Manske, Danielle Beenders
and William Poehner.

Next scheduled meeting is Conference starting Sunday February 25, 8:00 AM in Albuquerque NM.

*Deliverables at the face to face meeting, the group would like to address:
# 'functioning': sociocratic; autocratic; etc, 'style'. Clarity which decisions made by what method and by whom.
# management team 'setup': clarity in relation to roles already delineated.
# strategic detailing (priority & how / who/ resources): know how will we fulfill strategic priotities, next steps and plan.
# financial plan: self-finance vs. invest / consequences/ outcomes.

*Discussion around the process since the October 2006 face-to-face meeting:
# appreciation for the patience.
# needs for clarity.
# request: we all bring proposals to the meeting in the OFNR format.
# feedback from consultants.

*Discussion around the observers' presence at LT meetings: There were strong concerns for both keeping LT meetings open or closed for observers. After discussion everyone seemed to move toward unanimous support of open meetings unless privacy is needed for a particular issue.

===Decision===
Jori agreed to send out an email to the LT group with the proposal that the LT follow the Board policy concerning observers:
<blockquote>"'''Policy 1.B.1.a.''' The board shall welcome observers to its meetings; inform observers of the role of the Board would like the observers to play; and to check whether observers are willing to agree with the Board's requests after they have heard the Board's needs for connection, safety, efficiency and clarity."</blockquote>

===Check out===
:*Stefan: thank you all, I am glad we are on the same page and to have more clarity in whether I will come to the meeting or not.

:*William: I feel a sense of peace and joy when I think of the job we have embarked. Rebuild an international organization and at the same time attempt to hold the NVC consciousness. This is a historical event that the world would benefit greatly from and I see our transparency at it's peak of importance. We're doing it, and its tough and we're growing!

:*Danielle: I am happy to support and help in anyway I can.

:*Jim: I have a lot of hope around the face to face meeting.

:*Jori: glad to have a team for feedback.

:*John: I celebrate the consciousness, flexibility and commitment in this group.

=LT Agenda - Feb.5, 2007 Meeting=
Monday 5 Feb, 6pm London time, 10 am Pacific Time
*10am - Check-in (30 min).
*10:30 - Discussion of desired deliverables / outputs for the Conference (Stefan, 10 min.).
::·Suggest including draft strategic plans in key priority areas at next level of detail.
*10:40 - Discussion of process (John, 10 min.).
*10:50 - Observer Policy for LT meetings (John, 15 min.).
*11:05 - Trainer commission policy (Jori, 15 min.).
*11:20 - Office changes (Jim 10 min.).
*11:30 - Check-out (10 min.).
* Tabled - Role definitions and recruitment options for LT Positions (Jori, 20 min.).
* Tabled - Update on organization restructuring review (Marshall & Valentina, 15 min.).
* Tabled - What kind of special consulting we need and how to fund it (Marshall, 10 min.).
* Tabled - Role and funding of Sociocracy and John Buck in CNVC (Valentina, 10 min.).
* Tabled - Role and funding of Barbara & Sartaj in CNVC (Valentina, 10 min.).

Main Page

2009-05-11T08:43:00Z

Nvcwikiop: /* Projects using the wiki */

__NOTOC__
Welcome to NVC Wiki - a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiki wiki] serving the global [[Nonviolent Communication]] (NVC) network.

'''Help''' with '''[[Help:Contents| NVCwiki]]''', and more detailed help for '''[http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/MediaWiki_User's_Guide#For_readers reading]''' and for '''[http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/MediaWiki_User's_Guide#For_editors editing]'''.

To register and be able to contribute to the NVC wiki, please send your requested username (this can simply be your name) to '''[mailto:nvcwiki@gmail.com nvcwiki@gmail.com]'''. Everyone is welcome. (Registration is done by email, until we find a better solution, as spam bots were registering automatically and spamming the wiki pages.)

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{| width="100%"
|-
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==General NVC topics==
*[[ NVC_Groups | NVC regional groups websites]] - click to add yours or see others
*[[Sociocracy in NVC | Sociocracy in NVC]]
*[[Education]]
*[[Spirituality]]
*[[Social change]]
*[[Restorative justice]]
*[[Parenting]]
*[[NVC in Business]]
----
*[[Listening with Empathy]] and [[Expressing Honestly]]
*The basic [[Four part model]]
*[[Key differentiations]]

==Resources ==
*[[Materials]]
*[[Stories]]
*[[Literature]]
*[[Songs]]
*[[Quotes]]
*[[Practice group exercises]]
*[[Media]] - audio and video

*[[NVC Mentorship and Coaching Directory|Mentorship and Coaching]]
*[[Mailing lists]] about Nonviolent Communication
*[[Internet Relay Chat]] for live text chat with other NVC folks

[[Links]] to other NVC resources outside this wiki

==Other NVC wikis==

There are [[many NVC wikis]]. What to do?

-----

'''[[Feedback | Feedback of wiki users]]'''

'''[[NVC Wiki Technical Issues]]'''

'''[[Administration News]]'''

| style="vertical-align:top; width:48%;" |


<div style="padding:0.3em 1em 0.7em 1em; background-color:#f8f8ff;">

==Projects using the wiki==

[[NVC IT Status]] - The [[CNVC IT Committee]]

[http://www.cnvc.org CNVC Board] - Working space for Board, now on http://cnvc.org (choosing COMMUNITY tab and GOVERNANCE, and BOARD). [[CNVC Board|Old CNVC Board]]

[[CNVC LT]] - Leadership Team (LT)

[[CNVC GCC]] - GCC circle & Network Coordinators

[[Internet Relay Chat]] ([http://ourpla.net/nvcchat.html click here]) or [[Instant_Messaging_Network | NVCtalk]] - two ways to connect live about NVC

[[NVC Research Circle]] - NVC Research Information

[[NVC USA Project]] - planned the '06 NVC USA conference [[Compassion In Action]], may do another

[[American Summer Festival]] planning

==News==
*'''Description:''' [[CNVC Office Manager Position]] 3/08.
*About the '''[[CNVC Office Move]]''' from LA to ABQ.

==People using the wiki==
Photos and words - [[People using the wiki]]

</div>

[[de:]]
[[fr:]]

Main Page

2009-05-11T08:39:40Z

Nvcwikiop: /* Projects using the wiki */

__NOTOC__
Welcome to NVC Wiki - a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiki wiki] serving the global [[Nonviolent Communication]] (NVC) network.

'''Help''' with '''[[Help:Contents| NVCwiki]]''', and more detailed help for '''[http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/MediaWiki_User's_Guide#For_readers reading]''' and for '''[http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/MediaWiki_User's_Guide#For_editors editing]'''.

To register and be able to contribute to the NVC wiki, please send your requested username (this can simply be your name) to '''[mailto:nvcwiki@gmail.com nvcwiki@gmail.com]'''. Everyone is welcome. (Registration is done by email, until we find a better solution, as spam bots were registering automatically and spamming the wiki pages.)

----
{| width="100%"
|-
| style="vertical-align:top; width:52%;" |


==General NVC topics==
*[[ NVC_Groups | NVC regional groups websites]] - click to add yours or see others
*[[Sociocracy in NVC | Sociocracy in NVC]]
*[[Education]]
*[[Spirituality]]
*[[Social change]]
*[[Restorative justice]]
*[[Parenting]]
*[[NVC in Business]]
----
*[[Listening with Empathy]] and [[Expressing Honestly]]
*The basic [[Four part model]]
*[[Key differentiations]]

==Resources ==
*[[Materials]]
*[[Stories]]
*[[Literature]]
*[[Songs]]
*[[Quotes]]
*[[Practice group exercises]]
*[[Media]] - audio and video

*[[NVC Mentorship and Coaching Directory|Mentorship and Coaching]]
*[[Mailing lists]] about Nonviolent Communication
*[[Internet Relay Chat]] for live text chat with other NVC folks

[[Links]] to other NVC resources outside this wiki

==Other NVC wikis==

There are [[many NVC wikis]]. What to do?

-----

'''[[Feedback | Feedback of wiki users]]'''

'''[[NVC Wiki Technical Issues]]'''

'''[[Administration News]]'''

| style="vertical-align:top; width:48%;" |


<div style="padding:0.3em 1em 0.7em 1em; background-color:#f8f8ff;">

==Projects using the wiki==

[[NVC IT Status]] - The [[CNVC IT Committee]]

[http://www.cnvc.org CNVC Board] - Working space for Board, now on http://cnvc.org (choosing COMMUNITY tab and GOVERNANCE, and BOARD)

[[CNVC LT]] - Leadership Team (LT)

[[CNVC GCC]] - GCC circle & Network Coordinators

[[Internet Relay Chat]] ([http://ourpla.net/nvcchat.html click here]) or [[Instant_Messaging_Network | NVCtalk]] - two ways to connect live about NVC

[[NVC Research Circle]] - NVC Research Information

[[NVC USA Project]] - planned the '06 NVC USA conference [[Compassion In Action]], may do another

[[American Summer Festival]] planning

==News==
*'''Description:''' [[CNVC Office Manager Position]] 3/08.
*About the '''[[CNVC Office Move]]''' from LA to ABQ.

==People using the wiki==
Photos and words - [[People using the wiki]]

</div>

[[de:]]
[[fr:]]

Talk:CIA Session Summary

2009-03-16T10:05:46Z

Nvcwikiop: New page: --~~~~ removed content as request by John T. Houk foundations@nhf.org . If there is a request to add again, please discuss here ....

--[[User:Nvcwikiop|Nvcwikiop]] 11:05, 16 March 2009 (CET)
removed content as request by John T. Houk foundations@nhf.org .
If there is a request to add again, please discuss here ....

CIA Session Summary

2009-03-16T10:04:08Z

Nvcwikiop:

This is a summary of all the recorded sessions at the Compassion in Action 2006 event in Oakland, CA. I have made an attempt to classify each session under a single descriptive title, merely to meet needs for clarity and learning. Question can be embedded in this to clarify action items, timeframes, responsibilities, and circle membership. The titles which I describe below include:

== NVC Community Support ==

These sessions involved trainings or brainstorming about how to build stronger NVC training programs in the local communities. These sessions dealt addressing conflict, fundraising, coaching as a career, building a corporate training practice, finding Spanish language resources, marketing NVC workshops, retaining trainees, researching NVC effectiveness, building an organization, and listening to feedback about what might better support the local NVC communities. If each of these developed into web pages for detailed information about these support subjects through the efforts of one or more people, needs for progress, contribution and effectiveness might be met accross the NVC-USA Project.

'''Conflict in NVC Communities''' (Kit Miller) â€“ With 30 people attending, it was acknowledged that there had been a great deal of pain in building NVC communities, which also may not have met needs for ease, efficiency, and valuing oneself. The session included a wish for learning that these conflicts are normal, and that resources be made available for those communities and individuals struggling through an NVC community conflict. Small groups thought about typical issues and brainstormed strategies for prevention and resolution. The conflict issues and resolution strategies are listed in the notes. There was general commitment to carry some of these strategies forward.
<nowiki>a) Is anyone willing to take leadership in this area? Kit Miller?
b) Can we get this list put up on an official page for NVC Communities?</nowiki>

'''Fundraising in Harmony with NVC''' (Lynn McMullen) â€“ Participant needs around fundraising may have included inspiration, action, coordination, integrity, competence, growth, effectiveness, support, and a combination of meaning and financial security. Some suggestions and specific opportunities (Scholarship for Peace) were mentioned and some resources as links were provided. Linda did some training on a needs met from giving and receiving: freedom, trust, contribution, inspiration, hope, and sense of community. People give through you (not to you). Inspire others by telling them what inspires you! Some time was also spent discussing how CNVC supports fundraising through projects. Also there was a discussion about major gifts in $1,000-5,000 range versus large gifts and grants. Then a suggestion was made: carry request list and make requests of everyone. Finally a description of how to make a request for funds was provided.

'''NVC Coaching as a Career''' (Bob Gailer) â€“ Several people who have been using NVC in coaching were participants who shared their own experiences, while others were looking at making NVC a career, and may have wanted guidance and support. Some ideas provided by Bob to help create and grow a coaching business. Self doubt is a common experience, of coaches.

'''NVC Heretics''' â€“ The Loyal Opposition (John Abbe and Lisa-Marie) â€“ Maybe this was an empathy session for the troups in the trenches relative to their dealings with the NVC community and the CNVC organization. Issues raised and maybe discussed included competition among trainers, voice to local communities, language, staff giraffe training, what MBR said did not reflect what was seen in Israel, sociocracy, lack of trust and caring in community, certification process, whether the NVC community uses NVC in their conflicts, shifting from what isnâ€™t working to what can work, and needs for honesty, responsive support, and trust. Choice among these issues to focus on was certification. Suggested what can work:
* Trainer training for skill building and competence;
* Multiple pre-assessment paths;
* Some way to assess skill level that is more than certified or not;
* Would like subjective criteria in certification packet translated into observables;
* Involve the assessees in the assessment process (i.e. allow assessees to assess themselves);
* Guidelines on the web about sharing NVC is appreciated;
* Assessee helps set the criteria for assessment; and
* NVC trademark protection through a certification process will increase value associated with name recognition.

'''Spanish-Language NVC Resources''' (Saundra Thomas) â€“ The new Spanish translation of â€œCommunicacion no violenta: un lenguaje de vidaâ€ was announced to be available now. Several resources were provided:
# A search of CNVC.org web site for the word â€˜spanishâ€™
# Published material: [http://www.comunicacionnoviolenta.com/recursos.html] and [http://www.cnvargentina.com.ar/que_es_cnv.htm]
# Links to NVC supporters in: Mexico, Columbia, Argentina, Costa Rica, and Spain
# Mexico/MÃ©xico/mx, MÃ©xico City, Instituto Luz sobre Luz, office 55 52 11 33 46 525552113346, fax 5555532158 525555532158, web site: [http://www.instituto-de-lo-sagrado.org], email
# Argentina/ar, Buenos Aires, CNV Argentina, web site: [http://www.cnvargentina.com.ar] b. e-mail
# Spain/EspaÃ±a/Espanya/Espainia/Espanha/es, Madrid, La ComunicaciÃ³n No Violenta en EspaÃ±a, home 91 287 4890 0034 912874890, mobile 675839820 0034 616244229, web site: [http://www.comunicacionnoviolenta.com/], e-mail

'''NVC in the Corporate World''' (Ann Salsburg) â€“ Ann shared experience of teaching management trainers at Wells Fargo Bank, but there was no follow up. Others also shared their experiences to address questions raised by participants. Some of suggestions included:
* Charge $2,000 to $10,000 per day.
* Build contract collaboratively by asking questions like: â€œWhat is it you want me to talk about? What do you need to hear from me now to move forward?â€
* Do a needs analysis with focus on relationships.
* Sell empathy and communication without pissing others off to hospitals, especially to nurses.
* Be persistent and expect challenges before success.
* Emphacize needs, not feelings, especially with bankers.
* Use street language.
* Use live actors in the trainings.
* Pursue mediation opportunities in union-management negotiations.
* Break down into small groups.
* Make personal connections to get the contract.
* Sociocracy training may represent an opportunity.
* Pursue opportunities in planning mergers and organizational restructuring.
* Use â€œSoftware for Your Head: Protocols for Effective Teamsâ€ to reduce feeling words to sad, mad or glad.
* Article by Marshall on NVC in corporations: Group Facilitation Magazine.
* Check out Betweenthelines.com by Meri Walker who is teaching NVC in corporations.
* Offer weekend trainings.
* Try making offerings for free to build value.
* Read articles at http://www.leadershipthatworks.com/Articles/Articles%20Home.htm
* Possibility of continuing conversations by phone.

'''How Do I Market My NVC Workshop?''' â€“ Advertisement does not pay, but word of mouth is very efficient. Make 10 to 40 minute presentations to existing groups or do shows on local TV stations. Use examples relevant to people in group. Offer discounts if someone brings someone. Practice groups and regular trainings are key. Contact no-shows by phone.

'''Retention of Learners of NVC''' (Mary MacKenzie) â€“ Observation is that a large percentage of persons exposed to basic courses in NVC do not engage in further learning. Concern is that large amount of practice and study is needed for fluency and NVC consciousness. One participant had ideas for retention: a) a clear sequence of courses and trainings, b) several different types of intensive non-residential trainings, c) a variety of single session topical workshops, and d) a monthly newsletter. Actions included:
* Ask BayNVC and CNVC if they have any retention information they could share through NVC Research Committee (Mary MacKenzie); and
* Send out request to Friends of CNVC and/or other NVC listservs to see if there is someone who would enjoy asking various NVC centers to share any retention data they have through the NVC Research Committee (Jane Connor).

'''NVC Research for Dummys''' (Tom Caruso) â€“ Tom explained why you might want to do research and how you might proceed. Reasons include validating NVC to others and supporting growth of NVC, finishing a PhD, or just determining whether a training did what you wanted it to do, and how you might improve your training. He suggest that you find a mentor or someone to do the research for you who has degree in psychology, communications or sociology with experience in evaluation. He spoke about several specific research projects he is doing in Christiansburg, VA and San Diego, CA as examples, and explained the mission of the NVC Research Committee: to increase peer-reviewed publications on NVC research by supporting people who want to do NVC research. Tom indicated that at http://cnvc.org/nvc-research.htm there are several surveys and other resources for researchers.

'''NVC Organization from Scratch''' â€“ A list of action steps were provided including:
* Develop mission statement;
* Create contact list database with name, phone, address, email (ask CNVC for mailing list of people in your area);
* Build a Board of Directors to include those that have passion and are willing to take action to build the organization;
* Find task leaders for fund raising, volunteer coordinator, database, website, marketing;
* Form a Yahoo Group to get the word out, facilitate discussions, etc.;
* Build web site to provide a central location for event/class schedule and information;
* Provide an electronic newsletter;
* Create a fund raising plan and raise some money (1) Sell t-shirts, CD or DVD's, (2) Donations at events, and (3) Angel investors;
* A 501C3 is needed when you start collecting donations, or you can collect through organizations like the National Heritage Foundation;
* Put out wish list for skills and services; and
* Offer regular intros challenging people to bring new people to these.

== Sharings and Connections ==

This topic includes sessions that seemed to involve a lot of group sharing about what was personally alive for them. These sessions dealt with working with people with strong political, religious, race and class opinions, the desire for a sustainable community, challenges of working in schools, protective use of force issues, relationships among men, and difficulties of participant experiences with open space during the conference. Many offered hope and strategies following discussions of needs. It seems that many of these areas could develop into support areas in which specialists might develop to lead empathy circles for those struggling with these issues.

'''Breaking Down Race and Class Divides''' (Miki Kashtan) â€“ Sharing of some needs around this issue of race and class divides maybe meeting needs for connection and being heard, and experiences that have worked possibly meeting needs for hope. Brainstorming of ideas about how to break down race and class divides possibly meeting needs for inspiration. Question of how do we come up with leaders in this area?

'''Living in Sustainable Community''' â€“ Participants wanted to share feelings, needs, visions, and dreams. Needs that would be met by living in a sustainable community included support, shared values and interests, closeness, community, growth, support of others (elders and addicts), commitment to working through issues, ease, honesty, and empathy. Specific community opportunities were mentioned (contact lucy@baynvc.org for DC/Virginia communities, also Port Townsend, WA community called Kees Kloff with 10 acres open to NVC, and Willits, CA community) as an example of current opportunities. Some participants may experience fear about making a commitment to a group. Challenges of such communities were raised. An event and several websites and other media mentioned to support people interested in sustainable communities.

'''Making American Political Life Wonderful Through NVC OR Applying NVC to Politics''' (Drew Johnson) â€“ Individuals talked about their own experiences and the needs met or, more often, not met. Seemed like participants may have had need for empathy regarding their experience of politics today, as well as NVC experiences they have had concerning politics. I wonder where the empathy team was for this session?

'''Tracking the Educational Evolution''' (Sura Hart and Adrian Reznik) â€“ Some history about the NVC in Schools project was first shared, and Suraâ€™s specific experience at a Charter School in LA for which an attempt was made to transform the view from â€œpower-overâ€ to sharing a consciousness of needs in which everyoneâ€™s needs are cared for equally supporting children, parents and educators. Sura explained the challenges considering this was a young, unstable organization with educators needing much empathy. Sura explained the biggest challenges, conditions needed for realizing the paradigm shift in education, and emerging programs in schools. Currently ongoing resources mentioned including:
* NVC Online Ed Group and Regional NVC Educatorsâ€™ dialogues
* 5-Day Summer Teacher Institute expanding to three sessions
* Boulder Creek Academy in Northern Idaho expanding to 65 students looking for NVC practitioners, teachers, counselors, therapists, etc. (marjorie.timms@uhsinc.com)

'''Protective Use of Force and Civil Disobedience''' (Clark Foerster) â€“ Clark shared learnings about ignoring information and the impact it has had in history. He wants to be screaming in Giraffe about needs of all beings, and alerting others to how specific strategies may not meet these needs. Clark wants to see more transformatic actions that change the structural nature of relationships altering the course of possibilities. Civil disobedience may be a strategy for screaming in Giraffe to stop government decisions which do not meet the needs of the world community. Gandhi used as example, and much more. Discussion followed to express sadness triggered by limited discussion on NVCSocialChange listserv because needs for connection and community were not being met. Some expressed fears that potential employers were using web-based information to make hiring decisions, so putting information on the web did not meet their need for safety. Ended with possible action to address security in the discussion group to have further online discussion.

'''Men Laughing and Crying''' (Marc Scruggs) â€“ This man yearns connection with men in a respecting and empathic environment. Menâ€™s groups donâ€™t meet this need, but he has a vision that a group of men using NVC would meet his needs. Relates his own experience with becoming a new father again, maybe needing empathy for needs associated with his relationships with his father and daughter. Heâ€™s clearly wanting to be a father that meets the needs of his children for nurturing and support, i.e. being a â€˜good parentâ€™. Furthermore when he thinks about his relationships with men he sometimes feels scared and overwhelmed, I wonder if he needs to feel valuable as a male? Heâ€™s afraid of anger, maybe because he likes control? Heâ€™s confused about why he doesnâ€™t take action which Iâ€™m guessing is related to his needs for integrity and self-value. Others who heard this expressed hope that this clarity of his needs might stimulate him to take action in the future. His vision is that men can transform strategies of starting wars, polluting the environment, etc. into constructive strategies.
* Does Marc have a specific and doable request?
* Provide Marc with information about Mankind Project which could easily incorporate NVC in its processes, including regular meetings. (Tom Caruso)

'''Bringing NVC to S.U.V. America: A Brainstorm''' (Drew Johnson) â€“ Unmet needs of participants may have been safety, ease, authenticity, integrity, contribution, and empathy. To support these needs, participants shared experiences in which NVC was used to communicate with â€˜conservativeâ€™ individuals. One participant explained their strategy to illustrate NVC with Christian teachings. Participants also asked about how our patterns with NVC affect our ability to communicate with SUV America. This included the special words required by NVC and how trainers either want participants to come to them, or if they go out to the community. Convener provided additional backup material on the website including an illustrative example, a discussion about NVC relative to levels of consciousness (i.e. Ken Wilber philosophy), notes from Speaking Peace in World of Conflict by MBR, and translating NVC into languages. Brainstorming then generated the following possible actions:
* Train NVCers to have empathy for S.U.V. America;
* Write material to appeal to Christian fundamentalists;
* Online template for marketing to different groups.

'''Grounding Open Space in NVC Connection''' (Informal at Lunch) â€“ Participants shared about their open space experience, with a sense of loss of connection in large groups and with people we didnâ€™t know before this event, and a sense of loss concerning the purpose and theme of the conference. Some suggestions were made for future open space meetings:
# Use dyads in large group session, especially the first one;
# Invite other strategies for connection to the purpose and to each other before sessions are offerred;
# Plan only one day at a time;
# Provide structured activity for connection and self-connection; and
# Use some group games.

Regarding the above passage: A 501C3 is needed when you start collecting donations, or you can collect through organizations like the National Heritage Foundation;

== NVC Trainings ==

These sessions were clearly trainings provided by one or two trainers in which a specific NVC-based skill was being conveyed. The trainers taught about how to maximize your leadership potential, savoring needs and values, interactive NVC introductions, slowing the NVC process, transforming Jackal Mind into a spiritual gift, and parenting. Each of these could be produced as courses for the NVC Academy to support trainers.

'''Unleashing Your Power as an NVC Leader''' (Miki and Inbal Kashtan) â€“ Ask two simple questions: (1) What is your biggest vision of yourself that taps into the place where we know who we are and what we can bring into the world? And (2) What is one message why I canâ€™t transform it? Then use NVC to tap into feelings and needs in that message by using a specific instance. Use a partner or a triad.

'''Savoring Your Own Needs & Values''' (Met or Unmet) â€“ Discussed shifting attention from whether needs are met or not to experiencing the power and aliveness of your needs. This session was videorecorded and is on NVC Live, but no notes were posted.

'''Interactive Intros and Communication Tube''' (Jean) â€“ Description of an interactive introduction to NVC.
<nowiki>â€¢ Email description of circular model to represent NVC (Jean)</nowiki>

'''Slowing the Process''' â€“ Explanation of needs met by slowing down the training process, as well as strategies for slowing the process. This method uses body awareness, body language, energy level, what is going on with yourself vs. what is going on with someone else, and awareness of our responsibility for what we experience.

'''Transforming the Jackal Mind Deep Structure and Spirituality''' (Robert Gonzales; Recorded for NVC Live on NVC Academy) â€“ Robert, who in my judgement may have been the clearest analytical thinker about NVC, described the structure and content of the mind as two dimensions operating in jackal thinking. The structure has constant quality while the content is variable changing with circumstance. Robert notices that with many people, even with efforts to connect with the feelings and needs behind the jackal, jackal thinking persists, i.e. reemerges with specific stimuli. So Robert recommends a deep analysis of the jackal and its â€˜beliefsâ€™, which are the result of a direct experience and an interpretation. My reading is that Robert went deep into the psychological importance of needs. Understanding these two components of mind is important for this deep analysis: STRUCTURE of Mind: Mediated experience, thoughts, fundamentally empty and with no life, and though they convey meaning they are meaningful by themselves, causing striving and identification with content, thereby limiting our experience; and CONTENT of Mind: Notions of self, life and others, that â€œI am not good enoughâ€, â€œsomething is wrong with me,â€ â€œI donâ€™t matter,â€ etc. and that there is not enough time, money, love, etc. or life is a struggle and painful. Robert says exchanging one belief like â€œI am unworthyâ€ with another like â€œI am OKâ€ does not stop the mind from striving for outer fulfillment. Instead, gradually authentically connect to presence, care, compassion, and clarity from consciousness of these patterns. Follow these steps:
* Pick a common pattern.
* Spell out the OFNR.
* Illuminate the jackals.
* Identify the core belief under the jackal thinking.
* Notice how it feels in your body.
* What need is not met when connected to this core belief?
* Then connect with the beauty of that need by (1) remembering a time the need was fulfilled, (2) imagining a time in future when the need might be met, or (3) examing the quality of the unmet need from present experience.
* How do you feel in the energy of this need? What is your physical experience, or your thinking and understanding?
* Either address the need with a strategy OR just enjoy encountering the beauty of the need, as an end in itself.

'''Parenting''' (Inbal Kashtan) â€“ Discussed the question: why is parenting with NVC is so challenging? Participants want to contribute to, to trust in choices of their children will develop independence and wellbeing, to support, to be inspired and to inspire, to come from compassion, to respect each other mutually, and to believe that the child is and will be safe from harm.
* Inbal wants parents to have compassion for themselves so that they may be free of judgements. Compassion for self is a gift to child. This is our biggest challenge. Sura shared that for her NVC is about being authentic about her own needs and having a sense that the needs of children matter. Inbal also mentioned the foundation of transforming from domination to partnership paradigm to impress upon children that their needs matter.
* Observation was made that children have much less access to external resources like food, legal system, etc. and we use this power over children because we feel helpless to meet our needs relative to them. Trust leads to partnership and power with.
* In discussing that boundaries are a strategy serving trust, safety and ease, the idea that NVC improves our attention to our needs and our childs needs, creating a strategy that meets both as opposed to meeting just our needs or the childs needs.
* Protective force maybe better called unilateral force, unless I am talking about meeting safety needs.
* Hold on to Your Kid, Alfie Kohn but he has not completely shifted to power with.

== Possible Subprojects ==

These sessions are potential Subproject opportunities for the NVC USA Project if a leaders and circles can be defined for them. The sessions included promoting NVC a la Gandhi and MLK, marketing NVC, selling training globally to the Mankind Project and Women Within, marketing NVC workshops, expanding NVC mediation, creating an NVC EcoVillage, developing the Southern CA Regional NVC Network, integrating arts education with NVC, connecting playback theatre and NVC, and developing online NVC training. Some of these are already forming circles (such as the Southern CA Regional NVC Network) but specific support from the NVC USA Project might encourage these projects which could have an important impact on expansion of NVC in the US.

'''Nonviolent Action a la Gandhi and MLK''' (Lee Tuley) â€“ Lots of needs being unmet as the result of violence in the world â€“ need for the well-being of all people, effectiveness, efficiency, being heard, respect for human life, communication, compassion, empathy, authenticity, understanding by others, nurturing, action, and personal growth â€“ and many suggestions for nonviolent strategies:
* Help Michael Nagler distribute his new book.
* Support Michael Nagler and David Harzog in a civil disobedience action on Sept 21, 2006 to request complete withdrawal of all US troops from Iraq by that date, but be careful that you may be trying to dominate the domination system.
* Herald true heros that give contributions to the community.
* Let go of the ego.
* Send copies of Inconvenient Truth.
* Support clean money in November elections in California (www.CAclean.org and www.cleanmoneyelections.org).
* Announce and invite coming together of groups on 9/11 to celebrate the 100 year anniversary of Ghandiâ€™s first nonviolent action (Terri to announce to CompassionInActionUSA participants, DONE?, others putting out on Craigâ€™s list, WAACO, and other online forums).
* Go to fundamentalist churchs, get empathy from those you can for your needs, and give empathy to those at these churches.
* Love what is.
* Be creative and peaceful in political process.

'''Marketing NVC''' (Dennis McMann) â€“ Idea was to bring NVC to the development of a marketing message for different target communities. Targets suggested included youth, yoga teachers and students, church congregations, law enforcement, school children, parents, prisoners, Native Americans, Spanish-speaking people, couples, teachers, school administrators, mediators, social and pyschological therapists, psychiatrists, nurses, physicians, hospital administrators, political and peace activists, business people, conservative religious groups, crisis support centers, social services, and people interested in healing, natural foods, or personal growth. These were divided into those with the same language and those who have a barrier due to the language. Specific efforts were made in dyads to define needs of some of these groups and even strategies for accessing them. These groups included Native Americans, disenfrancised NVC participants (the hanger-arounds and the walk-awayers), therapists, parents
* Establish a name for NVC that everyone can agree on. This issue of the NVC name came up twice in the notes, as it did in other session on marketing of NVC, with the concern that the name does not clearly communicate the message about something that people need.
* Develop worksheet for each name of group identified with the following columns: (1) Indentified needs NVC could meet for this group, (2) Benefits NVC can achieve/offer to meet these needs, and (3) Message words to describe these benefits in understandable terms by members of this group. Who is leading this?
* What about creating a resource with needs/strategies/tools for the NVC USA Wiki for each target group? Who would lead this?

'''National Training Opportunity: Mankind Project & Women Within''' (Tom Caruso) â€“ The Mankind Project and Women Within were described and discussed as an international training opportunity for increasing exposure of male and female leaders in the world to NVC. Briefly these programs are based on Jungian ideas of how to gain cognitive understanding of deep psychological patterns of behaviors. Throughout their processes they teach the use of a clear communication structure (data, similar to observation, judgements, feelings, and wants, similar to strategies) missing only needs. Tom has connected to leaders in the Greater Carolina Center of MKP, but does not have the expertise to provide the quality of training he would like. He also thinks that other centers could also be approached, but needs men who have gone through the MKP New Warrior Training Adventure (see www.mkp.org).
* Find connections for Bob Gailer (Bay Area MKP, DONE), Pan Camberlin (Seattle MKP) and Holly Eckert (Seattle WW) (Tom Caruso)
* Look up WW and see if there is interest in pursuing this training opportunity (Holly Eckert, DONE â€“ Yes she is pursuing)

'''How Do I Market My NVC Workshop?''' â€“ Advertisement is helpful to build brand awareness about NVC, but most effective when done at national level. The action agreed to was:
* Put together a national marketing circle to urge CNVC to take responsibility for building awareness of NVC, and create a mechanism for funding this effort (Possible Project); and
* Establish a name for NVC that everyone can agree on.

'''NVC Eco Village''' (Upgeya Pew) â€“ Upgeya used this opportunity to explain the the Six-Fold Pathway for Social Evolution and Community Development. Everyone contributed to visioning of an NVC Eco Village. Some participants shared grief around not meeting needs that would be met by the community envisioned. Two gathering opportunities mentioned: (1) Circles of Hope gatherings in NY (August) and CA (September) of people interested in sustainable community with an NVC component, and (2) Findhorn 30 day intensive in February about creating an eco-village. Several actions were offerred by participants:
* Email everyone and organize a phone conference to take place around two weeks from now (July 10th; Barbara); and
* Email everyone the web address for the NVC Sustainable Community yahoo group where everyone can share.

'''Southern California Regional NVC Network Visioning''' (Rodger Sorrow) â€“ Questions raised included (1) whether setting up a nonprofit would be worthwhile, (2) whether S CA might be divided up into four quarters, (3) whether a Yahoo group might be useful, (4) whether they might just be a program within the existing CNVC nonprofit organization, (5) what might be actions associated with Interdependence Day in September, (6) do they want to use open space technology, (7) would an association of trainers and leaders meet needs of those participating, (8) would it be helpful to have an inner administrative circle with other circles around it for newsletters, trainings, practice groups, etc.? All agreed that consent would be used over consensus. An agenda for a specific event was considered and concerns were expressed concerning structure and intentions. Some actions included:
* Create a core administrative circle.
* Offer empathy within the trainer and administrative circles.
* Harvest information from other networks: (1) connect with Kit Miller at BayNVC (Rodger), and (2) connect with Barbara Larson from PSNCC (Kathi Aichner).
* Schedule an event (Deborah Gibson).
* Establish the present group as the core, and trust that inclusion needs will be met for others wanting to participate in the core.
* Explore program relationship with CNVC.
* Will provide paperwork for 501C3 from New Mexico (Jim Manske)
* Gather information about different groups in county that want to join the this organization, such that a regional network might develop from individual county circles. (All)

'''Expanding NVC Mediation in the USA''' (Ike Lassiter & John Kenyon) â€“ After scattered comments, participants described their experience and interests in mediation and then Ike and John described their training model. Then the group began to brainstorm and discuss how to expand mediation in the U.S. Some of the actions suggested were:
* Present at societies of mediators to teach the mediation community including lawyers and academics about NVC mediation;
* Get information out to marriage and family therapists as a strategy that they might suggest to their clients;
* Bring NVC into the accepted methodologies of mediation through academic connections;
* Post continuing education application on CompassionInActionUSA.org website (Ike); and
* Send mediation training brochure used with NM Bar that had MCLEs (Jori/Jane, DONE).

'''Connecting Playback Theater and NVC''' â€“ How playback is used with NVC was explained at this session, and a particular example was used to demonstrate it. Actions were to:
* Made list of people who want to be on a playback/NVC listserv

'''Arts Education and Expressive Therapies in NVC''' (Marjorie Timms) â€“ Descriptions of current and recent practices, and strategies/tools for experiencing the arts in the context of NVC. Several warm-up exercises with sound, movement and fluid sculpture. Actions were to:
<nowiki>a) Create NVC-based school in Northern Idaho for teens using NVC and arts integration and infusion (Marjorie; looking for others interested);
b) Explore NVC connection to Playback Theatre by forming a Yahoo group (Marjorie/Lynn/Mark Roberts/12 others);
c) develop parent/child performance piece, NVC workshops and initiate a national tour in 2008;
d) explore NVC connection with arts education of home-schooled children;
e) develop NVC for elementary children labeled as â€˜emotionally/behaviorally challengedâ€™;
f) discover parent/child connection through the arts.</nowiki>

'''Online NVC Training''' (No Session Notes) â€“ This convener is excited about the possibilities to augment face-to-face trainings with online integration and follow-up, to create online trainings for organizations, to enhance NVC learning through exposure to large number of NVC trainers worldwide, and to reach people outside of the usual NVC target communities.

== Novel Techniques that Enhance or Use NVC ==

These sessions involved techniques that can be combined or integrated with NVC to make them both more effective. These included chants for experiencing unconditional love (Angel Wash), focusing more on body awareness, meditating increasing compassion and love, using NVC online, applying NVC principles in psychotherapy, using NVC as basis of playback theatre, manifesting need satisfaction, and building community. These novel approaches are exciting, meeting needs for creativity and connection with others who may have more familiarity with chants, meditation, email, theatre, intentional creation, and community building.

'''Angel Wash''' (Mair) â€“ An experience sharing non-verbal unconditional love with singing, meeting needs for presence, self-expression, nurturing, connection, giving, and spiritual grounding.

'''Learning Your Bodyâ€™s Language: Creating an Intensity Continuum''' (Megan Eoyang) â€“ Description of a technique for using body awareness for self empathy. Exercises were provided to experience this technique.
* Put Intensity Continuum forms on Compassion in Action website (Meganwind)

'''Meditation to Draw in the Energy of Compassion and Love''' (Nana Dunn) â€“ Know it happenned but there are no notes.
* Could we get links to material she read?

'''Online Applications of NVC''' (Drew Johnson) â€“ People came with the following needs: healing, continued connection after geographic separation, and effectiveness at connecting online. Participants explained some of the problems and issues unique to communicating online, and some ideas to solve them.

'''NVC and Psychotherapy''' (Jim Hussey) â€“ Discussed how to use to create empathic space in therapy with some direction, and how this was like NVC. If intention is to facilitate needs and desires of participant, then alternative tools that did not evaluate and did not have an agenda were empathic. Legal issues were addressed maybe for those without licensing as therapists, and this can be addressed using the idea of coaching or empathy. Other resources and specific tools mentioned were:
* Traumatic Incident Reduction and Metapsychology (http://tira.org)
* Emotion Freedom Technique (http://emofree.com)
* Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
* Article by Wayland Meyers on NVC and Addictive Behaviors

'''Playback Theatre in NVC''' (Lynn and Mark) â€“ Explanations and demonstrations provided of use of sound, movement, free play, morphing objects, passing objects, warm-up exercises, treatment of suggestions from the audience, examination of metaphors and literal sense of words, fluid sculpture in response to tellerâ€™s request or story, treatment of each story as a gift, and question at end about whether the gift was acceptable. Specific actions or next steps proposed included:
* Connect via NVC/Playback Yahoo Group;
* Explore ways Playback can be used in NVC and check back via NVC/Playback Yahoo Group;
* Develop their own Playback Theatre companies (June and Mark)
* Develop Playback Theatre/NVC in education and community-building (Marjorie)
* Contacts for training schedules, events, and materials (Jonathan Fox, Jo Salas, and Playback Theatre International)

'''The Sixfold Path of Community Building''' (Upgeya Pew) â€“ Upgeya explained his version of the Sixfold Model of Contegrity created by Ken Ambender. This path, which is naturally not ordered in real life is:
* CONNECTION: All projects start with our relationship to ourselves and others.
* CONCEPTION: Only together can we create the conditions that enliven our imagination.
* CONDITIONING: Implementation requires a clarity about what resources are required.
* CREATION: We take action to create our dreams.
* CELEBRATION (and MOURNINGS): We express gratitude and mourn the losses.
* CONTRIBUTION: We contribute to new people and culture around us.

'''The Art and Science of Manifesting''' (Melanie Sears) â€“ Melanie shared her learning inspired by the book â€œExcuse me, your life is waitingâ€ by Lynn Grabhorn. These techniques when added to NVC leads to getting needs met. Each person shared their dreams, and addressed what needs might be met and how that would feel. Matthew said we should breathe into the feelings to help remember the needs when they come up again. Alternatively we can counter negative judgement by expressing self appreciation daily for 30 days. Resources mentioned included:
* A movie, "the secret", http://whatisthesecret.tv,
* A book, "Ask and It Is Given" (http://www.askanditisgiven.com) by Esther and Jerry Hicks.
* A website by Christopher Westra, http://www.icreatereality.com
* A book, "The Art of Possibility" (http://www.benjaminzander.com/book)

Administration News

2008-05-19T09:05:55Z

Nvcwikiop:

2008/05/19
* installed mediawiki release 1.11.2 on de/fr/en wiki versions, if there are problems please report
[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/01/09
*installed mediawiki release 1.5.5, had some problems with "You have new messages" if username contains space.
*added some urls to SpamFilter

[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/01/16
* added net4free\.org, 20six\.fr, lima-city\.de, 20six\.nl to spam filter

[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/01/18
* added mp3\.com, buddy4u\.com to spam filter

[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/02/01
* installed de/fr/en wiki. Available at en.nvcwiki.com, de.nvcwiki.com, fr.nvcwiki.com. Also configured interwiki links (interlanguage) at the left menu.

[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/02/13
* added 20six\.de, pharmacy-health\.org, www\.allworldbuy\.com, www\.xlsite\.com, meds\.airmode\.de to spam filter

[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/02/20
* added home\.tiscali\.cz, www\.multiweb\.cz, www\.vacant\.infobox\.ru to spam filter
[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/02/22
* implemented a SpecialPage which wrapps the cgiirc chat system, the username of the current login will be forwarded
[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/03/09
* switched logo of main page, logo suggestions still running [[NVC_Wiki_design]]
[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/04/03
* upgrated to mediawiki 1.5.8, bugfix release
[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/04/20
* added cyox\.de, www\.chenado\.info to spam filter
[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/05/04
* deduska\.info, webkostenlos\.de, webhosting4free\.org to spam filter
[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/05/22
* installed mediawiki 1.6.6 and updated SpamBlacklist
* enabled file upload for images
[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/05/26
* added interwiki link to wikipedia in fr.nvcwiki.com prefix "wp:"
[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/06/01
* added "$wgFileExtensions = array( 'png', 'jpg', 'jpeg', 'pdf' );" to LocalSettings.php to allow pdf uploads
[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

Internet Relay Chat

2008-05-19T09:04:20Z

Nvcwikiop: removed chat plugin, switched to new wiki version and less used

Internet Relay Chat (IRC) is a live, instant messaging system that requires no registration. Much of the time there is someone into [[NVC]] on IRC who might enjoy giving you empathy, helping with questions about the wiki, or just connecting.

There's also standalone software for IRC, here's what we recommend for different systems (to get to the channel with these systems, here's the server: irc.freenode.net and channel: #NVC):

* Mac - [http://colloquy.info/ Colloquy]
* Windows - [http://www.mirc.com/get.html mIRC], [https://www.ceruleanstudios.com/ Trillian],
* Linux - [http://www.kvirc.net kvirc], ksirc
* Cross-platform:
** [http://www.mozilla.org/projects/rt-messaging/chatzilla/ Chatzilla] (on all three, and lets you click on this link to connect: irc://irc.freenode.net#nvc )
** [http://gaim.sourceforge.net/downloads.php GAIM] (Linux and Windows)

Note: You might find that clicking on Chat doesn't work as well as other methods suggested here. If you use the free [[Open software|open source]] and "Best of Class" [http://www.mozilla.com/firefox/ Firefox] web browser, you might prefer the free open source [http://www.mozilla.org/projects/rt-messaging/chatzilla/ Chatzilla] plugin. It opens a new window leaving your browser window as-is, and it has many helpful features.

NVC in Business

2008-04-27T08:56:46Z

Nvcwikiop: spam

Hello visitor and welcome to this nvc in business page.
Please check discussion page.--[[User:Pierre-Marie|Pierre-Marie]] 15:31, 16 June 2006 (CEST)

Materials

2008-04-27T08:55:58Z

Nvcwikiop: spam

[[CNVC]]'s store: http://cnvc.org/matls.htm

Free written materials from CNVC (this page has chapter one of the [[Nonviolent Communication]] book, and in the right column are links to many other materials): http://cnvc.org/bookchap.htm

Puddle Dancer Press (publishes many NVC materials): http://nonviolentcommunication.com/

[[NVC Dance Floors]] offer a way to learn, practise and teach NVC using spatial layouts that represent various NVC processes (eg transforming anger, self empathy, dialogue).

The [[Learner centered differentiation exercises]] are designed to help participants discover some of the core principles of NVC for themselves.

The Emotional Competency website helps people explore the logic of passion. See: http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/

The Life Resources Shop http://www.life-resources-shop.com sells a unique range of English language NVC materials including the NVC Dance Floor materials in English, Danish, Dutch, French, German, Norwegian and Swedish. Also gives contact information for distributors of the NVC Dance Floors in Denmark, North America and Australia

Talk:NVCtalk/tools

2008-01-01T10:28:57Z

Nvcwikiop:

Markus this is for you :)

Thanks :-)

NVCtalk/tools

2008-01-01T10:28:33Z

Nvcwikiop:

This page is dedicated to tools which help to connect people in general and hopefully will help to connect NVC people around the world.

= free calls to the US and Canada =
== earthcaller ==
Earthcaller allows you to call anyone in the USA and Canada, landlines and mobile phones. Calls placed through Earthcaller have no time limit. You will not be billed over the internet through this service, it is completely free.

You will need a microphone to communicate with the phone call recipient.

* Visit http://www.earthcaller.com with internet explorer (doesn't work with firefox)
* It will prompt you to download a small ActiveX component. Accept it.
* Enter a US/Canada Number and press the "Dial Number" button (not the enter key) - you can try 6022007002 (and the echo test number I set up 2062035600 . watch out for any leading or trailing spaces as then it will say it is not a US number.
* if you click on the "dialpad" button you can use the dialpad to enter a conference ID.

Once you click connect you can see the following messages.

Registering to SIP Proxy.
Dialing…
Trying to register.
Registered successfully.
Response: Trying.
Response: Session Progress.
Success to connect.

If only the following messages appear
Registering to SIP Proxy.
Dialing…
Press on the browser "Refrash" and if it askes if to retry then press "Retry".

[http://tutorialninjas.net/2007/07/24/free-voip-calls-to-the-usa-and-canada-landline-and-mobile/ source]

Translation procedure

2007-12-25T18:21:41Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by ClicnAgeto (Talk); changed back to last version by 87.67.168.195

=== General ===

# A text in a Source language is translated by a '''Target-language translator '''who is very familiar with NVC language. The translator will endeavour to maintain contact with the author.
# The Target text is reviewed by a '''Source-language translator '''who is very familiar with NVC language. This Source-language translator points out to the Target-language translator any translation that to her/him appears erroneous and makes change proposals.
# The '''Target-language translator '''incorporates or decides not to incorporate the suggestions of the Source-language translator and produces a Revision.
# The Revision is sent to a '''Target-language expert '''who is very familiar with NVC language and does not need to have any knowledge of the Source language. She/he checks the text for readability and NVC language and makes change proposals to the Target-language translator.
# The '''Target-language translator '''produces a Final Draft for publication.

=== Example ===

# A text in English is translated by a '''French-speaking translator '''who is very familiar with NVC language.
# The French is reviewed by an '''English-speaking''' '''translator '''who is very familiar with NVC language. This English-speaking translator points out to the French-speaking translator any translation that to her/him appears erroneous and makes change proposals.
# The '''French-speaking translator '''incorporates or decides not to incorporate the suggestions of the English translator and produces a Revision.
# The Revision is sent to a '''French-speaking expert '''who is very familiar with NVC language and does not need to have any knowledge of the Source language. She/he checks the text for readability and NVC language and makes change proposals to the French-speaking translator.
# The '''French-speaking translator '''produces a Final Draft for publication.

''Put in line with the help of [http://www.godfreyspencer.com Godfrey] and Bob's [http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/WikipÃ©dia:Macro_Open_Office#Mise_Ã _jour_de_Septembre_2004 WikipÃ©dia:Macro OpenOffice.org], and [[:fr:ProcÃ©dure de traduction|translated]] into french with difficulty by --[[User:Dieudo|DieudonnÃ©]] 18:13, 21 February 2006 (CET)''

[[fr:ProcÃ©dure de traduction]]
[[Category:Translation in progress]]

Songs

2007-12-15T19:19:23Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by CnareLdomv (Talk); changed back to last version by Nvcwikiop

This page contains a collection of songs that people use for [[remembering|rememberings]] or that somehow illustrate specific aspects of [[NVC]].

* A [[See Me Beautiful|Song]] out of [[See Me Beautiful]] by Red and Kathy Grammer
* [http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/withgod.html With God on our Side] by Bob Dylan

Internet Relay Chat

2007-12-13T12:09:50Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by RicbaSzelc (Talk); changed back to last version by Conal

Internet Relay Chat (IRC) is a live, instant messaging system that requires no registration. Much of the time there is someone into [[NVC]] on IRC who might enjoy giving you empathy, helping with questions about the wiki, or just connecting. You can use the web interface here - if you would like to get in contact with others live, just click "Chat!" If that doesn't automatically work, you might try the "Chatzilla" method described below.

{{special:Chat}}

There's also standalone software for IRC, here's what we recommend for different systems (to get to the channel with these systems, here's the server: irc.freenode.net and channel: #NVC):

* Mac - [http://colloquy.info/ Colloquy]
* Windows - [http://www.mirc.com/get.html mIRC], [https://www.ceruleanstudios.com/ Trillian],
* Linux - [http://www.kvirc.net kvirc], ksirc
* Cross-platform:
** [http://www.mozilla.org/projects/rt-messaging/chatzilla/ Chatzilla] (on all three, and lets you click on this link to connect: irc://irc.freenode.net#nvc )
** [http://gaim.sourceforge.net/downloads.php GAIM] (Linux and Windows)

Note: You might find that clicking on Chat doesn't work as well as other methods suggested here. If you use the free [[Open software|open source]] and "Best of Class" [http://www.mozilla.com/firefox/ Firefox] web browser, you might prefer the free open source [http://www.mozilla.org/projects/rt-messaging/chatzilla/ Chatzilla] plugin. It opens a new window leaving your browser window as-is, and it has many helpful features.

Current events

2007-12-13T08:38:35Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by DeltaVarda (Talk); changed back to last version by Nvcwikiop

'''21st July - 29th July 2007''' EEUN (Eastern European NVC Network) Face-to Face meeting in Poland Milanonwic.

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'''21st July - 29th July 2007''' East-West NVC Advanced Training, Poland Milanowic, contact Ewa Rambala mailto:eva@rambala.hu or Ania Mills for more information!

----

'''20th-26th of March 2008''' 6th Experimental NVC Week "ART OF LIVING TOGETHER", in Estonia, Haapsalu Fra Mare Spa hotel, contact Merike Kahju mailto:merikene@gmail.com.

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NVC USA Next Meeting

2007-12-11T06:48:58Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by EltrdElcot (Talk); changed back to last version by Rick

Next Meeting Agenda Proposal for [[NVC USA Project]]

'''Proposed time / date: Not Set''' 
'''Phone 712-580-7700, conference code: 682872 (NVCUSA)'''

== Agenda ==
* Review [[NVC USA Meeting 15 Jul 2007]] minutes
* Make plans for next step relative to [[2008 NVC Compassion In Action Festival]]
** Review, update and schedule to send Tom's [[First 2008 Conference Email]]

NVC USA Project

2007-12-11T06:48:07Z

Nvcwikiop:

The purpose of the NVC USA Project is to support individuals, communities and networks in living and spreading [[Nonviolent Communication]] in the United States; and to have a positive influence on the United States' interaction with the rest of the world.

Currently, our attention is focused on 2008 version of the [[Compassion In Action]] conference, finding others to organize a future conference, and dreaming up how else we might live our purpose. We [[Invitation to join email list: NVC-USA-Project-Announce |invite]] you to be part of this community.

Notes on the 2006 conference
* [[CIA Session Summary]]
* [[Evaluation Synopsis]]
* [[Attendee Notes]]

Add to the list of resources for [[NVC USA Project Projects]].

----

In addition to this wiki, we're using a mailing list: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NVC-USA-Project

Click the "edit" link at the top of any page to make changes. Contact [[User:John Abbe]] with any questions (or write them here). Note that in this wiki, one creates pages by putting double brackets around some words (rather than SmushingCapitalizedWordsTogether).

If you'd like more information about editing in this wiki,
here's an [http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Help:Editing editing overview] which is the first section in an [http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Help:Editor Editor Guide].

==Recent/future meetings==

* [[NVC USA Next Meeting]] Not Scheduled
* [[NVC USA Meeting 15 Jul 2007]] Sunday, 7-8:30 PM PDT (8 MDT; 9 CDT; 10 EDT)
* [[NVC USA Meeting 27 May 2007]] Sunday, 4-5:30 PDT (5 MDT; 6 CDT; 7 EDT)
* [[NVC USA Meeting 10 Mar 2007]] Saturday, 4-5:30pm PST (begins 5pm Mountain, 6pm Central, 7pm East)
* [[NVC USA Meeting 18 Feb 2007]] Sunday, 4-5:30pm PST (begins 5pm Mountain, 6pm Central, 7pm East)
* [[NVC USA Meeting 10 Jan 2007]] Wednesday, 6-7:30PM PST; 8:00 CST; 9:00 EST
* [[NVC USA Meeting 18 Nov 2006]]
* older meetings: [[Compassion In Action Planning#Previous meeting notes and other archives]]

NVC USA Project

2007-12-11T06:47:06Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by VarpaSlasi (Talk); changed back to last version by OrdomRacdo

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The purpose of the NVC USA Project is to support individuals, communities and networks in living and spreading [[Nonviolent Communication]] in the United States; and to have a positive influence on the United States' interaction with the rest of the world.

Currently, our attention is focused on 2008 version of the [[Compassion In Action]] conference, finding others to organize a future conference, and dreaming up how else we might live our purpose. We [[Invitation to join email list: NVC-USA-Project-Announce |invite]] you to be part of this community.

Notes on the 2006 conference
* [[CIA Session Summary]]
* [[Evaluation Synopsis]]
* [[Attendee Notes]]

Add to the list of resources for [[NVC USA Project Projects]].

----

In addition to this wiki, we're using a mailing list: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NVC-USA-Project

Click the "edit" link at the top of any page to make changes. Contact [[User:John Abbe]] with any questions (or write them here). Note that in this wiki, one creates pages by putting double brackets around some words (rather than SmushingCapitalizedWordsTogether).

If you'd like more information about editing in this wiki,
here's an [http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Help:Editing editing overview] which is the first section in an [http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Help:Editor Editor Guide].

==Recent/future meetings==

* [[NVC USA Next Meeting]] Not Scheduled
* [[NVC USA Meeting 15 Jul 2007]] Sunday, 7-8:30 PM PDT (8 MDT; 9 CDT; 10 EDT)
* [[NVC USA Meeting 27 May 2007]] Sunday, 4-5:30 PDT (5 MDT; 6 CDT; 7 EDT)
* [[NVC USA Meeting 10 Mar 2007]] Saturday, 4-5:30pm PST (begins 5pm Mountain, 6pm Central, 7pm East)
* [[NVC USA Meeting 18 Feb 2007]] Sunday, 4-5:30pm PST (begins 5pm Mountain, 6pm Central, 7pm East)
* [[NVC USA Meeting 10 Jan 2007]] Wednesday, 6-7:30PM PST; 8:00 CST; 9:00 EST
* [[NVC USA Meeting 18 Nov 2006]]
* older meetings: [[Compassion In Action Planning#Previous meeting notes and other archives]]

Current events

2007-12-11T06:46:41Z

Nvcwikiop:

Current events

2007-12-11T06:45:27Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by SiterRelco (Talk); changed back to last version by LimonBoccn

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'''21st July - 29th July 2007''' EEUN (Eastern European NVC Network) Face-to Face meeting in Poland Milanonwic.

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'''21st July - 29th July 2007''' East-West NVC Advanced Training, Poland Milanowic, contact Ewa Rambala mailto:eva@rambala.hu or Ania Mills for more information!

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'''20th-26th of March 2008''' 6th Experimental NVC Week "ART OF LIVING TOGETHER", in Estonia, Haapsalu Fra Mare Spa hotel, contact Merike Kahju mailto:merikene@gmail.com.

----

NVC USA Meeting 27 May 2007

2007-12-11T06:44:47Z

Nvcwikiop:

== Notes from [[NVC USA Project]] meeting Meeting 27 May 2007 ==

'''time / date: Sunday May 27, 2007, 4PM PDT; 7PM EDT''' 
'''Phone 712-580-7700, conference code: 682872 (NVCUSA)'''

'''Attendees: Tom Caruso, Jane Connor, Lisa Goldish, Rick Smith'''

'''Review [[NVC USA Meeting 10 Mar 2007]] minutes''' 
Lisa and Rick signed off on notes Tom published

'''NVC USA 2008 Conference Possibility'''
* [http://www.binghamton.edu/ Binghamton University, NY] in June 20-22, 2008
* At the end of a week long NVC Giraffe Festival

'''Giraffe Festival - history and vision from Jane'''
* got the idea in 2003 -- a gathering of NVC and fun
* liked open space "law of 2 feet" from the [[Compassion In Action]] conference
* summertime - beautiful place to be out
* games
* music and dancing
* community
* family
* possibly be connected to CNVC. Working with Barbara Larson to see if something is possible

'''Advantages of time and place'''
* Lower cost of being at the university in the summer when school is not in session
** Binghamton $70 per person day
** Previous host of [http://www.newyorkintensive.org/ NY Intensive] raised rates to $100 per person day
* Ability to accomodate up to 300 people
* Experience -- Jane is putting on two back to back [http://www.newyorkintensive.org/ intensives] in 2007 there
** local support team of 6 or 7 developing
* Summer time can be an easier time for people to travel

'''Issues and Concerns'''
* If US Project Conference were held stand-alone, would there be enough draw?
** Jane - being coupled with a week long event makes it more likely more people could attend
** Rick had a sense from conversations about trainers and communities, that people would go
** Lisa had a sense from the post conference survey that there's interest
* If it works for Marshall to attend festival, but constrained to spring or fall
** Binghamton would not work because school is in session.
** Giraffe Festival would probably be held elsewhere.
** Might or might not be feasible to have the US Project Conference held in conjunction.

'''Recapping email of Jane's interest'''
# a June festival with Marshall at Binghamton University (would be TOTALLY thrilled!)
# a non-summer festival with Marshall someplace else in the Northeast (Mount St. Adolphus, comes to mind in NY) - would be thrilled
# a summer festival without Marshall (would be very happy)

'''Next Actions'''
* Jane send email to Barbara Larson with vision from this group
** Rick post these notes - Sunday
** Lisa send draft of her hope and vision to [http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NVC-USA-Project yahoogroup] - Monday
** Jane edit and send email to Barbara - Midweek
* Rick setup NVC-USA-Project-Announce yahoogroup with email addresses of last year's attendees
** Rick send draft of invitation to [http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NVC-USA-Project yahoogroup] - Monday
** Rick send out invitation - by end of May

NVC USA Meeting 27 May 2007

2007-12-11T06:44:38Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by OrmonCnaol (Talk); changed back to last version by DelvaRacel

ouracmonli
== Notes from [[NVC USA Project]] meeting Meeting 27 May 2007 ==

'''time / date: Sunday May 27, 2007, 4PM PDT; 7PM EDT''' 
'''Phone 712-580-7700, conference code: 682872 (NVCUSA)'''

'''Attendees: Tom Caruso, Jane Connor, Lisa Goldish, Rick Smith'''

'''Review [[NVC USA Meeting 10 Mar 2007]] minutes''' 
Lisa and Rick signed off on notes Tom published

'''NVC USA 2008 Conference Possibility'''
* [http://www.binghamton.edu/ Binghamton University, NY] in June 20-22, 2008
* At the end of a week long NVC Giraffe Festival

'''Giraffe Festival - history and vision from Jane'''
* got the idea in 2003 -- a gathering of NVC and fun
* liked open space "law of 2 feet" from the [[Compassion In Action]] conference
* summertime - beautiful place to be out
* games
* music and dancing
* community
* family
* possibly be connected to CNVC. Working with Barbara Larson to see if something is possible

'''Advantages of time and place'''
* Lower cost of being at the university in the summer when school is not in session
** Binghamton $70 per person day
** Previous host of [http://www.newyorkintensive.org/ NY Intensive] raised rates to $100 per person day
* Ability to accomodate up to 300 people
* Experience -- Jane is putting on two back to back [http://www.newyorkintensive.org/ intensives] in 2007 there
** local support team of 6 or 7 developing
* Summer time can be an easier time for people to travel

'''Issues and Concerns'''
* If US Project Conference were held stand-alone, would there be enough draw?
** Jane - being coupled with a week long event makes it more likely more people could attend
** Rick had a sense from conversations about trainers and communities, that people would go
** Lisa had a sense from the post conference survey that there's interest
* If it works for Marshall to attend festival, but constrained to spring or fall
** Binghamton would not work because school is in session.
** Giraffe Festival would probably be held elsewhere.
** Might or might not be feasible to have the US Project Conference held in conjunction.

'''Recapping email of Jane's interest'''
# a June festival with Marshall at Binghamton University (would be TOTALLY thrilled!)
# a non-summer festival with Marshall someplace else in the Northeast (Mount St. Adolphus, comes to mind in NY) - would be thrilled
# a summer festival without Marshall (would be very happy)

'''Next Actions'''
* Jane send email to Barbara Larson with vision from this group
** Rick post these notes - Sunday
** Lisa send draft of her hope and vision to [http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NVC-USA-Project yahoogroup] - Monday
** Jane edit and send email to Barbara - Midweek
* Rick setup NVC-USA-Project-Announce yahoogroup with email addresses of last year's attendees
** Rick send draft of invitation to [http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NVC-USA-Project yahoogroup] - Monday
** Rick send out invitation - by end of May

Compassion In Action

2007-12-05T15:42:10Z

Nvcwikiop:

'''Networking and Community Building for Nonviolent Communication in the United States'''

[[image:CompassionInActionLogo.jpg]]

Welcome. Here's an overview of the conference pages:

From the [[Compassion In Action Invitation]]:

:You are enthusiastically invited to attend a 3 day residential gathering of [[Nonviolent Communication]] supporters (trainers, teachers and organizers) June 30 - July 2, 2006 at Mills College in Oakland, California. The focus of this gathering is to support the spread of NVC communities throughout the United States by enhancing community-building skills and connection among diverse people and values. We welcome NVC enthusiasts from anywhere to attend especially if you want to help support this focus.
:[[Compassion In Action Invitation|more...]]

From the [[Compassion in Action FAQ]] (frequently asked questions):

:What, when and where is it?

::''Compassion In Action'' is a 3 day residential conference.

::Friday, June 30 - Sunday, July 2, 2006 at [http://www.mills.edu Mills College] in Oakland, California.
::Room and board are included in the conference price.
::[http://www.baynvc.org/calendar/view_entry.php?id=CD1004&date=20060629 Registration] information.

:[[Compassion in Action FAQ|more of the FAQ...]]

From the [[Compassion In Action Sessions]]:

:''Compassion In Action'' is an [[Open Space]] conference, so of course actual sessions will be decided by the participants at the conference itself. Given that, there are some sessions that current participants are presenting:
:* NVC Communities - struggles and lessons learned - Kit Miller
:* Parenting - Inbal Kashtan
:* Education - Sura Hart
:*[[Compassion In Action Sessions|more...]]

Registration page: http://www.baynvc.org/calendar/view_entry.php?id=CD1004&date=20060629

Format: [[Open Space]]

Questions? Please write: [mailto:NVC_Compassion_In_Action@yahoogroups.com NVC_Compassion_In_Action@yahoogroups.com]

----

We're excited to be using this wiki to organize our activities as a working group. If you would like to see what we are up to, and how our group is utilizing this wiki to organize the US Project, please take a look at [[Compassion In Action Planning]].

----

Perhaps unsurprisingly, there's a book by this title "Compassion in Action - Setting Out on the Path of Service" - [ISBN 051788500X]. Anyone read it?

Compassion In Action

2007-12-05T15:41:21Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by GetliTrocc (Talk); changed back to last version by RolzeLc4tt

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'''Networking and Community Building for Nonviolent Communication in the United States'''

[[image:CompassionInActionLogo.jpg]]

Welcome. Here's an overview of the conference pages:

From the [[Compassion In Action Invitation]]:

:You are enthusiastically invited to attend a 3 day residential gathering of [[Nonviolent Communication]] supporters (trainers, teachers and organizers) June 30 - July 2, 2006 at Mills College in Oakland, California. The focus of this gathering is to support the spread of NVC communities throughout the United States by enhancing community-building skills and connection among diverse people and values. We welcome NVC enthusiasts from anywhere to attend especially if you want to help support this focus.
:[[Compassion In Action Invitation|more...]]

From the [[Compassion in Action FAQ]] (frequently asked questions):

:What, when and where is it?

::''Compassion In Action'' is a 3 day residential conference.

::Friday, June 30 - Sunday, July 2, 2006 at [http://www.mills.edu Mills College] in Oakland, California.
::Room and board are included in the conference price.
::[http://www.baynvc.org/calendar/view_entry.php?id=CD1004&date=20060629 Registration] information.

:[[Compassion in Action FAQ|more of the FAQ...]]

From the [[Compassion In Action Sessions]]:

:''Compassion In Action'' is an [[Open Space]] conference, so of course actual sessions will be decided by the participants at the conference itself. Given that, there are some sessions that current participants are presenting:
:* NVC Communities - struggles and lessons learned - Kit Miller
:* Parenting - Inbal Kashtan
:* Education - Sura Hart
:*[[Compassion In Action Sessions|more...]]

Registration page: http://www.baynvc.org/calendar/view_entry.php?id=CD1004&date=20060629

Format: [[Open Space]]

Questions? Please write: [mailto:NVC_Compassion_In_Action@yahoogroups.com NVC_Compassion_In_Action@yahoogroups.com]

----

We're excited to be using this wiki to organize our activities as a working group. If you would like to see what we are up to, and how our group is utilizing this wiki to organize the US Project, please take a look at [[Compassion In Action Planning]].

----

Perhaps unsurprisingly, there's a book by this title "Compassion in Action - Setting Out on the Path of Service" - [ISBN 051788500X]. Anyone read it?

NVC USA Project

2007-12-04T07:44:00Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by ChireLtroc (Talk); changed back to last version by Nvcwikiop

Instant Messaging Network/PC

2007-12-04T07:42:28Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by LiaceLella (Talk); changed back to last version by Noam

= World Clock Meeting Planner=
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/meeting.html
http://www.worldtimeserver.com/meeting-planner.aspx
http://www.worldtimezone.com/time/wtzplanner.php?forma=

http://www.timeticker.com/ time zone visualizer

= How to Coordinate A Practice Group or Empathy Circle =

http://www.nynvc.org/

= Access numbers =
== Chile Czech Republic Denmark Finland Japan Latvia Lithuania Luxembourg Norway Turkey and Greece Hungary Netherlands Norway Poland Singapore South Korea Taiwan ==
access numbers also exist but not currently listed.
==Argentina==
Bahia Blanca +54-291-485-4001 works well
Bahia Blanca +54-291-485-0407
Buenos Aires +54-11-5258-8228
Buenos Aires +54-11-5273-4001
Buenos Aires +54-11-5258-2353
Cordoba +54-351-569-4001
Cordoba +54-351-568-1875
La Plata +54-221-446-4001
La Plata +54-221-448-0363
Mar del Plata +54-223-432-1701
Mar Del Plata +54-223-432-2608
Mendoza +54-261-476-4001
Mendoza +54-261-405-8387
Neuquen +54-299-436-7713
Rosario +54-341-527-4001
Rosario +54-341-527-0372
San Luis +54-2652-35-3004
Santa Fe +54-342-437-5609

==Australia==
all from same supplier couldn't connect with the access number, when connected then disconnected immediately.
Adelaide +61-8-7421-2359
Brisbane +61-7-3018-2881
Melbourne +61-3-8807-2174
Perth +61-8-9282-3229
Sydney +61-2-8307-8846
Sydney +61-2-8307-3881

==Austria==
+43-720902010 special rate number

==Belgium==
Antwerp +32-3-747-00-20 worked great
Antwerp +32-3-555-23-23
Antwerp +32-3-8080100
Bruges +32-50-580109 Callcentric number didn't take in the access number.
Brussels +32-2-747-00-20
Brussels +32-2-888-23-23
Brussels +32-2-8080352
Ghent +32-9-2980106
Liege +32-4-2680133
Namur +32-81-280141
==Brazil==
Belo Horizonte +55-31-3231-2840 didn't work
Brasilia +55-61-3717-2840 need to dial 2 for sipbroker and then the access number
Curitiba +55-41-3941-2840
Florianopolis +55-48-3717-0707
Porto Alegre +55-51-3251-2840
Rio de Janeiro +55-21-3521-2840
Rio de Janeiro Mobile Tim +55-21-8178-5162
Salvador +55-71-3717-0600
Sao Paulo +55-11-3511-5700
==Bulgaria==
Blagoevgrad +359-73-519080 no voice prompt , background music, just dial in the access number.
Blagoevgrad +359-73-580161
Burgas +359-56-919080
Burgas +359-56-981201 number didn't work
Dobrich +359-58-580311 BGOPEN.NET voice prompt,worked. voice not so good
Haskovo +359-38-580101
Plevin +359-64-970080
Plovdiv +359-32-570080
Plovdiv +359-32-580101
Ruse +359-82-580191
Shumen +359-54-981131
Siven +359 44 580191
Sofia +359-2-4918880
Sofia +359-2-4802401
Stara Zagora +359-42-919080
Stara Zagora +359-42-980101
Sunny Beach +359-554-70181
Varna +359-52-919080 Netfinity Ltd great voice
Varna +359 52 980111
==Canada==
Abbotsford +1-604-755-3458 Link2VoIP good voice
Calgary +1-403-775-2208 LES.NET disconnect after entering the access code
Edmonton +1-780-628-3504
Fort Mcmurray +1-780-747-2065
Grand Prairie +1-780-833-2565
Halifax +1-902-482-3738
Hamilton +1-905-390-1547
Kelowna +1-250-469-9037
Kingston +1-613-887-2383
Kitchener +1-519-957-1904
Lethbridge +1-403-388-3611
London +1-519-937-1450
Medicine Hat +1-403-488-3600
Montreal +1-514-908-9707
Oshawa +1-905-674-6127
Oshawa +1-289-222-FREE
Ottawa +1-613-686-1602
Quebec City +1-418-948-3307
Red Deer +1-403-755-8510
Sherbrooke +1-819-780-2742
St. Catherines +1-905-378-2953
Toronto +1-647-476-FREE
Trois Rivieres +1-819-840-5332
Vancouver +1-604-628-4266
Victoria +1-250-412-6019
Waterloo +1-519-772-5767
Whistler +1-604-966-2036
Windsor +1-519-968-2444
Winnipeg +1-204-480-4085
==China==
Shanghai +86-21-31001856 number didn't work
==Dominican Republic==
Santo Domingo +1-809-202-4981
==France==
Paris +33-1-72-09-04-04 great voice quality
Paris +33-1-79-99-79-99
==Germany==
Munich +49(0)-89-121409114 great voice quality
National +49-1803-5350033033 special rate number
==Ireland==

Current events

2007-12-01T17:25:18Z

Nvcwikiop:

Current events

2007-12-01T17:24:58Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by VarliNorel (Talk); changed back to last version by MonreLerta

varracmonm

'''21st July - 29th July 2007''' EEUN (Eastern European NVC Network) Face-to Face meeting in Poland Milanonwic.

----

'''21st July - 29th July 2007''' East-West NVC Advanced Training, Poland Milanowic, contact Ewa Rambala mailto:eva@rambala.hu or Ania Mills for more information!

----

'''20th-26th of March 2008''' 6th Experimental NVC Week "ART OF LIVING TOGETHER", in Estonia, Haapsalu Fra Mare Spa hotel, contact Merike Kahju mailto:merikene@gmail.com.

----

Administration News

2007-11-29T06:40:08Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by RoltaErchi (Talk); changed back to last version by Dieudo

2006/01/09
*installed mediawiki release 1.5.5, had some problems with "You have new messages" if username contains space.
*added some urls to SpamFilter

[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/01/16
* added net4free\.org, 20six\.fr, lima-city\.de, 20six\.nl to spam filter

[[User:Markus Pallo|Markus Pallo]]

2006/01/18
* added mp3\.com, buddy4u\.com to spam filter

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2006/02/01
* installed de/fr/en wiki. Available at en.nvcwiki.com, de.nvcwiki.com, fr.nvcwiki.com. Also configured interwiki links (interlanguage) at the left menu.

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2006/02/13
* added 20six\.de, pharmacy-health\.org, www\.allworldbuy\.com, www\.xlsite\.com, meds\.airmode\.de to spam filter

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2006/02/20
* added home\.tiscali\.cz, www\.multiweb\.cz, www\.vacant\.infobox\.ru to spam filter
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2006/02/22
* implemented a SpecialPage which wrapps the cgiirc chat system, the username of the current login will be forwarded
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2006/03/09
* switched logo of main page, logo suggestions still running [[NVC_Wiki_design]]
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2006/04/03
* upgrated to mediawiki 1.5.8, bugfix release
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2006/04/20
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2006/05/04
* deduska\.info, webkostenlos\.de, webhosting4free\.org to spam filter
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2006/05/22
* installed mediawiki 1.6.6 and updated SpamBlacklist
* enabled file upload for images
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2006/05/26
* added interwiki link to wikipedia in fr.nvcwiki.com prefix "wp:"
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2006/06/01
* added "$wgFileExtensions = array( 'png', 'jpg', 'jpeg', 'pdf' );" to LocalSettings.php to allow pdf uploads
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Quotes

2007-11-29T06:37:06Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by PasbaSchio (Talk); changed back to last version by Bhuston

Here is a list of '''NVC quotes, aphorisms, and endorsements''', which can be very useful in education and outreach. Hopefully you will find each quote to illustrate a core NVC concept, or will inspire you to learn more.

Since this is a wiki page, anyone can edit it. So, please feel free to add to this list!



== NVC Quotes, Aphorisms, and Endorsements ==

----

Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are
in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to
offer. -- Barbara De Angelis

----

Nonviolent Communication has so much to teach even advanced meditators.
Learning NVC has helped me to apply all that I've been cultivating on
the cushion - compassion, acceptance, understanding -off the cushion,
in the world. -- Christine Aquilino, member, Cambridge Insight Meditation
Center, Cambridge MA

----

In addition to saving our marriage, Marshall's work is helping us to
repair our relationships with our grown children and to relate more deeply
with our parents and siblings. Marshall has shown a way to not only live,
speak and act nonviolently, but a way to do so without sacrificing or
compromising yourself or others. If angels do manifest in physical form
here on this earth, then Marshall Rosenberg must be one. -- A reader
in Arizona

----

Marshall has gathered and presented in a clear and convincing way the
essential nuts and bolts of speaking skillfully. With generous examples
of what doesn't work and useful, practical exercises of what does work
towards clear communication, he makes a strong case for changing the
quality of our relationships. Nonviolent Communication is a valuable
resource for everyone. -- Steve Armstrong, teacher, Vipassana Metta,
Maui HI; Insight Meditation Society, Barre MA

----

Suddenly, out of the blue, she asks me what time it is. She can see I am
not wearing a watch and I am not sitting near the clock. We have no plans
for the day. I get irritated. "I don't have any idea what time it is, why
don't you get up and find out for yourself", I say, my voice dripping
ice. ... In minutes we are having a low-level spat. ... Forgetting
to decode that she was asking me to reaffirm our connection, I got
irritated. ... If I knew that every question, every time we reach out
towards the other, for whatever superficial reason, really means "Do
you love me?" and/or "Will you continue to love me?" and/or "Do you
know I love you?", then I might have answered her [differently, and]
probably neither of us would have worried about the time. -- Chip August,
[http://personallifemedia.com/blogs/sex-love-intimacy/2007/03/19/do-you-love-me/ Source]

----

Every man's life lies within the present; for the past is spent and done
with, and the future is uncertain. -- Marcus Aurelius

----

That's all nonviolence is - organized love. -- Joan Baez

----

We've developed new habits of thinking that help us resolve conflict
peacefully, communicate more effectively as a team, and to increase
morale, profits and productivity. -- Valerie Becker, director, human
resources; Horizon Moving Systems (part of the United Van Lines network)

----

The NVC process is truly an effective tool in solving problems and
differences among individuals. I hold great hope for the tools NVC offers
as a means of being a successful organization from top to bottom. --
Scott Beethe, practice administrator

----

You can observe a lot just by watching -- Yogi Berra

----

Nonviolent Communication is an extremely
useful tool for improving communication and cultivating compassion.
NVC ? expressed in simple, articulate, useful steps ? has the capacity
to be as liberating as anything which Buddhism has to offer. -- Ed Brown,
teacher, Zen Center, San Francisco CA / Tassajara, Green Gulch CA

----

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with
you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for
what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring
out. -- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

----

In NVC, we don't hear ultimatums, demands, or criticisms. All
communication is either an SOS or a care package. -- Kelly Bryson

----

The ability to control how love and sexuality are dispensed allows the
dynamic of domination to emerge in a couple or in a culture. Love and
sexuality can be spiritual forces for the nurturing of harmony within
individuals and groups as long as the sacredness and primacy of free
will and autonomy is maintained. -- Kelly Bryson

----

Better than a thousand useless words is one single word, hearing which
one attains peace. -- Buddha, Dhammapada

----

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. -- Buddha

----

He insulted me, he hurt me, he defeated me, he robbed me / those who think such thoughts will not be free from hate. He insulted me, he hurt me, he defeated me, he robbed me / those who think not such thought will be free from hate. For hate is not conquered by hate, hate is conquered by love / this is a law eternal. -- Buddha, from The Dhammapada

----

Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart give
yourself to it. -- Buddha

----

My use of NVC has totally transformed my practice. I have changed from an
irritated, impatient practitioner to a compassionate, understanding and
loving health care provider. -- Lt. JoAnn Burton, RN, Newport Beach, CA

----

Nonviolent Communication has positively changed both my personal life
and medical practice. I now listen not just with my mind but also from
the heart. -- Anton Butie, MD, Del Mar, CA

----

I had come to realize that my old communication style was very
judgmental and full of faultfinding. Both my work associates and I were
unhappy. My life is significantly changed due to practicing Nonviolent
Communication. I am more settled and relaxed even when I am busy. I no
longer feel the need to discover fault or place blame. Everyone is happy
to be working with me for the first time in my 33 years of owning and
operating my own businesses. -- A businessman in California

----

Applying these principles to my life and using this easy four-step
process has helped me change old conditioned beliefs and ways of acting.
Nonviolent Communication allowed me to overcome my toxic conditioning
and find the loving parent and person that was locked inside. Dr.
Rosenberg has created a way to transform the violence in the world. --
A nurse in California

----

Nonviolent Communication allowed me to overcome my toxic conditioning
and find the loving parent and person that was locked inside. -- A nurse
in California

----

Don't do anything that isn't play -- Joseph Campbell, quoted by Marshall
Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent Communications, DVD-2

----

I have used the NVC Companion Workbook now in two prison facilities. It
has been a wonderful tool for men and women who are committed to gaining
useful life skills in some of the toughest of environments. -- Karen
Campbell, workforce/lifeskills coordinator, Coffee Creek Corrections
Facility

----

I believe the principles and techniques in this book, Nonviolent
Communication: A Language of Life, can literally change the world, but
more importantly, they can change the quality of your life with your
spouse, your children, your neighbors, your co-workers and everyone else
you interact with. I cannot recommend it highly enough. -- Jack Canfield,
author, Chicken Soup for the Soul Series

----

When someone shouts "F-ck you!", what they really mean is, "I am so
in pain that I can't express my real needs and feelings." -- Caverly,
[http://people.tribe.net/ae705398-bda9-445f-9777-62d8f13b05be/blog?page=2 source]

----

When I am angry, three things are true: 1) There's something I'm wanting
I'm not getting. 2) I'm telling myself that someone ought to be giving
it to me. 3) I'm about to speak or behave in a way that will virtually
assure that I won't get what I want, or, at least assure that even if
I get it, it will not be given the way I really want. -- Alex Censor,
CNVC trainer, after Marshall Rosenberg, circa 1989

----

To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well,
and is as essential to all true conversation -- Chinese Proverb

----

Giving connects two people, the giver and the receiver, and this
connection gives birth to a new sense of belonging. -- Deepak Chopra

----

Marshall Rosenberg provides us with the most effective tools to foster
health and relationships. Nonviolent Communication connects soul to soul,
creating a lot of healing. It is the missing element in what we do. --
Deepak Chopra, author, How to Know God and Ageless Body and Timeless Mind

----

We should all be grateful to Marshall Rosenberg. He provides us with
the most effective tools to foster health and relationships. Nonviolent
Communication connects soul to soul, creating a lot of healing and helps
us express honestly from the heart what are people doing that is or is not
in harmony with our needs. NVC is the missing element in what we do. --
Deepak Chopra, author, How to Know God and Ageless Body and Timeless Mind

----

Jaw jaw is better than war war. -- Winston Churchill

----

I'm now finding myself communicating my needs and my business needs
more clearly, with better results, and I'm spending less energy and
time achieving it. -- Keith Cooper, owner, Alphagraphics Palo Verde;
Tucson, Arizona

----

If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going. --
Irwin Corey

----

Empathy is full presence to what's alive in the other person at this
moment. -- John Cunningham, CNVC Trainer

----

I want to thank you for the Nonviolent Communication book. It is a
fantastic book. It's helping me to reflect on a lot of things. It means
a lot to me to have people believe in me. Everyone that received the
books here at the prison appreciates your support. Thank you and God
bless you all. -- T. D., Woman's Facility, Norco State Prison, Norco CA

----

The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been
accomplished. -- Daniel W. Davenport

----

Communication is either connection or confusion. Connection meets needs,
confusion doesn't. Most communication is confusion. We need to change
that. NVC provides clarity and facilitates connection, which is what
it's all about. -- Dee Davidson

----

If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to
your enemies. -- Moshe Dayan

----

If you can dream it, you can do it. -- Walt Disney

----

I appreciate how well Nonviolent Communication reduces a very complex
and needful topic to utter simplicity. -- HAL DOIRON, Director, Columbine
Community Citizen's Task Force

----

We never do things that are wrong, we do things that aren't in harmony
with our needs. -- Doug Dolstad, CNVC Trainer

----

Everything has changed, except our way of thinking. -- Albert Einstein

----

Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own
hearts. -- Albert Einstein

----

The significant problems of our time cannot be solved by the same level
of thinking that created them. -- Albert Einstein

----

Relationships with our children, spouses, parents, loved ones, and people
in positions of authority often tend to trigger emotional reactions,
which seem out of proportion to the immediate stress at hand. Nonviolent
or Compassionate Communication offers a way for us to practice being
mindful of our emotions with the focus of attention on our use of language
and communication. -- Bruce Eisenorf, MD

----

We are disturbed not by events, but by the views which we take of
them. -- Epictetus

----

Marshall Rosenberg has a genius for developing and teaching practical
skills urgently needed for a less violent, more caring world. -- Riane
Eisler, author, The Chalice and the Blade, Tomorrow's Children and The
Power of Partnership

----

Nonviolent Communication is a powerful tool for peace and partnership.
It shows us how to listen empathically and also communicate our authentic
feelings and needs. Marshall Rosenberg has a genius for developing and
teaching practical skills urgently needed for a less violent, more
caring world. -- RIANE EISLER, author of The Chalice and The Blade,
Tomorrow's Children, and The Power of Partnership

----

Schools in which students and teachers relate as partners-where
Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication is part of every interaction are
communities of learning, rather than top-down, impersonal factories. Young
people begin to see school as a safe and exciting place of exploration
where they can share feelings and ideas, and where each child is
recognized, valued and nurtured. -- Riane Eisler, author, The Chalice
and the Blade, Tomorrow's Children and The Power of Partnership

----

I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than
real, unconditional love. You can find it in a simple act of kindness
toward someone who needs help. There is no mistaking love. You feel it
in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heals our
soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives. It is our
connection to God and to each other. -- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

----

People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the
sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed
only if there is a light within. -- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

----

What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared
to what lies within us -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

----

I have been volunteering and leading a cadre of volunteers in a Low-Medium
Security federal men's prison in Victoria, BC (Canada) for the past seven
years. It was, in fact, at the prison that I first heard Marshall speak.
I have since incorporated NVC consciousness in my work with this group
as well as in other areas in my life and have found it profoundly
life-changing. I have a huge gratitude to my friend for her insisting
that I make time to attend that life-changing workshop with Marshall
last year. -- Michele Favarger, volunteer, Low-Medium security federal
men's prison, Victoria BC

----

Rosenberg brings us globally critical evidence that how/what we speak
reflects who we are and embodies what we will become. -- Dr. Barbara
E. Fields, executive director, The Association for Global New Thought

----

It isn't where you come from, it's where you're going that counts. --
Ella Fitzgerald

----

Nonviolent Communication has catalyzed a process of clarification/
healing/ empowerment in me that I could never have imagined. This process
has impacted every area of my life and continues to unfold. For me, it
unifies the spiritual truths I've found in all the world's religions. It
facilitates and strengthens connections to others and its truths are
experientially testable.... I stand in awe of the model this book teaches
as a means of learning how to do love and of its elegant simplicity. --
A reader in Florida

----

It seems to me that whereas power usually means power-over, the power
of some person or group over some other person or group, it is possible
to develop the conception of power-with, a jointly developed power,
a co-active, not a coercive power. -- Mary Parker Follett

----

The experience of separateness arouses anxiety; it is, indeed, the
source of all anxiety. -- Erich Fromm, German psychoanalyst & writer,
The Art of Loving (Perennial Classics), Page: 8

----

Marshall took nonviolence a step further - beyond Gandhi. -- Johan
Galtung, Founder of the first peace institute in Oslo, 1959

----

Speak Peace is a book that comes at an appropriate time when anger and
violence dominates human attitudes. Marshall Rosenberg gives us the
means to create peace through our speech and communication. A brilliant
book. -- Arun Gandhi, president, M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence

----

I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is
only temporary, the evil it does is permanent. -- Mahatma Gandhi

----

Namaste. I honour the place in your where the entire universe resides... a
place of light, of love, of truth, of peace, of wisdom. I honour the
place in you where when you are in that place and I am in that place
there is only one of us. -- Mohandas K. Gandhi

----

The Compassionate Classroom is a fabulous book! If teachers will read
it, they can transform their classrooms. -- William Glasser, MD, author,
Schools Without Failure and The Quality School

----

The extraordinary language of Nonviolent Communication is changing how
parents relate to children, teachers to students, and how we all related
to each other and even to ourselves. It is precise, disciplined, and
enormously compassionate. Most important, once we study NVC we can't
ignore the potential for transformation that lies in any difficult
relationship - if we only bother to communicate with skill and empathy. --
Bernie Glassman, president and co-founder, Peacemaker Community

----

The consciousness of Nonviolent Communication and Buddhism feed each
other, deepen each other and support each other in a beautiful, mutual
dance of deepening love. -- Mark J. Goodman, Vipassana Meditation and a
heart connection connection to Thich Nhat Hanh and his lineage, Seattle WA

----

Without an ounce of hesitation, I can say this book and these ideas
have had a profound, deep, and lasting impact on my life, improved my
relationships, increased the clarity and consciousness with which I use
language, and strengthened my intention to live a loving, compassionate
life. -- Mark J. Goodman

----

Animating compassion into living moment-to-moment experience seems a
formidable task for novices on the Dharma path. For convicts immersed in
an environment which intensifies and reinforces conflict, discovering a
step-by-step methodology advocating compassion through communication is
enormously liberating. -- Dow Gordon, Vipassana (Insight) Meditation,
Minimum Security Unit of the Monroe Correctional Complex, Monroe, WA

----

For convicts immersed in an environment which intensifies and reinforces
conflict, discovering a step-by-step methodology advocating compassion
through communication is enormously liberating. More than solely a potent
means to communicate, the NVC process effects fundamental and irrevocable
shifts in patterns of perception and interaction. -- Dow Gordon, Vipassana
(Insight) Meditation, Minimum Security Unit of the Monroe Correctional
Complex, Monroe, WA

----

We know that when people learn to communicate effectively with each
other, their lives and their relationships can be truly transformed. This
book gives people both a way of expressing their needs congruently and
non-blamefully and a way of listening so others feel not just heard, but
understood. -- Dr. Thomas Gordon, author, Parent Effectiveness Training

----

Marshall Rosenberg's dynamic communication techniques transform potential
conflicts into peaceful dialogues. You'll learn simple tools to defuse
arguments and create compassionate connections with your family, friends,
and other acquaintances. I highly recommend this book. -- John Gray,
Ph.D., author, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

----

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe
me." Look what happens; with a love like that, it lights up the whole
sky. -- Hafiz

----

We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness. -- Thich
Nhat Hanh

----

The art of listening needs it highest development in listening to oneself;
our most important task is to develop an ear that can really hear what
we're saying. -- Sidney Harris, columnist

----

The art of listening needs its highest development in listening to
oneself; our most important task is to develop an ear that can really
hear what we're saying. -- Sidney Harris, columnist

----

Dr. Rosenberg has added his thoughtful voice to an important
conversation. His approach is insightful, provocative, and is sure to
spark discussion. Speak Peace helps engage us in a vital dialogue that
allows us to look within and ask ourselves what role we can play in making
the world a better place. -- David Hart, CEO, Association for Conflict
Resolution (not endorsed by ACR, title provided for identification
purposes only)

----

Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are. -- Houssaye

----

By temporarily putting our solutions aside, we learn how to offer what
is really needed first. Then our solutions can be received. -- Holley
Humphrey, CNVC Trainer

----

While there are other parenting books with insight into childhood,
Parenting from Your Heart goes a step further, showing parents how to put
theory into practice with their own child in a realistic, compassionate
and effective way. This book is worth its weight in gold!? -- Jan Hunt,
author, The Natural Child and director, The Natural Child Project Society

----

Many people seem to get hung up on the sexuality aspect of polyamory,
but the root is "many loving". So the connection to NVC, and NVC's
connection to tantra, all seems quite natural to me. It's all about
how to make this love connection better. Polyamory is not a single
thing; there are 10,000 variations. One could say we are all poly,
including serial monogamists. Polyamory is to love and sexuality what
Unitarian-Universalism is to religion: There is no central dogma,
and everyone is included. No one is going to tell you what to do, how
to think, or what is right or wrong. This is a celebration of freedom
and autonomy. Go exploring in all dimensions, Rainbow People. Just be
sure to have fun! Tell us of the treasures you discover, and the lovely
connections you make along your journey. -- Bill Huston (with gratitude
to JR)

----

My relationship with my husband, which was good already, has become even
better. I have taught the method to many parents who have reported having
gained a deeper understanding of their children, thus enhancing their
relationship and decreasing tension and conflict. -- A reader in Illinois

----

If you care about healing the offender and the victims in the community,
then it's paramount that beginnings be made. The Nonviolent Communication
process is a very large step toward this goal. -- A prison inmate

----

The single toughest, most dangerous opponent I'd ever faced the one
that truly hurt me the most, causing me to spend 30 years of my life
behind bars was my own anger and fear. I write these words now, a gray
haired old man, hoping to God before you suffer what I've suffered that
it will cause you to listen and learn Nonviolent Communication. It will
teach you how to recognize anger before it becomes violence, and how
to understand, deal with, and take control of the rage you may feel. --
A prisoner writing to fellow inmates

----

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. For as you judge others you
will also be judged. -- Jesus

----

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who
looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. -- Carl Jung

----

Consider practicing NVC for one year before trying to teach it. --
Dian Killian, CNVC trainer

----

Like Noam Chomsky, Rosenberg's work is intrinsically radical, it subverts
our whole status-quo system of power: between children and adults, the
sane and the psychotic, the criminal and the law. Rosenberg's distinction
between punitive and protective force should be required reading for
anyone making foreign policy or policing our streets. -- D. Killian,
reporter, On The Front Line, Cleveland Free Times

----

Rosenberg starts with the question: What happens to disconnect us from our
compassion, leading us to behave violently and exploitively? Rosenberg
makes some challenging points: that compliments and apologies operate
in a system of oppression; that rewards are as harmful as punishment,
that killing is the easy way out. His distinction between punitive
and protective force-and how to discern when force is necessary'should
be required reading for anyone making foreign policy or policing our
streets. Demanding the ultimate form of responsibility? and vulnerability
- it's no wonder that Rosenberg has received little media and mass
attention. Well-written and laid out this book is accessible and easy
to read. -- D. KILLIAN, On The Front Line, Cleveland Free Times

----

Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence, but
also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man,
but you refuse to hate him. -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

----

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that
matter. -- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

----

I feel very blessed that Vipassana Meditation and Nonviolent Communication
came into my life right around the same time. These two powerful tools
complement one another in deeply profound ways. Nonviolent Communication,
for me, is the how to of Right Speech, communicating in ways that elicit
compassion, understanding, connection and clarity. My relationships are
now nourishing and clear, my actions are more deliberate and conscious,
and my service to the world is coming from a more peaceful and positive
place within. -- Tricia King, Bellingham WA

----

Action has meaning only in relationship and without understanding
relationship, action on any level will only breed conflict. The
understanding of relationship is infinitely more important than the search
for any plan of action. -- J. Krishnamurti

----

So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you
are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is
being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it. -- Jiddu Krishnamurti

----

The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe without
evaluating -- Jiddu Krishnamurti (quoted in Rosenberg, Nonviolent
Communication, 2003a, p. 10)

----

Violence is not merely killing another. It is violence when we use a sharp
word, when we make a gesture to brush away a person, when we obey because
there is fear. So violence isn't merely organized butchery in the name
of God, in the name of society or country. Violence is much more subtle,
much deeper, and we are inquiring into the very depths of violence. --
Jiddu Krishnamurti, Freedom from the Known, ch. 6

----

When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a
European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why
it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of
mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by
tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand
violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political
party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding
of mankind. -- Jiddu Krishnamurti, Freedom from the Known, ch. 6

----

[I]t is important to understand, not intellectually but actually in your
daily life, how you have built images about your wife, your husband, your
neighbor, your child, your country, your leaders, your politicians, your
gods; you have nothing but images. The images create the space between you
and what you observe and in that space there is conflict, so what we are
going to find out now together is whether it is possible to be free of the
space we create, not only outside ourselves but in ourselves, the space
which divides people in all their relationships... -- Jiddu Krishnamurti

----

This is who I am. Not everybody has to like it. -- Lisa Kudrow

----

Compassion is the radicalism of our age. -- Dalai Lama

----

What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful. -- Dalai Lama

----

Eat by Choice, Not by Habit combines the author's humor, deep compassion
for others and knowledge about food in a way that makes me eager to follow
her lead toward healthy eating-and more importantly, toward a healthy
attitude about eating. She aptly teaches us all to frame our food issues
in a language that is both liberating and comforting. -- Judith Hanson
Lasater, Ph.D., physical therapist and author of 30 Essential Yoga Poses

----

Using NVC was vital to healing my relationship with my sister; and for me,
it serves as a guide for applying Buddhist practice to communication. --
Jane Lazar, Zen Student in Residence / NVC Trainer

----

Changing the way the world has worked for 5,000 years sounds daunting,
but Nonviolent Communication helps liberate us from ancient patterns of
violence. -- Francis Lefkowitz, reporter, Body & Soul

----

Making a request without revealing the feeling/need takes all the joy
out of other's service. -- Lucy Leu, CNVC Trainer

----

I highly recommend Nonviolent Communication to anyone interested in
resolving conflicts, creating more intimate relationships, or exploring
the connection between language and violence. -- Kate Lin, reporter,
The New Times

----

Nonviolent Communication is filled with stories of mediations in many
different situations: families, corporations, cops and gangs, Rwandan
village tribal chiefs, Israelis and Palestinians. The author describes
how, in numerous conflicts, once enemies have been able to hear each
other's needs, they are able to connect compassionately and find new
solutions to previously impossible impasses. He has compiled his ideas
into an easy-to-read book that clearly explains this communication
model. If you want to learn ways of more skillful speech, I highly
recommend this book. -- DIANA LION, Turning Wheel Magazine, Buddhist
Peace Fellowship

----

Rosenberg describes how, in numerous conflicts, once enemies have been
able to hear each other's needs, they are able to connect compassionately
and find new solutions to previously impossible impasses. If you want
to learn ways of more skillful speech I highly recommend this clear,
easy-to-read book. -- Diana Lion, Buddhist Peace Fellowship, Turning
Wheel Magazine

----

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my
vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid. --
Audre Lourde

----

The world will change for the better when people decide that they are
sick and tired of being sick and tired of the way the world is, and
decide to change themselves. -- Sidney Madwed

----

Sorrow and anger are two forms of unrequited desire. -- His Holiness
Jagadguru Sri Chandrasekarendra Saraswathi Mahaswamigal

----

To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as
to talk well -- John Marshall

----

As a professional in the field, I have read many books touting most
of the topics covered in this book. But today I am ordering SEVERAL of
these, particularly for the teenagers in my life. This book practices
what it preaches, and I found the step-by-step approach, exercises,
and examples to be clear and easy to practice. -- A reader in Maryland

----

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life practices what it preaches,
and I found the step-by-step approach, exercises and examples to be
clear and easy to practice. -- A reader in Maryland

----

For those of us who live our parenting responsibilities as a call for
inner growth and social transformation, Parenting From Your Heart offers
a unique perspective. Filled with insights and exercises, it helps us
prioritize connection, attend to everyone's needs, look for the needs
behind challenging behaviors, and to share power with our children. --
Stephanie Mattei, La Leche League

----

I am sure that each time I read this book, I will become better at
empathetically responding to people who up to now I had decided were
too toxic to deal with. -- Carmen Matthews, San Diego CA

----

One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who take the trouble
to listen to us as we consider our problems, can change our whole outlook
on the work. -- Elton Mayo, behavioral scientist

----

Not only does the NVC process improve communication, but it works within
us, requiring us to examine our own emotions and ways of thinking about
others before we speak. Thus it is an excellent tool for personal growth
and transformation as well as peaceful communication. "Let peace begin
with me" could be the NVC motto. -- Kittrell McCord, Tucson Community
Meditation Center, Tucson AZ

----

Nonviolent Communication is a simple process that eliminates the
competitive, adversarial, and violence provocative style of communication
that has infected most of our lives. -- Chuck McDougal, book reviewer

----

We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand
invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run
as causes and return to us as results. -- Herman Melville

----

There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence ... [and that is]
activism and overwork. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form,
perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself
to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender
to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want
to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence. The frenzy
of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own
inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work,
because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful. --
Thomas Merton, "An Innate Violence", quoted in Sabbath

----

NVC is an awareness practice masquerading as a communication tool. --
Kit Miller, former Chair of the Board of the International Center for
Nonviolent Communication

----

The Compassionate Classroom demonstrates the connection between learning
and the relationships between students and teachers. It is filled with
exercises and role-plays that could be introduced to the classroom
to enhance understanding. This is a great curriculum development
resource!? -- Jerry Mintz, Alternative Education Resource Organization
(AERO)

----

Marshall's unique message gives teachers easy steps for peaceful
communication and a new way to work with children and parents. -- BARBARA
MOFFITT, Executive Director, National Center for Montessori Educators

----

When I discovered the NVC process, I immediately saw how congruent it
was with my Buddhist practice. NVC really allows me to manifest my
compassionate nature in my daily life. -- Pascale Molho, Kanzeon Sangha;
Paris, France

----

Life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be. -- Grandma Moses

----

The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength,
but the strong is the one who controls himself in a moment of anger.
-- The Prophet Muhammad

----

Teachers, parents and school administrators: Today's teachers can create
a Planet of Peace. The communication process you will learn by reading
Nonviolent Communication is the cornerstone. -- Robert Muller, former
Assistant Secretary General of the United Nations and co-founder of the
University for Peace in Costa Rica

----

Speak Peace sums up decades of healing and peacework. It would be hard
to list all the kinds of people who can benefit from reading this book,
because it's really any and all of us. -- Michael Nagler, author, Is
There No Other Way: The Search for a Nonviolent Future

----

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be
understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. --
Ralph Nichols

----

Nonviolent Communication and trainings in the NVC process are an
invaluable, skillful means for enriching communication with oneself
and with others in a manner that eases the suffering in human
relationships. -- Nicolee Jikyo Miller-McMahan, Three Treasures Zen
Community

----

I highly recommend reading this book, and applying the NVC process it
teaches. It is a significant first step towards changing our communication
and creating a compassionate world. -ARUN GANDHI, Founder/President,
M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence

----

We have lived traumatic moments over and over again-moments of fear and
panic, incomprehension, frustrations, disappointment, and injustice of
all sorts, with no hope of escape.... [The NVC process] offers us a
peaceful alternative for ending this interminable Rwandan conflict. --
Theodore Nyilidandi, Rwandan Dept. of Foreign Affairs; Kigali, Rwanda

----

Speak Peace in a World of Conflict offers a gift of spirit, theory and
nonviolent communication experience from which every seeker of peace
within and without can learn. It complements John Burton's Deviance,
Terrorism and War as a guide to mutual need-fulfilling processes of
problem-solving to realize nonviolent conditions of global life. --
Glenn D. Paige, author, Nonkilling Global Political Science; founder,
Center for Global Nonviolence

----

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same
time. -- M. Scott Peck

----

I have found the NVC practice to be a powerful complement to the Buddhist
teachings on right speech. While the Dharma helps me know which forms
of speech to avoid, NVC shows me how to use language in ways that build
more compassionate connections with others. -- Tom Pedulla, member,
Cambridge Insight Meditation Center, Cambridge MA

----

No matter what the issue may be that serves to separate us from others,
whether it is sexual orientation, gender, or racial differences, NVC is
a process that can bring us back into connection, and help us to honor
and appreciate our differences and celebrate our common needs. -- Carol
Placer, Association of Women in Psychology, Northern Arizona contact

----

No matter what the issue may separate us, NVC can help us appreciate our
differences and celebrate our common needs. -- Carol Placer, Association
of Women in Psychology, Northern Arizona contact

----

A good listener truly wants to know the speaker. -- John Powell S.J.,
Will The Real Me Please Stand Up?

----

Many books on communication are strong on theory but impractical on
application. Marshall Rosenberg's instant classic is the stand-out
exception. It is clear and compelling in its logic and flat-out inspiring
in its inviting exposition of usable techniques and strategies. If this
book is read by enough people, the world will transform. -- Hugh Prather,
author, The Little Book of Letting Go, Shining Through, and Morning Notes

----

Change in the body must start with change in thought. If you have
been unable to eat smart, despite repeated attempts, Eat by Choice,
Not by Habit is the book you have been waiting for. -- Linda Prout,
nutritionist and nutrition director

----

Difficult as it is really to listen to someone in affliction, it is just
as difficult for him to know that compassion is listening to him. --
Simone Weil quotes

----

Yes, the past can hurt, but the way I see it, you either run from it,
or you learn from it. -- Rafiki, in The Lion King

----

Connecting the individual consciousness together within yourself, is
the gift of the giver. It is with a touch of love that your hands will
recieve all that is hidden behind love. The touch is mine. -- Rasa,
Testament of Will, Green 16

----

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to
listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each
other is our attention. A loving silence often has far more power to heal
and to connect than the most well~intentioned words. -- Rachel Naomi Remen

----

In our present age of uncivil discourse and mean-spirited demagoguery,
racial hatreds and ethnic intolerance, the principles and practices
outlined in Nonviolent Communication are as timely as they are necessary
to the peaceful resolution of conflicts, personal or public, domestic
or international. -- MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW, Taylor's Shelf

----

Buddhism and NVC are rooms in the same house. By examining the tools
of the mind, language and symbol, the true nature of the mind becomes
clearer. I strongly recommend NVC as a highly effective practice for
developing clarity and genuine compassion. -- Lewis Rhames, Vipassana
Insight Meditation, Minimal Security Unit,

----

Dr. Rosenberg has brought the simplicity of successful communication
into the foreground. No matter what issue you're facing, his strategies
for communicating with others will set you up to win every time. --
Anthony Robbins, author, Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power

----

The principles of Nonviolent Communication taught by Dr. Rosenberg are
instrumental in creating an extraordinary and fulfilling quality of
life. His compassionate and inspiring message cuts right to the heart
of successful communication. -- TONY ROBBINS, author of Awaken the Giant
Within, Unlimited Power, and PowerTalk!

----

In Nonviolent Communication you will find an amazingly effective language
for saying what's on your mind and in your heart. Like so many essential
and elegant systems, it's simple on the surface, challenging to use
in the heat of the moment and powerful in its results. -- Vicki Robin,
co-author, Your Money or Your Life

----

We learned to speak but not communicate and that has led to so much
unnecessary personal and social misery. In [NVC] you will find an
amazingly effective language for saying what's on your mind and in your
heart. Like so many essential and elegant systems, it's simple on the
surface, challenging to use in the heat of the moment and powerful in
its results. -- Vicki Robin, author of Your Money or Your Life

----

If I can listen to what he can tell me, if I can understand how it seems
to him; if I can see its personal meaning for him, if I can sense the
emotional flavor which it has for him, then I will be releasing potent
forces of change in him. -- Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person

----

[Listening] means entering the private perceptual world of the other and
becoming thoroughly at home in it. It involves being sensitive, moment
by moment, to the changing felt meanings which flow in this other person....
To be with another in this ways means that for the time being, you lay aside
your own views and values in order to enter another’s world without prejudice.
In some sense it means that you lay aside yourself .... -- Carl Rogers

----

Man’s inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively, skillfully, and with understanding to another person. -- Carl Rogers, psychologist

----

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -- Eleanor
Roosevelt

----

My needs are happy to meet your needs! -- Jyoti Rose (Jodi Gross)

----

While I recognize you are not the only person who can meet these needs,
you are my favorite strategy. -- Jyoti Rose (Jodi Gross)

----

Years of meditation and spiritual study left me with discouragement
at my inability to implement the resulting high ideals. The Nonviolent
Communication process turned out to be the liberating key that is showing
me how to put spiritual teachings into concrete practice in my daily
life. -- Lin Rose, Bellevue WA

----

A difficult message is a chance to enrich someone's life. -- Marshall
Rosenberg

----

Also, think about your intentionality — are you getting lost in the method? or coming from the intentionality, the purpose? You don’t want to do the mechanics without the consciousness. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day2.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

A need is life seeking expression within us. -- Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.

----

After the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, millions
of people throughout the world are feeling deep pain and grief. They feel
outraged, scared, powerless -- and very vulnerable. Many have a deep
need to feel safe again. They long for a world where they can live in peace.
Others have a deep desire to get even. They long for revenge And retribution.
Currently, the United States has decided that it must take action, and
other countries have decided to join them. Some people want the goal of these
actions to be peace and safety; some want these actions to focus on
retaliation and punishment. This presents a real problem: If our leaders
base their actions on retaliation and punishment, I believe they cannot
achieve the goal of lasting world safety and peace. -- Marshall Rosenberg,
La Crescenta, CA, September 27, 2001

----

All human actions are an attempt to meet needs. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

All people ever say is: THANK YOU (a celebration of life) and PLEASE
(an opportunity to make life more wonderful). -- Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.

----

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing
that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those
people deserve to be punished. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

Very often, the way love is defined, it does violence to both people.
It almost makes them a slave to the other. For example, if to be
in love, or to be married, it means that I'm responsible for the
other person's happiness, now we get into this guilt game, where
if they're upset, I'm at fault. Soon, that makes the person we are
closest to about as much fun to be around as a prolonged dental
appointment. -- Marshall Rosenberg, "NVC and Corporations pt 2",
Farther down the Rabbit Hole show w/Paula Gloria.
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smEXGNui2OQ Source]

----

Any evaluation which implies rightness or wrongness is a tragic, suicidal
expression of an unmet need. Tragic, first because it decreases our
likelihood of getting our need met! Even if we think it. And secondly,
because it increases the likelihood of violence. That's why I'm suggesting
any evaluation which implies rightness or wrongness is a tragic, suicidal
expression of an unmet need. Say the need! Learn a need-consciousness. --
Marshall Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent Communication, DVD-1

----

Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he’ll jump in. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

As soon as you say, "are you feeling X because I ..." Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he’s the cause of his pain. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

Behind intimidating messages are simply people appealing to us to meet
our needs. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

Be very slow to go into looking for solutions. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day2.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

Domination cultures teach us a way of thinking that serves the
structure, not life. Perhaps the most important human need
is the need to make contribute to life, to enrich life, to
make life more wonderful for everyone. Viktor Frankl calls
this "man's search for meaning". Domination cultures, jackal
cultures, really work on this, by tricking people into
mis-recognizing this as a need for money, status, approval.
To make us slaves of culture, we have been educated to get
these other things as [the spoils of] the good life. That
takes a powerful [educational system] to make us so stupid.
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg, "Mis-recognition of Needs", from
the CD, "Creating a Life Serving System Within Oneself".

----

Don’t get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind
it. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

Empathize, rather than put your "but" in the face of an angry person. --
Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

Empathizing with someone's "no" protects us from taking it personally. --
Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

Empathy allows us to re-perceive our world in a new way and move on. --
Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

Empathy before education. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg [http://www.listeningway.com/marshall-empathy1.html Source]

----

Empathy lies in our ability to be present. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

Empathy: Emptying our mind and listening with our whole being -- Marshall
B. Rosenberg

----

Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy. -- Marshall Rosenberg, Intimate Relationships, track 23

----

Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the
need met. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

For many parents, the way I'm talking about communicating is so different
that they say, "Well, it just doesn't seem natural to communicate
that way." At just the right time, I read something that Gandhi had
written in which he said, "Don't mix up that which is habitual with
that which is natural." Gandhi said that very often we've been trained
to communicate and act in ways that are quite unnatural, but they are
habitual in the sense that we have been trained for various reasons
to do it that way in our culture. And that certainly rang true to
me in the way that I was trained to communicate with children. The
way I was trained to communicate by judging rightness and wrongness,
goodness and badness, and the use of punishment was widely used and
very easily became habitual for me as a parent. But I wouldn't say that
because something is habitual that it is natural. -- Marshall Rosenberg,
[http://www.naturalchild.org/marshall_rosenberg/rcc.html Source]

----

I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react
to what they say. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

I try never to hear what another person thinks of me. I enjoy life a lot more when I spend as little time as possible hearing or thinking about what other people think about me. I go to the needs behind the thoughts. Then I’m in a different world. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

I'm going to show you a technology today which takes insults and
criticisms out of the airwaves. (Marshall puts on giraffe ears) With
this technology, it will be impossible for you to hear criticisms, harsh
remarks, or insults. All you can hear is what all people are ever saying,
"please" and "thank you". What used to sound like criticism, judgment,
or blame, you will see, are really tragic, suicidal expressions of
"please". -- Marshall Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent Communication,
DVD-1.

----

If we don't tell people about our needs, it is much less likely they
will be met. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people
in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get
rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and
needing. -- Marshall Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent Communication,
DVD-2

----

If you have an image of someone cutting off a relationship, it’s the cutting off that will lead to your suffering. If you see the action as their need being expressed, then the message is within them, not you. Any interpretation you put onto another person’s message (such as passive-aggressive, withholding, etc.), you will pay for because of how you took it. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

Imagine connecting with the human spirit in each person in any situation
at any time. Imagine interacting with others in a way that allows
everyone's need to be equally valued. Imagine creating organizations
and life-serving systems responsive to our needs and the needs of our
environment. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg [http://www.listeningway.com/marshall-empathy1.html Source]

----

In these long-standing conflicts, I find that most cases it gets resolved
in about twenty minutes after each side can tell me the needs of the
other. -- Marshall Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent Communication,
DVD-1

----

Instead of playing the game "Making Life Wonderful", we often play
the game called "Who's Right". Do you know that game? It's a game
where everybody loses. -- Marshall Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent
Communication, DVD-1

----

It may be difficult to empathize with those who are closest to us. --
Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

It's harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power,
status, or resources. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

It's never what people do that make us angry, it's what we tell ourselves
about what they did. -- Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.

----

Most of us live in a Jackal world where we take turns using the other person as a waste basket for our words. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day2.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

NO is always a YES to something else. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

Never connect yourself with the other person’s pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person’s feelings and needs. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

NVC Mourning: connecting with the feelings and unmet needs stimulated
by past actions which we now regret. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

[NVC is] language, thoughts, communication skills and means of influence that serve my desire to do three things: 1) to liberate myself from cultural learning that is in conflict with how I want to live my life. 2) to empower myself to connect with myself and others in a way that makes compassionate giving natural. 3) to empower myself to create structures that support compassionate giving. -- Marshall Rosenberg, Lausanne Switzerland, September 2003

----

NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to
get our needs met. -- Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.

----

NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet
when we took the action which we now regret. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

Natural Giving: Anything we do in life which is not out of that
energy, we pay for and everybody else pays for. Anything we do to
avoid punishment, everybody pays for. Everything we do for a reward,
everybody pays for. Everything we do to make people like us, everybody
pays for. Everything we do out of guilt, shame, duty, or obligation,
everybody pays for. -- Marshall Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent
Communication, DVD-1.

----

Needs are the expression of life through us. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

Needs are never conflicting. When we say that, we are only saying that at the moment we aren’t seeing how both needs can be met. That leaves an opening. When you think in the way I’m suggesting, you’ll often find a way to get most needs met simultaneously. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks, especially what
they think about you. -- Marshall Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent
Communications, DVD-1

----

Never put your "but" in the face of an angry person. -- Marshall
Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent Communication, DVD-2

----

Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful — but it’s a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

People don't make us angry, how we think makes us angry. -- Marshall
Rosenberg

----

Punishment damages goodwill and self-esteem, and shifts our attention
from the intrinsic value of an action to external consequences. --
Marshall Rosenberg

----

Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

Self-judgments, like all judgments, are tragic expressions of unmet
needs. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of
themselves. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

The Nonviolent Communication process focuses on what's alive in us and
what would make life more wonderful. What's alive in us are our needs,
and I'm talking about the universal needs, the ones all living creatures
have. Our feelings are simply a manifestation of what is happening with
our needs. If our needs are being fulfilled, we feel pleasure. If our
needs are not being fulfilled, we feel pain. Now, this does not exclude
the analytic. I simply differentiate between life-serving analysis
and life-alienated analysis... Analysis is a problem only when it gets
disconnected from serving life. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion. --
Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

The objective of Giraffe is never to get what we want. It’s the development of a quality of connection that allows everyone’s needs to get met. -- Marshall Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2 day course transcript]

----

The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need. --
Marshall Rosenberg

----

This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying
people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately,
it provokes defensiveness, resistance, and counterattack. It is a language
of demands. -- Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication

----

Understanding and connection can transcend conflict. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

Violence is a tragic expression of unmet needs. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts
of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part. --
Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

We give empathy to others for our own benefit. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day2.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a
release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt. -- Marshall
B. Rosenberg

----

We need empathy to give empathy. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

We never really know what we want until after we get it. If after we get
it, it makes life more miserable, we know that isn't what we wanted. If
it makes our life wonderful, we know this is a strategy which will meet
out need. That's why Paul Tillich, the theologian says we need to sin
courageously. You ask for what you want, hoping to meet your needs. If you
get it and it makes life worse, you learn that this isn't what I want. --
Marshall Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent Communication, DVD-1.

----

We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather
than self-hatred. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather
than out of fear, guilt, shame or obligation. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

We're not taught to think in terms of needs. We don't make nice dead
people when we're in touch with needs. Domination structures cannot
maintain themselves when citizens are educated to be alive. -- Marshall
B. Rosenberg, "Couples Longest Running Conflict Story", from the CD,
"Creating a Life Serving System Within Oneself".

---

We have been educated, for a long time, to fit within domination structures:
to do what authority says. When you want people to be nice, dead people and
do what authority says, the last thing you want them to be conscious of is
the life within them. You cannot make a good slave out of somebody who is
fully alive. The last thing you want to teach people, if you want a domination structure, is for them to be in touch with their needs. You ought to teach
them that the highest value is not a need to express their needs. "Needs"
means you are needy, selfish, dependent, egotistical. Loving women have no
needs; they suppress their needs, for their family. Brave men have no needs;
they are willing to lose their lives for the king. That is why we do not
know what our needs are. I went to schools for twenty-one years. Not only
was I never asked what I was feeling; I certainly was never asked what my
needs were! -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, Source: http://www.goodradioshows.org/peaceTalksL36.html

----

What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others
based on a mutual giving from the heart. -- Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent
Communication

----

When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

When I recognize I’ve got anger, then I realize it’s because I have a need that’s not being met. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg, [http://www.cnvc.org/cls1day1.htm 2-day advanced intensive]

----

When we hear the other person's feeling and needs, we recognize our
common humanity. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as
monsters. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg [http://www.listeningway.com/marshall-empathy1.html Source]

----

When we understand the needs that motivate our own and other's behavior,
we have no enemies. -- Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.

----

When you are in a jackal environment, never give them the power to submit
or rebel. We want to teach this to children very early: Never lose
track that you are always free to choose. Don't allow institutions to
determine what you do. -- Marshall Rosenberg, The Basics of Nonviolent
Communication, DVD-1.

----

When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy. -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

Whenever you make a request of someone, hand them a little card which
says this on it: "Please do as I requested, only if you can do so with
the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck. Please do not do as I
request if there is any taint of fear of punishment if you don't. Please
do not do as I request to buy my love, that, is hoping that I will love
you more if you do. Please do not do as I request if you will feel
guilty if you don't. Please do not do as I request if you will feel
shameful. And certainly do not do as I request out of any sense of duty
or obligation." -- Marshall Rosenberg

----

With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves. --
Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

You don't have to be brilliant. It's enough to become progressively less
stupid. -- Marshall B. Rosenberg

----

You're going to lose it when you follow the world "feel" with the words
"because I think". Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting
what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word
"think" with the word "you". I predict you won't only not get heard,
but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction. -- Marshall Rosenberg,
The Basics of Nonviolent Communication, DVD-1.

----

Educators committed to engaging in the long-term, often difficult
work of strengthening their relationships with colleagues, students
and parents and expanding their opportunities for personal growth will
find Nonviolent Communication to be an invaluable tool. -- Ron Rubin,
safe schools consultant, Vermont Department of Education

----

[W]e have to live over into the other; we have to dissolve with our soul
into the other. -- Rudolf Steiner 11/10/1919

----

Come out of the circle of time, and into the circle of love. -- Rumi

----

O, Great Spirit, open my eyes, open heart's wings, open my ears to your
voice in all things. -- Rumi

----

Out Beyond Ideas of Right Doing and Wrong Doing, There is a Field. I'll
Meet you There -- Rumi

----

As a school counselor, I implemented a 2 year anti-bullying program at
the international school where I currently work. I used Marshall's work
and wisdom throughout the program and am happy to report that we reduced
bullying by 26% -- Nicki Ruud, Ed.D., school counselor, International School of Helsinki,
(as reported on a student questionnaire designed by Dr. Dan Olweus).

----

All adults should learn how to use the skills expressed in Dr.
Rosenberg's book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. The
outcome would be that children would be accustomed to the language of
positive, nonviolent forms of communication that will aid them throughout
their lives. Dr. Rosenberg, you are a peacemaker!? -- Nancy Sager,
principal, Sante Fe Montessori School

----

I want to appreciate you without judging. Join you without
invading. Invite you without demanding. Leave you without guilt. --
Virgina Satir

----

You can't walk a mile in someone else's shoes until you take off your
own shoes. - Native American Saying

----

As a family physician, I have used NVC in my daily work with patients
for almost 10 years. We have much more of a cooperative relationship than
before, and NVC has helped me and my patients save time and unnecessary
investigations and visits. As a leader of a health care center for about
18 years, NVC has helped me create a climate of trust, understanding
and joy for my staff. -- Ola Schenstrom, MD, chief physician and family
physician; Lulea, Sweden

----

When we teach people to think in terms of enemy images, the bombs are
not very far. -- Andrew Schumaker

----

Violence begins with language. If we can change our communication, we can
change our consciousness. Then we can dance with others and create beauty
and harmony instead of war and destruction. -- Mel Sears, California

----

Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever
he does to the web he does to himself. All things are bound together. All
things interconnect. -- Chief Seattle

----

Perhaps I've benefited the most from this tools in how I've applied it to
my own self-talk ? my inner dialog. It's helped me to translate judgments
and self-criticisms, so that I could see what was the life-connected
impulse they were coming from. Then it was easy and joyful to change
without any 'shoulds. I can't say enough good things about my experience
with this tool. -- Alan Seid, Vipassana, Bellingham WA

----

Education is not simply about teachers covering a curriculum; it is a
dance of relationships among the people of the class. The Compassionate
Classroom is a how-to guide that presents a wide range of powerful
communication and relationship tools that will help each child discover
and reach their potential. -- Tim Seldin, president, The Montessori
Foundation

----

When there is a lot of hurt associated with a long-unmet need, the
person receiving the request can feel a heavy burden, sensing an almost
insatiable demand for energy. Caregivers often need empathy around this,
as it can produce a response of fear and self-protection. And people
in desperate pain, to the best of their ability, should become aware of
this, and not become attached to the strategy of a particular person to
meet these needs. When everything is in balance, and all intentions are
in check, a magnificent gift of healing flows in both directions. --
Lynn Senick, (w/development by BH)

----

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. --
William Shakespeare, spoken by Hamlet

----

The only sensible person is my tailor. He measures me anew each time he
sees me. -- George Bernard Shaw

----

Nonviolent Communication is a masterwork. Nationally, we talk peace.
This book goes far beyond mere talk . . . it shows us how to TEACH
peace. -- JAMES E. SHAW, PhD, author of Jack and Jill, Why They Kill

----

Nonviolent Communication is a practical and necessary work that should be
required reading by every state department of education in the nation,
and adopted for immediate and continuous use in our school districts.
Nationally, we talk peace. This book goes far beyond mere talk - it shows
us how to TEACH peace. -- James E. Shaw, Ph.D., author, Jack and Jill,
Why They Kill

----

Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the
shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then
listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. --
Shel Silverstein

----

Marshall Rosenberg, who teaches non-violent communication, was struck in
reading psychological interviews with Nazi war criminals not by their
abnormality, but that they used a language denying choice: "should,"
"one must," "have to." For example, Adolph Eichmann was asked, "Was
it difficult for you to send these tens of thousands of people their
death?" Eichmann replied, "To tell you the truth, it was easy. Our
language made it easy." Asked to explain, Eichmann said, "My fellow
officers and I coined our own name for our language. We called it
amtssprache -- 'office talk.'" In office talk "you deny responsibility
for your actions. So if anybody says, 'Why did you do it?' you say, 'I
had to.' 'Why did you have to?' 'Superiors' orders. Company policy. It's
the law.'" -- Sam Smith, Minutes of the Wannsee Conference, from the book
"Why Bother", on the normalization of violence

----

I know nothing, except that I know nothing. -- Socrates

----

NVC is using precision in language to gain a deeper connection with myself. -- Leo Sofer [http://compassionateleadership.squarespace.com/trainers/ Source]

----

If it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere
insidiously committing evil deeds and it were necessary only to separate
them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good
and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing
to destroy a piece of his own heart? -- Alexsandr Solzhenitsyn

----

Changing the way the world works sounds daunting, but Nonviolent
Communication helps liberate us from ancient patterns of violence.
FRANCIS LEFKOWITZ, Body & Soul

----

I have never read a clearer, more straightforward, insightful book
on communication. After studying and teaching assertiveness since the
'70s, this book is a breath of fresh air. Nonviolent Communication adds
brilliant insight into the linkage of feelings and needs and taking
responsibility and creates a true tool. Amazingly easy to read, great
examples, and challenging to put into practice - this book is a true
gift to all of us. -- A reader in Washington state

----

...Adult listening behaviors become habitual. Our listening behaviors
have been acquired and reinforced over a long period of time. As adults
we rarely think about how we listen or consider that it takes time to
change old habits. We listen the way we do because we have learned to
listen that way. -- Lyman K. Steil, Larry L. Barker, & Kittie W. Watson,
Effective Listening Key To Your Success

----

Every human being shall see in each and all of his fellow-men a hidden
divinity... that every human being is made in the likeness of the
Godhead. When that time comes there will be no need for any religious
coercion; for then every meeting between one man and another will of
itself be in the nature of a religious rite, a sacrament. -- Rudolf
Steiner

----

[I]n the future no human being is to find peace in the enjoyment of
happiness if others beside him are unhappy. -- Rudolf Steiner

----

NVC consulting has helped the members of our organization to connect
and communicate effectively. -- Nate Stewart, MD, orthopedic surgeon

----

With the growth in today's dysfunctional families and the increase
of violence in our schools, Nonviolent Communication is a godsend. --
Linda C. Stoehr, reporter, Los Colinas Business News

----

Listening is a rare happening among human beings. You cannot listen to the
word another is speaking if you are preoccupied with your appearance,
or with impressing the other, or are trying to decide what you are
going to say when the other stops talking, or are debating about whether
what is being said is true or relevant or agreeable. Such matters have
their place, but only after listening to the word as the word is being
uttered. Listening is a primitive act of love in which a person gives
himself to another's word, making himself accessible and vulnerable to
that word. -- William Stringfellow, Friend's Journal

----

Parenting from Your Heart abundantly presents valuable principles
applicable to many family situations. It is perfect for the busy parent
searching for a quick read of practical and productive parenting ideas. --
Win and Bill Sweet, authors, Living Joyfully with Children

----

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed. --
Jonathan Swift

----

As a 62 year old businessman who had a near death experience during a
cardiac arrest puts it - "One thing I learned was that we are all part
of one big, living universe. If we think we can hurt another person or
another living thing without hurting ourselves we are sadly mistaken. I
look at a forest or a flower or a bird now, and say 'That is me, part of
me'. We are connected with all things and if we send love along those
connections, then we are happy. -- Michael Talbot, The Holographic
Universe

----

Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Don't talk or do - just hear me.
Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham
in the same newspaper. And I can do for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. When you do something
for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear
and inadequacy. But when you accept as a simple fact that I feel what I
feel, no matter how irrational, then I can stop trying to convince you
and get about this business of understanding what's behind this irrational
feeling. And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need
advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind
them. Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people -
because God is mute, and he doesn't give advice or try to fix things. God
just listens and lets you work it out for yourself. So please listen,
and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn -
and I will listen to you. -- Alan Taplow (adapted), from PLEASE LISTEN! by
Dr. Ray Houghton, as published in The Promise of Green, edited by Deborah
Roth. [http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/listening/please.html Source]

----

A revolutionary way of looking at language. If enough people actually
make use of the material in Nonviolent Communication we may soon live in
a more peaceful and compassionate world. -- Wes Taylor, Progressive Health

----

This book is essential reading for anyone seeking to end the unfulfilling
cycles of argument in their relationships. Marshall Rosenberg offers
a radical challenge to centuries of thought and language that create
violence. If enough people actually learn Nonviolent Communication we
may soon live in a more peaceful and compassionate world. -- WES TAYLOR,
Progressive Health

----

Love cannot remain by itself - it has no meaning. Love has to be put
into action and that action is service. -- Mother Teresa

----

What you think of me is none of my business! -- Terry Cole-Whittaker,
1982 (book by same name)

----

Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When
someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested
listening, our spirits expand. -- Sue Patton Thoele

----

NVC provides the skills to connect on a heart level with every individual
while practicing mindfulness and the Eightfold Path. Both the books and
the NVC workshops will cultivate a heart of compassion. -- Rusty Thomas,
Vipassana (Insight) Meditation, Minimal Security Unit, Monroe Correctional
Complex, Monroe, WA

----

The first duty of love is to listen. -- Paul Tillich

----

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. When
we really listen to people there is an alternating current, and this
recharges us so that we never get tired of each other. We are constantly
being re-created. -- Brenda Ueland

----

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. --
Unknown

----

We are one, after all, you and I. Together we suffer, together exist,
and forever will recreate each other. -- unknown, Source: Pierre Teilhard
de Chardin

----

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have
not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to
tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to
solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. -- Unknown,
"Listen" (sometimes as "Listen to me")

----

During the 1950s the American psychologist Carl Rogers noticed the
presence of a new faculty in the younger generation for which he used a
word originally coined in 1912: empathy. In fact, what he was describing
is a process which has become part of the experience of an ever-increasing
number of those born after the end of the Second World War. Empathy
arises out of sympathy, love, interest in and compassion for our fellow
human being; it enables us to extend our own inner being into that of the
other person and directly experience something of his essential nature. --
Baruch Luke Urieli, Learning to Experience the Etheric World

----

Nonviolent Communication is a simple yet powerful methodology for
communicating in a way that meets both parties needs. This is one of
the most useful books you will ever read. -- William Ury, co-author,
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In

----

The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the
mind cannot understand. -- Robert Vallett

----

Compassionate Communication changes our consciousness so that the habits of the past
are replaced by the passion of the present. -- Pan Vera, Trainer, Mediator and relationship coach.

----

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg is a great book teaching
a compassionate way to talk to people even if you (or they) are angry. --
Joe Vitale, author, Spiritual Marketing, The Power of Outrageous Marketing

----

Marshall's book profoundly questions present-day thinking on education
and educational structures. The principles in this book can generate
more harmony in our classrooms, homes and societies. All educators and
parents should have Life-Enriching Education. -- Dr. Jeannette Vos,
coauthor, The Learning Revolution

----

In my estimation, NVC is as radical and change-making as the Eight-Fold
Path. I predict that active use of NVC in our sanghas would significantly
cut through frustrations and growing pains. -- Joan Starr Ward, member,
Spirit Rock Center, CA and the Buddhist Peace Fellowship

----

If you have come here to help me then you are wasting your time, but
if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine then
let us work together. -- Lila Watson (aboriginal activist)

----

Usually a person relates to another under the tacit assumption that
the other shares his view of reality, that indeed there is only one
reality.... -- Paul Watzlawick, Psychologist

----

There is only one thing worse than being talked about and that is not
being talked about. -- Oscar Wilde

----

As far as nonviolence and Spiritual Activism, Marshall Rosenberg is
it! Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, is essential reading
for anyone who wants to improve their communication skills. Applying the
concepts within the book will help guide the reader towards a more loving,
compassionate, and nonviolent way of understanding and functioning with
others, and foster more compassion in the world. I highly recommend this
book. -- MARIANNE WILLIAMSON, author of Everyday Grace, President Global
Renaissance Alliance

----

==Also see==

* http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mohandas_Gandhi
* http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Cesar_Chavez

[[fr:Citations]]
[[de:Zitate]]

Songs

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Nvcwikiop: spam

Literature

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Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by ZelreLelpa (Talk); changed back to last version by Mwi

Marshall Rosenberg sometimes mentions this literature in his trainings:

* Becker, Ernest; The revolution in psychiatrv: The new understanding of man. New York, Free Press, 1964.
* Becker, Ernest: The Birth and Death of Meaning. New York, Free Press 1971
* Benedict, Ruth; "Synergy-patterns of the good culture." Psychology Today, 1970.
* Bohm, David, On Dialogue, Routledge, 1996.
* Boserup, Anders; Mack, Andrew: War Without Weapons, Non-Violence in National Defence, New York: Schocken 1975
* Bowles, Samuel and Gintis, Herbert. Schooling in Capitalist America: Educational reform and the contradictions of economic life. New York: Basic Books, 1976.
* Buber, Martin. l and Thou. Scribner, New York. 1958
* Buber, Martin, Ich und Du
* BrÃ¼ck, Horst, Die Angst des Lehrers vor seinen SchÃ¼lern, Rororo, 1978
* BrÃ¼ck, Horst, Seminar der GefÃ¼hle, Rowohlt, 1986.
* Campbell, Joseph, Transformations of Myth Through Time, Harper & Row, 1990
* Campbell, Joseph, The Power of Myth, Anchor, 1991.
* Campbell, Joseph, Myths to Live by, Atlanta, 1993
* Cornell, Ann Weiser; The Power of Focusing: A Practical Guide to Emotional Self-Healing; Oakland, CA; New Harbinger Pub.; 1996
* Craig, James and Marguerite. Synergic Power. Berkeley, Cal.: Proactive Press, 1974
* Dass, Ram: The Only Dance There Is, New York, Harper & Row 1974
* Dass, Ram and Bush, Mirabai; Compassion in action: Setting out on the path of service; Bell Tower, N.Y. 1992
* Dass, Ram, & Gorman, Paul. How can I help?: Stories and reflections on service. New York, Knopf 1985 (dt. Titel: Wie kann ich helfen? Segen und PrÃ¼fung mitmenschlicher Zuwendung, Berlin, Sadhana 1994)
* de Chardin, Teilhard, Die menschliche Energie, 1966.
* Domhoff, G. W., Who Rules America?, Mayfield, 1998
* Ellis, Albert; A guide to rational living. Wilshire Book Co., 1961.
* Eisler Riane, the chalice and the blade, harper collins 1988
* Frankl, Viktor; Das Leiden am sinnlosen Leben, Herder Spektrum
* Frankl, Viktor; Der Mensch vor der Frage nach dem Sinn
* Frankl Viktor; Trotzdem Ja zum Leben sagen - Ein Kurs in Wundern (Original: A Course in Miracles, Penguin Arkana, 1975)
* Freire, Paulo; Pedagogy of the oppressed; Herder and Herder, 1971.
* Fromm, Erich. Escape from freedom. Holt, Rinehart & Winston
* Fromm, Erich. The art of loving. Harper & Row, 1956
* Gendlin, Eugene: Focusing. Selbsthilfe bei der LÃ¶sung persÃ¶nlicher Probleme. Reinbek: Rowohlt 2000
* Glenn, Michael and Kunnes, Richard; Repression or Revolution. Harper and Row 1973.
* Greenburg, Dan and Jacobs, Marcia. How to Make Yourself Miserable. Vintage Books, N. Y. 1987.
* Greenleaf, Robert K., The Power of Servant Leadership, Berrett Koehler 1998
* Harvey, O.J. Conceptual systems and personality organization. Harper & Row, 1961.
* Holt, John. How children fail. Pitman, New York. 1964.
* Johnson, Wendeli. Living with Change. New York: Harper and Row, 1972.
* Katz, Michael. Caste, bureaucracy and the schools.
* Katz, Michael. School reform: Past and present. Boston, Little, Brown & Co., 1971
* Kaufmann, Walter, Without guilt and iustice.
* Kelly, George A. The psychology of personal constructs. Volumes 1 & 2, Norton, New York, 1955
* Kornfield, Jack; A path with heart: A guide through the perils and promises of spiritual life; Bantam Books, N. Y. 1993. (dt.: Geh den Weg des Herzens. Meditationen fÃ¼r den Alltag. KÃ¶sel 1977)
* Krotoschin, Henry, Huna Praxis, Bauer, 1990
* Kurtz, Ernest, & Ketcham, Katherine; The spirituality of imperfection: Modern wisdom from classic stories; Bantam Books, N.Y.1992.
* Kushner, Harold: wenn guten Menschen BÃ¶ses widerfÃ¤hrt, 1986
* Lerner, M., Spirit Matters, Walsch Books, 2000.
* Lyon, Gracie. Constructive Criticism. Oakland, Cal.:IRT Press, 1977
* Macy, Joanna, Coming Back to Life: Practices to Reconnect Our Lives, Our World, New Society Publications, 1998.
* Macy, Joanna, Thich Nhat Hanh, World as Lover, World as Self, Parallax, 1991.
* Maslow, Abraham. Toward a psychology of being. Van Nostrand. Princeton, N.J. 1962
* McLaughlin, Corinne and Davidson, Gordon; Spiritual Politics: Changing the World from the Inside Out. Ballantine Books, N. Y . 1994.
* Milgram, Stanley. Obedience to authority. New York: Harper and Row, 1974 (dt.: Das Milgram-Experiment. Zur Gehorsamkeit gegenÃ¼ber AuthoritÃ¤t. Rowohlt 2000)
* Muller, Wayne; How, Then, Shall We Live; New York; Bantam Books, 1996.
* Muller, Wayne, Legacy of the Heart, The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood, Fireside, 1993
* Petersen, Hans-Christian; Open Space in Aktion, Junfermann
* Postman, Neil, and Weingartner, Charles, Teaching as a subversive activity. Delacorte, 1969.
* Postman, Neil, and Weingartner, Charles. The soft revolution: A student handbook fÃ¼r turning schools around. Delta, New York 1971
* Powell, John, The secret of staying in love. Argus, Niles, Illinois 1974.
* Powell, John, Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?
* Roach, Geshe Micheal, The Diamond Cutter, The Buddha on Strategies for Managing your Business and your Life, Doubleday, 2000
* Rogers, Carl. Freedom to learn. Charles E. Merrill, 1969.
* Rogers, Carl, Freedom to Learn tor the 80s, 1983.
* Rogers, Carl, Client-centered Therapy
* Rogers Carl; Die nicht-direktive Beratung. Counseling and Psychotherapy
* Rogers, Carl With E.T. Gendlin, D.J. Kiesler, and C.B. Truax (Eds.). The therapeutic relationship and its impact: A study of psychotherapy with schizophrenics. Madison: University of Wisconsin Press, 1967.
* Rogers, Carl. On personal power. Delacorte, New York 1977
* Rokeach, Milton: the open and closed mind
* Rokeach, Milton: the nature of human values
* Rokeach, Milton: understanding human values: individual and societal
* Rosenberg, Marshall. Mutual Education. Seattle: Special Child Publications, 1972
* Ryan, William, Blaming the Victim. New York: Vintage Books, 1971.
* Scheff, Thomas; Labeling Madness. Englewood Cliffs, N.J. Prentice- Hall, 1975
* Sharp, Gene. Social Power and Political Freedom. Boston. Porter Sargent. 1980
* Schumacher, E. F., A guide fÃ¼r the perplexed, Abacus, 1977. (z.B. vier Fragen: Was geht wirklich in meiner inneren Welt vor? Was geht in der inneren Welt anderer Wesen vor? Wie sehe ich in den Augen anderer Wesen aus? Was beobachte ich in der Welt um mich herum?)
* Schumacher, E. F., Small is Beautiful, A Study of Economics as if People Mattered, Abacus, 1975.
* Schumacher, E. F., Good Work, Abacus, 1980.
* Steiner, Claude: Wie man LebensplÃ¤ne verÃ¤ndert. Junfermann 2000
* Szasz, Thomas, The Myth of Mental Illness, Harper & Collins, 1984.
* Szasz, Thomas; Ideology and Insanity. New York: Doubleday, 1970.
* Tagore, Rabindranath: Sadhana. Der Weg zum wahren Leben. Hyperion 1996
* Whitehead, J., Action Research in Organisations (J. McNiff ed.), Routledge, 2001.
* Whitman, Walt; The Complete Poems, Viking Press, 1990
* Wilber, Ken, Grace and Grit, Shambala, 1991 (Deutsch: Mut und Gnade / Ken Wilber erzÃ¤hlt die Geschichte seiner grossen Liebe zu Treya Wilber, die an Brustkrebs starb)
* Wilber, Ken, A Brief History of Everything, Gill & Macmillan, 1996
* Wilber, Ken, The Marriage of Sense and Soul - Integrating Science and Religion, Broadway Books, 1998
* Wingo, Otha, Das Huna Arbeitsbuch, Knaur, 1994
* Wink, Walter. Engaging the Powers. Fortress Press, Minneapolis, 1992.
* Wink, Walter; The Powers That Be: Theology For A New Millenium. Doubleday, NY 1998.
* Witten, Dona, Akong Rinpoche, Beruf als Weg, Theseus, 1998.

Stories

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Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by RelouBoctr (Talk); changed back to last version by Bcorr

This page contains a collection of stories that people use for [[remembering|rememberings]] or that somehow illustrate specific aspects of [[NVC]].

* A [[Leaves of Grass|Poem]] out of [[Leaves of Grass]] by Walt Whitman
* [[The Dakini Speaks]] by Joyce Wellwood

Restorative justice

2007-11-29T06:32:44Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by EltroRolbo (Talk); changed back to last version by Fremath

== Marshall Rosenberg at ''NVC in restorative settings'' ==
London 13th june 2002

Transcript of role-play

Restorative justice Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??conferenceÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ between victim and perpetrator of sexual offence

'''Background information'''

In this role-play, Marshall was demonstrating how a facilitator can use NVC to help both victim and perpetrator to reach a point where healing from their respective pain becomes possible.

As facilitator, he made reference to, but did not specify, the request that the victim would be invited to make of the perpetrator. He also recognised all the work the perpetrator might have to do to get in touch with his feelings and needs at the time of the offence, before taking part in the Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??conferenceÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ with the victim.

Marshall was playing the three roles of:
* Restorative justice facilitator
* Victim of a sexual offence
* Perpetrator of the offence

=== NVC in RJ: outline of the process ===

'''Step 1:''' In advance of the meeting, the facilitator coaches the perpetrator to express himself in terms of feelings and needs and to hear the feelings and needs behind whatever the victim may say. Wherever possible, the facilitator will coach the victim in a similar way.

The amount of coaching needed will vary from one person to another.

'''Step 2:''' The victim articulates the pain that he/she feels in relation to the perpetratorÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s actions. The perpetrator, with the support of the facilitator, reflects back to the victim all those feelings that are still alive in the victim in relation to the perpetratorÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s action(s).

In Nonviolent Communication, this is described as giving empathy. This process can take some time but should continue until it is clear that the victim feels satisfaction at being fully understood. Until this happens, we predict that the victim will not be able to hear the perpetratorÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s feelings and needs, and this will restrict the depth of the healing process.

'''Step 3:''' The perpetrator goes deep inside himself and articulates what he feels in response and his own needs that were not met by his actions.

In Nonviolent Communication, this is described as mourning, and is fundamentally different from any process that encourages the perpetrator to feel guilt or shame.

'''Step 4:''' The perpetrator says what was going on in him when he did what he did, that is, the feelings and needs that led him to act in this way.

This is very different from explaining or justifying what he did: for example, Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??because I was abused as a childÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢.

The victim reflects back to the perpetrator the feelings and needs that were alive in the perpetrator that led him to act as he did.

In other words, the victim gives the perpetrator empathy.
Step 4 provides the foundation for further restorative work with the perpetrator: it can help the perpetrator to find new, more constructive ways of meeting his needs in the future.

'''Step 5:''' The victim and perpetrator make specific requests of each other.

We believe it is vital for the facilitator to check whether either party needs to do this in order to complete the healing process.

This cycle of empathy and understanding for the victimÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s pain, mourning for the perpetratorÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s actions and understanding how the perpetrator came to do it, maximises the chance of healing taking place for both parties.

=== Transcript ===

My preference is, if we have the opportunity, to get victim and offender together.

LetÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s say the victim is a woman who has been raped. There are two ingredients: expressing from the heart, and empathy. HereÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s how itÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s going to look. The first thing IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m going to do is get the perpetrator to empathically connect with whatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s alive in the victim. I give the victim a chance to express herself and get empathy from the perpetrator.

Most of the time, when people think they want to punish somebody, I think the Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??needÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ behind it - punishment - is a strategy not a need. I think one of their needs is that they want the other person to know how they suffered. But where in our society do we ever see that happen? The only thing that people can think of is just to be victimised - and nothing happens - or punishment. Those are the only two options that we see. IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ve yet to see any victim whoÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s gone through what IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m going to demonstrate now that afterwards would rather have seen the other person punished. The victims all they want very often is to see the other person suffer.

HereÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s what IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m going to do. IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m going to start by helping this perpetrator to empathise with the person who he raped. (NB: this corresponds to Step 2)

Victim: Do you know what it was like to be held down and have this happen to you? Do you know how much I suffered? How horrible that is? You monsterÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã?Â¦, you ass hole. IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢d like to see you dead.

Facilitator to perpetrator: I want you to connect with what she saying. What is she feeling right now?

Perpetrator: IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m sorry.

Facilitator to perpetrator: No apologies. Apologies are too cheap. I want you to tell her what you heard her say sheÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s feeling.

(Pause)

Facilitator to perpetrator IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m going to tell you what I heard, and then I want you to repeat it.

Facilitator to victim: If I heard you correctly, youÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ve got a whole bunch of feelings. You feel rage that anything like this could happen to you and you want some understanding also for how frightened you were to have this happen to you.

Victim: Not only that, but itÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s two years ago and thereÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s not a day in my life when I donÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t live my life without suffering.

Facilitator to victim: So in addition to that, you want some understanding for the amount of suffering that goes on every day, for the fear that stays in you.

Victim: Yes

Facilitator to perpetrator: OK. Say back what you heard her feeling. What is she feeling and needing? (Pause) You want me to say it again?

Perpetrator: No, let me try. (Addressing victim) You think IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m a monster.

Facilitator to perpetrator: ThatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s the easy part. I want you to hear her feelings and needs. What feelings and needs is she expressing to you?

Perpetrator: SheÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s furious. She wants me to know what it was like to be forced to have sex, and to be held down.

Facilitator to perpetrator: What else?

Perpetrator: I donÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t know

Facilitator to perpetrator: Let me tell you what else I hear her say. She wants you to hear how terrified she was and how that terror stays with her and she hasnÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t had a day free of pain since then. Say it back.

Perpetrator: She was terrified then, and sheÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s been terrified every day since then.

Facilitator to victim: Is this what you want you wanted him to hear?

Victim: More than that, more than that.

OK, so we go on for a while. This pain can be very deep, so I help the perpetrator hear that. ThatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s the first step. Until this person feels fully understood.

Facilitator to victim: Do you feel understood?

Victim: Yes.

Now the next thing IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m going to do is help the perpetrator mourn Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?? not apologise, mourn. Mourning requires going deep into yourself. Apology is cheap. ItÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s easy to say youÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢re sorry, but what does that mean? People have learned since the time theyÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ve been a child that you say that just to get forgiven. There need be no sincerity in it, no real feeling in it. But in what we call mourning, we want this person to go deep inside. (NB: this corresponds to Step 3)

Facilitator to perpetrator: So tell her what you feel right now, hearing what sheÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s gone through.

Perpetrator: I think I should be punished.

Facilitator: Not what you think should happen to you Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?? what you feel right now.

Perpetrator: I feel like IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m an asshole.

Facilitator: Calling you names isnÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t the answer. I want you to go inside and tell me how you feel.

Perpetrator: DonÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t make me do that.

Facilitator: ItÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s terrifying to go inside and really see how it feels to do something like this. ItÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s so much easier to call yourself a name. Or to say she asked for it, or to justify yourself. ThatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s easy, but to go inside after youÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ve seen how the other person has suffered. To go inside and to really express how you feel Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?? itÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s scary. So I want you to go inside and tell me how you feel now that you see how sheÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s suffered.

Perpetrator: I feel sad. I feel sad.

Facilitator: What needs of yours were not met by your behaviour?

Perpetrator: ThatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s not how I want to treat people, man. ThatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s not how I want to treat people.

OK, thatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s what we call mourning. IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m shortening the process, but thatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s mourning: going inside and really looking at how you feel about what youÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ve done. And connecting it to needs of yours Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?? your own Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?? that werenÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t met by your own actions. ThatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s far scarier but more sincere than an apology.

(NB: This next part corresponds to Step 4 in the summary above.)

Facilitator to Perpetrator: Now I want you to tell her what was going on in you when you did it. What were you feeling when you did it. What needs of yours were you trying to meet when you did it?

Now itÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s interesting how in this part, the victim, before I even ask for it, after they get the understanding for their suffering, almost always theyÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢re screaming something like this: How could you do it? How could you do it?

For healing to take place, there first needs to be the original empathy, the understanding, but then we also need to know Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??how could this person do it?Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢. Because until we can really understand the other person and see why they did what they did, we canÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t forgive them and we canÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t heal until we can forgive them.

Now in NVC empathy and forgiveness are the same thing. When we empathise, thereÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s nothing to forgive. But we also stress in our work: donÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t go too quickly to getting the victim to understand the other person. Almost from the very beginning, some people in their lives have been encouraging them to forgive, to understand the other person. And if they do that before the first part, before they get fully understood for their suffering, the understanding they give to the other person can only be superficial. And it cuts their own healing. But when theyÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ve had the understanding they need, they are usually hungry to understand what could have been going on in the other person when they did what they did.

Facilitator to perpetrator: So I want you to tell her now what was going on in you at the moment you were doing this. What was going on?

And now I help the prisoner to identify and articulate what feelings and needs were alive in him when he did it. And then I ask the victim to empathise with that, to tell me back what she hears was going on in him when he did it. What was he feeling? What was he needing?

When that happens, itÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s amazing the transformation that has occurred. These two people at that point are joined in a way thatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s going to make the next step much easier. The next step is now the restorative process. What in addition is needed for both parties to feel healed in this? And thatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s simply a matter of what request do you have of one another now?

So thatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s a quick overview of how we do restorative justice using NVC.

Question from the audience: What is the difference between an apology and mourning?

HereÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s what the person always wants to do:

Perpetrator: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m sorry, IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m an asshole. Kill me.Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢

Facilitator: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??ThatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s what I call an apology Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?? saying Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m wrong, I deserve to sufferÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢. ThatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s how people have been educated. How long have you thought you were an asshole?

Perpetrator: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??My whole life.Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢

Facilitator: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??Has that kept you from doing this?

Perpetrator: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??NoÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢.

Facilitator: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??ItÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s not what IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m asking you Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?? how you think you are. I want to know how you feel. How do you feel?Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢

Perpetrator: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m sorryÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢

Facilitator: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??No, that word doesnÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t tell me anything. YouÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ve probably been saying youÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢re sorry for everything youÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ve done. YouÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ve probably been educated to do that by rote. If somebody thinks youÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢re wrong, you say youÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢re sorry and then youÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢re forgiven. No, thatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s too cheap. I want you to go inside and really tell me how you feel now that you see whoÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s suffering.Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢

Almost always, they say Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??donÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t make me do thatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢. ItÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s painful to go inside and really see how painful it is to have done things to another person. ItÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s not shame. The shame comes by self-violence Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?? by thinking that what you did was wrong. ThatÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s too easy. Shame is too superficial. And itÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s a form of violence towards self. I want this person to go in and suffer naturally but deeply. ItÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s a natural feeling when we see that we have done something that didnÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t serve life. We have strong feelings but never shame or guilt. The feelings are often a deep sadness. A deep despair. A deep fear. Very often itÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??IÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢m scared to death to think I could have done something like that to someone.Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢ Deep, deep feelings. But not shame, guilt.

Shame and guilt come about through self violence. Thinking that what you did means thereÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s something wrong with you.

Perpetrator: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??But there is something wrong with me, man. Look what I did to herÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢.

Facilitator: Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã??WeÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢re going to get later to why you did it. ItÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s too easy to think thereÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢s something wrong with you. I want you to go inside now and tell me how you feel about having done it. I donÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t want to hear you judge yourself. Judging yourself is only going to make you more violent. I want you to mourn, I donÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t want you to apologise.Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢

And then after the mourning, we go inside and then we empathise with the reasons why the person did it. You see, the reason a person does this is always to meet a human need or one or more needs.

Now, very often in the work we do in prisons, we donÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t have the victims available. So I play the role of the victim, and the work we do with the prisoner is to get them to empathise with their victims, to role-play Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?? so we go through the process even when we donÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t have access to the victims. But we want them to empathise with the suffering created by their acts. We want them to mourn it and then we want them to forgive themselves by empathising fully with what needs of theirs they were trying to meet by doing that. It doesnÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t justify the behaviour. It just means that when they can see the good reasons why they did it Ã?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?? the good reasons mean they were trying the best they knew how to meet human needs. Then we can start trying to find other ways of meeting those needs that donÃ?Â¢Ã¢?Â¬Ã¢?Â¢t violate other people.

== Transcription and translation procedure ==

* Transcribed by Jo McHale from a recording by Beauchamp Bagenal
* [[:fr:Justice rÃ??Ã?Â©paratrice]] : first translation to french
* [[Translation procedure]] initiated by [http://godfreyspencer.com Godfrey Spencer]

== External links ==

* [http://www.restorativejustice.org/ Restorative justice on line] (using [http://plone.org/ Plone] :)

[[fr:Justice rÃ??Ã?Â©paratrice]]

Sociocracy in NVC

2007-11-29T06:30:37Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by SitouRictr (Talk); changed back to last version by Jwbrown518

The international NVC movement has recently begun integrating principles of [http://www.sociocracy.biz/ Sociocracy] with NVC. Our [http://www.cnvc.org/sociocracy.htm CNVC organization] has begun using Sociocracy for Board/GCC meetings, and several regions of the world are creating Circles. This area on NVCwiki is for discussion of whether and how principles and techniques of Sociocracy might be added to NVC. Already there are many indications that this combination contributes toward more harmony and effectiveness in NVC groups and organizations. This wiki also has a [[Sociocratic Circle Area]] for Circles to collaborate, post minutes, etc.

==Circles==
The word "circle" is used in Sociocracy to describe a group of people using the sociocratic process as a strategy for ensuring everyone's needs are met. For groups forming or interested in creating or joining Circles, we invite you to participate in the [[Sociocratic Circle Area]] on this wiki.

==Updates from Sociocracy Consultant John Buck==
===2006 - September 25 Update===
'''Update on the GCC and development of sociocracy in the NVC community (as of September 25, 2006)'''
The Global Coordinating Committee (GCC) has taken on the functions of what was previously called the CNVC Board, while adding a broader mandate. The idea for creating a GCC grew out of a special working session held with Marshall and Valentina at their home in Albuquerque last March. Other persons attending that session were: Jori Manske, Jim Manske, Stefan Wisbauer, John Buck, and Barbara Larson. Unlike the former board, the GCC will include delegates proposed by the NVC community from different regions of the world so that it becomes a voice of the whole community. The following report summarizes progress to date in creating the GCC.

====Teleclasses====
John Buck, Mitch Henrion, and Glenda Mattinson (certified NVC trainer) are offering teleclasses on sociocracy as a way to get training out to the NVC community more rapidly and less expensively. Two prototype teleclasses were held during June and July. Based on the experience with those classes, Glenda completely revamped the class materials. New 6-session teleclasses start on October 17 and 26 and are being offered through www.growingcompassion.org.

====GCC & Sociocracy wiki pages====
John Wiley has set up areas entitled â€œ[[GCC Area]]â€ and [[Sociocratic Circle Area]] on the NVC Wiki for regional, area, or other circles to post their minutes and coordinate with each other.

====SEA/O Delegate====
Certified trainers in the South and Eastern Asia/Oceania region met by phone earlier this year and proposed Liz Gay as their delegate to the GCC. Liz has been serving on the GCC since June.

====Francophile Delegate====
Anne Bourritt, who was selected as a nominee to the Global Coordinating Council (GCC) from the Francophile region will be unable to participate on the GCC until 2007. An alternate nominee is being sought. The proposed alternate may be selected at a meeting in the Francophile region in September. Sociocratic consultant Gilles Charest will be supporting that meeting.

====ENACC Delegate & News====
Delegates selected by various local and area groups in North America met for the first time as the English-speaking North American Coordinating Council (ENACC) in August and proposed Jeff Brown as their delegate to the GCC. ENACC had its first meeting on Sunday, August 13. Jeff joined the GCC later in August. In its September 15 meeting ENACC selected a meeting facilitator, heard Jeff Brown's report, and began the process of assessing how it wants to develop itself. Some expressed concern that there was no opportunity to provide input about the format of the delegate selection process. One ENACC near term goal will be to develop a more inclusive selection process that ensures that participants will be better acquainted with each other.

UPDATE 6/25/07:

The ENACC disbanded in December 2006 and as far as I know has been inactive since that time.

-- Jeff Brown

====Eastern Europe Liaison====
At its September meeting the GCC invited Monica Reu to join it as liaison from Eastern Europe.

====Deutsch (German) Update====
Pieter van der Meche (sociocratic consultant from Netherlands) has been working with the German-speaking region to organize circles in preparation for selecting a delegate to the GCC - possibly at a regional meeting 4-5 October 2006. Per Marshall's request a project circle has been formed to coordinate his visit in 2007. Pieter is helping to incorporate this project circle into the circle structure that he has been helping to develop. Some voices in Germany have said that they do not think it is a good idea to select a delegate from Germany because it contributes to creating a hierarchy that they fear will start to accumulate power-over. Pieter is encouraging everyone to explore options. Jori Manske is planning to attend the October 2006 meeting.

====Scandinavia Update====
Annewiek Reijmer, (sociocratic consultant from the Netherlands) provided a training on sociocracy in Scandinavia, 16-17 September 2006. Jori Manske attended this meeting. The gathering selected Kirsten Kristensen as a proposed Scandanavian delegate to the GCC. She will not be able to attend the GCC face-to-face meeting October and will try to identify an alternate.

====British Isles Update====
Members of the NVC community in the British Isles are planning a training about sociocracy in Findhorn December 1-3. A number of NVC community members in that area have been meeting by phone and have discussed selecting a nominee to the GCC. The selection has been delayed due to concerns about inclusiveness. Mitch Henrion is supporting them.

====Costa Rica Update====
Juan Enrique Toro of Costa Rica is working to organize Spanish- and Portuguese-speaking members of the NVC community to select a nominee to the GCC.

====Middle East Exploration====
Jori has been working with the NVC community in the Middle East to explore their possible interest in further organizing.

====Africa Update====
Dunia Hategekimana, head of the NVC Africa project, and Mitch Henrion are planning a phone conversation about the possibility of forming a regional coordinating council for Africa and selecting a GCC nominee from that area.

====Circle Structure Development====
John Buck is assisting Jori Manske in building a structure of regional and local NVC circles. If you have questions, comments, or suggestions about this process, please send them to Louise Romain at louise.romain@wanadoo.fr. Louise will compile them and provide them to Jori, John, and the GCC.

===2006 - August 12 Update===
'''Update on implementation of sociocracy (August 2006)'''
All: Here is an update on implementation of Sociocracy as of August 12, 2006.

(1) Anne B, selected as a nominee to the Global Coordinating Council (GCC) from the Francophile region will be unable to participate on the GCC until 2007. An alternate nominee is being sought.

(2) John W set up an area entitled GCC Area has been set up on the NVC Wiki for regional, area, or other circles to post their minutes and coordinate with each other.

(3) Fifteen delegates to an as-yet-not-yet-met English-speaking North American Coordinating Council (ENACC) have been identified from around the U.S. and Canada. ENACC had its first meeting on Sunday, August 13. Jeff Brown was selected as as a nominee to the GCC.

(4) Pieter van der Meche (sociocratic consultant from Netherlands) has been working with the German-speaking region to organize circles in preparation for selecting a delegate to the GCC - possibly at the meeting 4-5 Octobe 2006. Per Marshall's request a project circle has been formed to coordinate his visit in 2007. Pieter is helping to incorporate this project circle into the circle structure that he has been helping to develop. One certified trainer in Germany and his wife have said that they do not think it is a good idea to select a delegate from Germany because it contributes to creating a hierarchy that they fear will start to accumulate power-over. Pieter is encouraging everyone to explore options. Jori is planning to attend the October 2006 meeting.

(5) Members of the NVC community in Eastern Europe have discussed the possibility of selecting a delegate to the GCC and a collective decision has been made to refrain from doing so at this time. Members are currently developing skill-sets (e.g. getting used to teleconferencing and/or sociocratic processes, finding ways to hook people who cannot afford international telephone charges into conference calls, etc.) that may allow participation in the future.

(6) A training is planned in Scandinavia 16-17 September 2006 that may result in selection of a delegate to the GCC. Jori will be attending this meeting.

(7) Members of the NVC community in the British Isles are planning a training about sociocracy in Findhorn in December. Several NVC community members have been meeting by phone and have discussed selecting a nominee to the GCC. The selection has been delayed due to concerns about inclusiveness.

(8) Juan Enrique Toro of Costa Rica has been working to organize Spanish and Portuguese speaking members of the NVC community to select a nominee to the GCC. I have not been contacted by anyone wishing to organize selection of a delegate to the GCC from other language/geographic areas: e.g., Middle East, Africa outside of the Francophone area.

(9) A Middle East Circle meeting is being planned for 26 August by teleconference. Jori will be attending.

(10) My associates and I are developing teleclasses on sociocracy as rapidly as possible as a way to get training out the to NVC community more rapidly and less expensively. Two prototype classes were held during June and July. Based on the experience with those classes, we plan to announce shortly the start up of new teleclasses in late September.
- John Buck (with additions by Jori)

===2006 - June Update===
[[Update on implementation of Sociocracy]] (June 2006)

== From the Representative for South & East Asia/Oceania - August 2006 ==

Members in the S&EA/O Circle (formally established in May 2006) request clarity around the Board's intention/not to implement a sociocratic system INSIDE the US-registered 501c3 legal entity.

Members will also enjoy hearing what support, if any, the Board/GCC might be willing to contribute to those geographical areas that have yet to uncover the technological or financial resources that would allow them to participate in a sociocratic system.

- Liz Gay

==From CNVC Executive Director - June 14, 2006==
I am very excited to share one of the ways we at CNVC are developing
opportunities for everyone who values NVC to be connected. Stronger
connections within the NVC network have the potential to enhance
significantly our ability to share NVC more widely, more quickly, and
with more fun through increased coordination of activities, mutual
support, and sharing of ideas and information. Through nonviolent
"power with" governance and a representational organizational
structure we hope to build connections which will increase the joy of
cooperation, and contribute more broadly.

On May 10, 2006 after a period of open comment in the network, the
CNVC Board approved the proposal to create a NVC Global Coordinating
Council (GCC), which will eventually include regional delegates from
all parts of the world, provide ongoing awareness of needs in the
network, and contribute to devising effective strategies to support
those needs being meet.

The current strategy is to form a GCC with initial delegates in the
next few months. The initial delegates will have relatively short
terms so that we can repeat the selection process later this year or
early next year with a more inclusive process. The initial delegates
will provide us with invaluable insights into what we need to
consider as we design a process that will eventually include every
person who would like to be involved. Liz Gay, selected from Asia
Pacific became the first delegate to the GCC in May, and Anne
Bourritt, has been nominated by the French-speaking region (including
participants from Canada). Organizing activities regarding selection
of GCC nominees are occurring in other language/geographic regions
as well.

The initial delegates will be helping to develop ways to include
individuals or groups who want to be involved (in selecting a
nominee) to notify us of their interest, perhaps through our website.

We hope to then to have a process for connecting those individuals
and groups with others in their geographical area (by telephone
perhaps, as will be attempted in North America) to select a nominee
from their local area.

A group of such local area reps will then select a representative for
a larger geographic area. That delegate will then be part of a group
selecting a delegate for an even larger geographic area. This process
will continue until there are about five to ten people from around the
world serving on the Global Coordinating Council.

To see more on CNVC organizational implementation of nonviolent
governance since February 2005 go to:
http://www.cnvc.org/sociocracy.htm and download attachment 3 in
English or German

For more information on sociocracy and nonviolent governance,
including organizational linking and decisions by mutual consent go to:
http://www.cnvc.org/sociocracy.htm and download attachment 4 in
English or German
and
http://www.sociocracy.info/about.html

In connection, 
Jori Manske 
Interim Director and Certified Trainer

==fr:Sociocratie en CNV==
[[fr:Sociocratie en CNV]]

CNVC IT Committee

2007-11-29T06:29:07Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by OuereLdarb (Talk); changed back to last version by Nvcwikiop

Document collaboration "article" area for CNVC Information Technology (IT) Committee. Welcome to the discussion. Please also check out the newer ''[[NVC IT Status]]'' area on this wiki, started by Jacob. Click '''[[Open software | here]]''' for a description of [[Open software | free and open software that can support the NVC community]].

NOTE: To keep spammers from trashing this page only registered users (free) can comment here. To reduce the chance of inadvertent deletions please edit only the section you'd like to comment on by clicking "edit" in the right margin at the top of that section rather than on "edit" at top of the entire page. Anyone unregistered wanting to comment can still post to the "Talk" page that's associated with this one - just click on "discussion" at the top of this "Article" page. If you have Firefox with Chatzilla you can also click on this link to see if anyone's on the international NVC live chat IRC forum: irc://irc.freenode.net#nvc.

Draft Mission 
To research technical solutions to problems identified by members of the IT committee, staff, contributors to the Board/GCC and members in the NVC network; and to formulate strategies in support of the acquisition, implementation and distribution of these technical solutions to those who require them.

=[[Talk:CNVC_IT_Committee|ITC Questions & Discussion]]=
Click on the title of this ITC Q&D section to visit the "Talk" page CNVC Information Technology (IT) page on NVCwiki. Clicking on this section's link takes you to the same page as clicking on the "discussion" link at the very top of the page. In that Talk area is where we can discuss and ask questions, while this "article" area you are viewing right now is best suited to building documents and lists.

=[[ITC Call Agenda]]=
Click on the title of the [[ITC Call Agenda]] page to visit that area for planning an agenda for ITC calls.

----
=Needs Assessments=
*RFP For A CNVC Online Partnership Community ([[June 11/06]]).
*Wiki version of an [[RFP]].
*[[Data tables]] from the end of that RFP, split off to another page.
*[[Spreadsheet]] converted to html, so it's a tad messy.
*[[IT Survey]].

Click on a color/bold word in this section to see the item.

----

=IT Priorities=
==Initial Priorities==
* we start with integrating the office data to improve functionality there
* we include building of the person data through the input of interested people in the network who contact our website
** this includes a page on the web with personal interests like:
*** http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/newsletter.htm
* whatever we start with has the capacity to build community services/connections like the yahoo groups with registration to personal data files

==Fundraising==
IT Needs specific to fundraising for CNVC: 
* Database with most or all of the features found in Blackbaud.
* Reporting mechanism so donors can track their money.
* Means of tracking who's giving.
* Communication w/donors via newsletter.
* Ticklers for donor contact reminders (on screen at morning boot, not via email).
* Online signup for IITs, including even room assignments.

 See also [[Talk:CNVC_IT_Committee#Donor_contact_info]].

==Other IT Priorities==
# Database combining online and CNVC office information.
##Variable levels of strong security.
##Trainer contact info.
##Donor contact info.
##Local and Regional NVC group contact info.
# Online tools integrating various CNVC and other online resources.
##The cnvc.org website.
##The NVCwiki website.
##The Yahoo Groups and other email lists.
##Blogs
###Email interface to blogs for those who prefer that medium.
###Email digest daily, by discussion volume or weekly.
###Auto-trim of "quoted" prior messages in emails.
###Archive option for email interface?
###Live "push" technologies like RSS.
##File sharing capability.
##Audio and Video streaming and file download capability; free, restricted and paid.
###Photos of IITs and other events.
###Handouts and other documents from IITs and other events.
###Maps and directions for IITs and other events.
###FTP and/or Bitorrent/peer network capability for sharing other files.
#Free IT package on CD or DVD data set, for distribution to NVC groups.
##Client applications.
###Pre-configured Linux installation for low-end computer and net access for low-income use.
###Firefox browser and Thuderbird email application for security and compatibility.
###OpenOffice for complete MS Office compatible application suite.
##Server applications.
###CivicSpace or equivalent integrated suite.
###Apache server for those wanting to set up and run their own server.
#Free computers with pre-installed IT package, for distribution to NVC groups.
##Donated computers could be pre-configured by volunteers for shipment to NVC groups.
##Using the IT package CD/DVD, local and regional volunteers could do the work.
##Locations with access to suitable donated computers could do the work for shipment to groups nearest their location (e.g. North America for shipment to S. America, Europe for Africa).

----

=Database Selection Criteria=
The following database qualities are offered for consideration by the IT Committee:
# Open source preferred (see description of [[http://en.nvcwiki.com/index.php/Open_software Open Source]]) because of:
## Low cost. Funds invested in the database reduce funds for CNVC training and scholarships.
## No extra cost for distribution to NVC individuals and groups. Most commercial software charges more for each user, computer, or site using the package. GCC individuals and groups around the world could benefit from tools used by CNVC, and content generated would more likely be compatible between GCCs and CNVC.
## Well documented open document formats ensure the ability to extract data if another system is chosen in the future, few commercial packages use open standards.
## Robust multicultural, multinational and multilingual support.
## Extremely reliable and robust with rapid bug fixes, updates and security patches.
## Additional modules (e.g. Payroll, Donors, online features) at little or no cost.
## Skills learned by IT staff and volunteers on one project would be applicable to other projects, rather than needing to learn different commercial packages.
## Easy modification of features, functions, reports and screens. Commercial packages often lack the ability to modify some aspects of features, functions, reports and screens.
## Easy creation of new features, functions, reports and screens. Commercial packages generally limit the ability to create new features and functions.
## Free online support, with fee-based telephone support often available.
## Inexpensive and volunteer IT support is sometimes available for open source applications, because many of these applications are developed by altruists and college students actively seeking projects.
# Payroll, Contact Management, and online integration capabilities.
# Maximum compatibility with CNVC needs in an integrated package.
# User friendly.
# Secure, to prevent hackers from unauthorized access or damage to the system.
# Reliable and fast long-term support.
# Simple to maintain data.
# Solid long-term prognosis for commercial developer or open source project. In addition to content, many hours of labor typically go into learning and customizing a system and all that could be lost if the developer or open source project were to be shut down. Note that even very strong corporations are sometimes bought and shut down by larger companies who view them as competition, and open source projects sometimes lose the support and interest of their contributors.
# Robust email and web interactivity (mailing lists, etc.).
# Many levels of security, ranging from top system administrator through project manager and down to anonymous user. This enables a diverse community of people to create and access content with the level of security chosen for each type of user and content.

----
=Information Technology (IT) Needs=
The following overall Needs are offered for consideration in planning an update of CNVC computer systems:
# Open source preferred (see description of [http://en.nvcwiki.com/index.php/Open_software Open Source]) because of:
## Low cost. Funds invested in the database reduce funds for CNVC training and scholarships.
## No extra cost for distribution to NVC individuals and groups. Most commercial software charges more for each user, computer, or site using the package. GCC individuals and groups around the world could benefit from tools used by CNVC, and content generated would more likely be compatible between GCCs and CNVC.
## Robust multicultural, multinational and multilingual support.
## Extremely reliable and robust with rapid bug fixes, updates and security patches.
## Additional modules (e.g. Email Lists similar to Yahoo Groups) at little or no cost.
## Skills learned by IT staff and volunteers on one project would be applicable to other projects, rather than needing to learn different commercial packages.
## Easy modification of features, functions, reports and screens. Commercial packages generally limit the ability to create new features and functions.
## Easy creation of new features, functions, reports and screens.
## Round the clock tech support. Free online support, with fee-based telephone support often available.
## Inexpensive and volunteer IT support is sometimes available for open source applications, because many of these applications are developed by altruists and college students actively seeking projects.
# Contact management tools for fundraising and other community interactions.
# Blog for easy creation and moderation of discussion groups and forums, with email publishing option including Digest function for the convenience of users who prefer that medium.
# Email lists with automatic trimming of quoted prior messages to a pre-set number of first and last lines.
# Wiki or similar for collaborative document generation and editing, with some areas having limited read and/or write access (e.g. Board, Certified Trainers, etc.).
# RSS capability.
# Online and offline mass mailing tools, with restricted access to prevent spamming our contact lists.
# Integration of online and offline content with robust security.
# Widely available free and paid technical support.
# File sharing with variable access and security levels to enable activities such as publishing IIT photos for participant sharing.
# Audio and video storage and streaming.
# Policies to invite, seek and utilize IT volunteers from the NVC community.
# Cooperation, collaboration and standardization whenever possible on technology efforts and projects within the whole NVC community.
# Online participation tools like Surveys and Polls to engage the NVC community in dialog.
# Online contact tools to enable people to share their personal information for networking.
# Online and offline tools to help in publishing event information.

----

=Products for Consideration=
==[http://www.blackbaud.com Blackbaud] commercial database package for non-profits==
===Features===
*NetCommunity: A Complete Website Management Solution
*The Information Edge: Business Intelligence for Nonprofits -

===Cost===
===Support options===
===Additional advantages===
*Proven favorite of non-profits.
*Possibly easy to install and set up.
*Over 150 programmers, 170 support analysts, and 150 trainers and consultants to ensure a smooth transition.
*With The Raisers Edge, you are not limited to using the software as it comes out-of-the-box; customization capabilities that are built in to the software.
* is specifically designed for professional fund-raising and contact management incorporates over 25 years of user suggestions from more than 13,000 non-profit organizations.

===Potential drawbacks===
*Base system does not include online features. NOT TRUE! Blackbaud's NetCommunity
*Proprietary system might be more vulnerable to hackers, and data might be less portable.
*Can not be shared with other NVC locations or affiliates without significant additional expense.
*Additional features would probably be expensive if provided by the publisher and difficult or impossible to add otherwise.

----

==[http://civicspacelabs.org/home/civicspace CivicSpace] integrated [[Open software | free Open Source software]] package for non-profits==
===Features===
Integrated package includes Drupal web software, MySQL database, CiviCRM Contact Resource Management software, blogs, file sharing, website, photo publishing, audio files, FTP and other features.
===Cost===
Complete package is downloadable at no charge. Development is supported by open source developer community (especially Drupal) and grants.
===Support options===
*Free online support
*Paid consultants
*Fee-based support
===Additional advantages===
*Can be installed and running within a few hours, although configuration and customization can be done over time to provide a wealth of additional features.
*New features can be added relatively easily due to the underlying computer code being written in Open Source.
*Many programmers are available who have the skills to modify open source software.
*Some programmers, consultants and support might be found at no cost or relatively cheaply at technical schools and in the global open source community.
*Any customization work done can be offered free to other non-profits.
*All work done on CNVC implementation can be shared at no cost with other NVC affiliates.

===Potential drawbacks===
*Concerns about the long-term availability of quality fee-based support from a specific vendor.
*While the underlying MySQL Drupal and CiviCRM code is mature, CivicSpace package not yet at 1.0 release.
*Questions & Answers:
<blockquote>
*Will there be ongoing support for the system?
Yes, all indications are that all of the underlying projects have an excellent long-term development and support path. The CivicSpace package is merely a collection of very advanced and well-supported open source products like MySQL and Drupal, with an automated interface. Even if the large CivicSpace project were to end today, the products and modules it is based on will certainly continue to be developed and supported. As CivicSpace nears 1.0 release, interest is growing rapidly in the user community which is likely to bring considerable media coverage.
----
*Who will the users call when there's a problem?
In general the open source community support model is free online support 24/7. Users with insufficient technical skills or facing urgent problems not quickly solved online can pay for telephone or on-site support from a wide variety of high quality vendors.
----
*Will bugs be fixed, how often?
Yes, in general bugs and security risks are found and addressed more quickly in open source software than in commercial equivalents. This is partly due to the fact that commercial vendors have a vested interest in concealing flaws, and partly because the open source community is comprised of thousands of users and programmers in every time zone. An example of this may be seen in the free open source Firefox web browser which most experts report is more advanced, robust and secure than the latest Microsoft Internet Explorer.
----
*Will new reports get written?
Yes, because customization of open source is generally easier than with commercial software, new features and modules are added daily and shared openly.
----
*How long will these things take?
Any critical needs CNVC may have which are not already built into CivicSpace could be added by professional programmers at our expense and then shared with the NVC and open source community. Commercial vendors must not only identify a needed feature, but evaluate in advance whether the expense of adding it will produce enough added income to pay the programmers plus profit. It is rare for a commercial vendor to allow a customer to dictate or pay for the development of new features.
----
*Is a custom software dynamic enough to continually take advantage of the latest technologies and development trends?
It may be impossible to determine in advance whether any software package can adapt to technological advances. Still, open source products often incorporate new technologies more quickly than commercial products because the latter must amortize their investments. Even if a package is unable to incorporate needed new technologies, commercial products tend to lock users in with proprietary data formats while open source products use published standards that make it easier to migrate existing work to a new open source or commercial platform.
</blockquote>

NVC Research November Meeting

2007-11-29T06:28:08Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by PaselTchid (Talk); changed back to last version by Tcaruso

'''November Meeting''' Friday, November 3, 2006 at 3 PM EST (12 Noon PST)

== Attendees ==
<ul>
<li>Susanne Jones - Working on degree in communication to help her credibility</li>
<li>Alexis Girnaut-Miller - Australian going between Australia and England.</li>
<li>Tom Caruso - Who everyone seems to know.</li>
<li>Marion Little - Masters in Dispute Resolution. Assessing NVC to teenage mothers for her thesis.</li>
</ul>

== '''What research has been done.''' ==

No research except one article and several theses. Simon Beck - NVC and Integral Theory. Efforts of Frances Delahanty. Theoretical basis that Marion is working on. She talked to Marshall to find out his early influences. Quite a few inaccuracies to what Marshall said and what actually happenned. He remembers author but not book title for instance. So she's trying to put together accurate facts and then get them approved by Marshall. She is also working on getting anything that Marshall has written so she can piece it all together. Needs were only introduced in 90's and only wants were in model in 80's.

Alexis is interested in case studies in use of NVC in organizations...Charles Jones.

== '''List of NVC Assumptions -> Hypotheses (Propositions).''' ==

<ol>
<li>Our basic nature is cooperative and compassionate.</li>
<ul>
<li>Mary Clark, In Search of Human Nature</li>
<li>J. Heath [from Marionâ€™s lecture on 11/3]</li>
<li>Field of Primatology - [http://www.teach12.com/store/professor.asp?ID=205 Barbara J. King], The College of William and Mary has done related work on bonabo chimps</li>
<li>Frances Collins, National Human Genome Research Institute - [http://www.amazon.com/Language-God-Scientist-Presents-Evidence/dp/0743286391/sr=8-1/qid=1162688445/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-5023130-2221725?ie=UTF8&s=books Language of God], 2006</li>
</ul>
<li>Our desire to get our physical and psychological needs met is the basis for our actions.</li>
<ul>
<li>Key Differentiations â€“ NVC Trainer Certification Package</li>
<li>Burton - Needs theory</li>
<li>Abraham Maslow, [http://www.amazon.com/Toward-Psychology-Being-Abraham-Maslow/dp/0471293091/sr=1-1/qid=1162689120/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-5023130-2221725?ie=UTF8&s=books Toward a Psychology of Being, 3rd Edition], 1998</li>
<li>Manfred Neef â€“ needs-based economy</li>
<li>Ghandi</li>
</ul>
<li>Our emotions stem from our needs. When our needs are being met, we feel positive emotions, when our needs are not being met, we feel negative emotions.</li>
<ul>
<li>Field of Nueroscience - Candace Pert - [http://www.amazon.com/Molecules-Emotion-Science-Mind-Body-Medicine/dp/0684846349/sr=1-2/qid=1162689644/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/102-5023130-2221725?ie=UTF8&s=books The Molecules of Emotion], 1999</li>
<li>The Budhha</li>
<li>Thich Naht Hahn - Active Buddhism â€“ Creating True Peace</li>
<li>Field of Cognitive Neuroscience [http://www.amazon.com/Emotion-Consciousness-Lisa-Feldman-Barrett/dp/159385188X/sr=1-11/qid=1162663860/ref=sr_1_11/102-5023130-2221725?ie=UTF8&s=books Emotion and Consciousness] by Lisa Feldman Barrett, Paula M. Niedenthal, and Piotr Winkielman</li>
<li>Anthony Hatzimoysis [http://www.amazon.com/Philosophy-Emotions-Royal-Institute-Supplements/dp/0521537347/sr=1-10/qid=1162663860/ref=sr_1_10/102-5023130-2221725?ie=UTF8&s=books Philosophy and the Emotions, 2003]</li>
<li>Coate & Roseti - [http://www.amazon.com/Power-Human-Needs-World-Society/dp/1555870910/sr=1-1/qid=1162688589/ref=sr_1_1/102-5023130-2221725?ie=UTF8&s=books The Power of Human Needs in World Society]</li>
<li>Eisler, Raine, Tomorrows Children: A Blueprint for Education in the 21st Century, The Chalice in the Blade: A Partnership Education.</li>
</ul>
<li>Anger is a combination of a feelings mixed with a judgment or blame of others. Underlying anger is one or a combination of emotions such as fear, disappointment, frustration, resentment. Is this an assumption about NVC or a general assumption? In other words, is this an assumption that is necessary to practice NVC? Maybe the core assumption is "A feeling vocabulary is important to express your experience more fully." There is an assumption around the need to increase your awareness of feelings and needs. </li>
<ul>
<li>Carl Jung, [http://www.amazon.com/Basic-Writings-Jung-Modern-Library/dp/067960071X/sr=1-4/qid=1162688774/ref=sr_1_4/102-5023130-2221725?ie=UTF8&s=books Basic Writings of C.G. Jung], 1993</li>
<li>Carl Rogers - [http://www.amazon.com/Way-Being-Carl-Rogers/dp/0395755301/sr=1-2/qid=1162689460/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/102-5023130-2221725?ie=UTF8&s=books A Way of Being]</li>
</ul>
<li>Attributing blameworthiness to others is likely to lead us to withhold communication or resources from others, and/or initiate verbal or physical punishment against them. Anger is the result of a thinking process which implies that the another party should not have done what they did that disappointed, frightened and hurt us. When I want something I'm not getting. I'm expecting someone to give something to me. And by demanding it I will not get what I want. "When we're angry we're assigning blame." Connection to shaming, blaming whether to others or to ourselves.</li>
<ul>
<li>Bernard Weiner, [http://www.amazon.com/Attributional-Motivation-Emotion-Springer-Psychology/dp/038796312X/sr=1-1/qid=1162689523/ref=sr_1_1/102-5023130-2221725?ie=UTF8&s=books An Attributional Theory of Motivation and Emotion]. </li>
</ul>
<li>Verbal and nonverbal negative affect is usually perceived as incompetent communication behavior. We are more likely to be seen as a competent communicator (effective + appropriate) when we express our feelings, explain how those feelings are connected to our needs, and then make clear requests of the person we want to meet our need. Therefore, it is important to increase awareness of oneâ€™s feelings and needs which can be facilitated by developing a literacy (vocabulary) about feelings and needs.</li>
<ul>
<li>Daniel Goldman â€“ emotional flooding & physiological testing which might show that, + as we engage our neocortex, the physiology begins to change?</li>
</ul>
</ol>

== '''Action Items''' ==

<ul>
<li>Suzanne will send the list out to those who were on this call. Sending out tonight or Sunday.</li>
</ul>

== '''Agenda Items For Future Meeting''' ==

<ul>
<li>More discussion of Core NVC Assumptions</li>
<li>What can we do about trainer-initiated anecdotal research.</li>
<li>Talk about retention research.</li>
</ul>

== Next Meeting ==

'''[[NVC Research December Meeting]]''' Friday, December 8, 2006, 3 PM EST (12 PM PST)

Get detailed information for calling from NVCResearchWorkgroup Listserv

Compassionate anarchism

2007-11-29T06:27:30Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by TanodArdom (Talk); changed back to last version by Nvcwikiop

Compassionate anarchy is a newly emerging revolutionary tendency, and a mode of relating that goes back to the dawn of humanity. Compassionate anarchy is a practice that can be incredibly hard to learn and keep, while at the same time, some of the most enjoyable moments of our lives have been when we have practiced it.

Compassion is what keeps anarchy from degenerating into violent chaos and individual autonomy from resulting in disrespect and disregard for others. Anarchy is what keeps our compassion from becoming a hollow shell of the real thing - itâ€™s what keeps our love for others from becoming a commodity that is sold back to us or a ploy to make us acquiescent to the dictates of authority. Compassionate anarchy is about finding and appreciating the genuine soul in human beings and keeping it free from all authority, submission, moralism, and static roles.

This approach holds that there exist real-life processes and actions that can be taken to create more compassion and anarchy in our lives in the here-and-now. â€œCompassionâ€ and â€œanarchyâ€ are not just vague feel-good poetic phrases or proscriptions/descriptions of a future society - they are interactive relationships that human beings everywhere can and do take part in.

This approach eschews lifestylism and strives for far-reaching anarchist social revolution. However, unlike many anarchist approaches to revolution, compassionate anarchy seeks to avoid dehumanization, polarization, and projecting enemy images onto others. The anarchist social revolution is seen as the immense application and proliferation of anarchist ways of relating. This approach is akin to Gustav Landauerâ€™s sentiment when he said: â€œThe State is a condition, a certain relationship between human beings, a mode of human behavior; we destroy it by contracting other relationships, by behaving differently.â€

Compassionate anarchy draws a lot of inspiration from the famous anarchist theorist Peter Kropotkin and his concept of â€œmutual aidâ€ - the notion that people supporting each other and helping one another out is a natural part of being human. To this end, direct action relationships of sharing and cooperation, in both the material and non-material realms, are greatly encouraged.

Mutual aid is in turn seen as best taking place when it is done so out of what the author Marshall Rosenberg calls â€œnatural givingâ€, which is action done not out of any sense of fear, anger, duty, obligation or hope of reward, but instead out of a genuine desire to contribute to the well-being of others. To best facilitate action done out of natural giving, compassionate anarchy draws from the understandings and practices that generally go under the label of â€œ[[Nonviolent Communication]]â€, or â€œ[[NVC]]â€ for short. [[Nonviolent Communication]] is not viewed as a rule-book or dogma to follow, but is instead used for the tools that it offers to help us more honestly and directly connect with the humanity in both ourselves and others.

Some of the defining characteristics of compassionate anarchy are not proscriptions for behavior or pictures of utopic future societies, but instead the series of questions that it encourages us to ask. Some of these questions are: â€œWhat exactly am I wanting to see done?â€, â€œWhat motivation do I want to see this done out of?â€, â€œWhat fundamental needs/values are behind this action?â€, â€œHow can I best contribute to life in a way that is enjoyable?â€ Asking deep and honest questions is far more likely to foster true understanding and connection than proclamations over what we â€œshouldâ€ be doing.

Although much can be written about compassionate anarchy, it is fundamentally a human EXPERIENCE and not another theory to be argued over. Compassion, peaceful cooperation and deep respect do happen, they are experiences that we have in our lives already - this approach seeks to encourage and foster these experiences. While a lot of important information can be conveyed through writing and lectures, compassionate anarchy can not really be personally understood unless one draws from oneâ€™s own experience.

[[Empathy]] is a key component of compassionate anarchy. Empathy is seen as a glue that helps society stay together and not degenerate into a war of all-against-all; and empathy is seen as being revolutionary tool that aids in revolutionary organizing. Beyond notions of â€œworking class solidarityâ€, â€œcommunity organizingâ€ and â€œsolidarity of the oppressedâ€ lies empathy - the practice of people deeply listening to and understanding one another in a very real and fundamental way. Without empathy, the connections between people that need to be made in order to effectively challenge the alienation and atomization inherent in capitalism and institutional authority will not happen.

Compassionate anarchy is not about â€œnonviolenceâ€ or â€œviolenceâ€, green anarchy or class struggle anarchy. It draws from these what it can, but ultimately tries to learn from what is BEHIND all of these. For example, with â€œnonviolenceâ€ compassionate anarchy asks what dynamics and processes comprise and make up â€œviolenceâ€, and what effect it has on us. With approaches supportive of â€œviolenceâ€, compassionate anarchy strives to find the most full, effective and sustainable forms of protection and safety possible. With green anarchy compassionate anarchy strives to find how to rid ourselves of our own domestication, with class struggle anarchy the question is on what is behind class unity and solidarity. Behind every belief and approach to life is a genuine desire to meet needs and live values, and with this being the case, compassionate anarchy seeks to dialogue with and learn from others rather than be trapped in debate and dehumanization of others because of differences in opinion or approach.

This was a broad and brief introduction to compassionate anarchy - it is hoped that the other texts here can result in more of a full understanding of the whole thing. And beyond that, it is hoped that this can serve as inspiration to be more aware of oneâ€™s own behaviors and motivations and to try to practice compassionate anarchy within oneâ€™s own life!

NVC research teleconferences

2007-11-28T06:57:06Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by CnaroRacco (Talk); changed back to last version by 128.173.229.189

'''Next Meeting: [[NVC Research December Meeting]]''' December 10, 2006, 3 PM EST (12 Noon PST)

'''[[NVC Research November Meeting]]''' Friday, November 3, 2006 at 3 PM EST (12 Noon PST)

'''[[NVC Research October Meeting]]''' Friday, October 20, 2006 at 3 PM EST (12 Noon PST)

'''NVC Research September Meeting''' Canceled due to lack of interest.

Materials

2007-11-28T06:56:25Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by OlodrOnouo (Talk); changed back to last version by Nvcwikiop

[[CNVC]]'s store: http://cnvc.org/matls.htm

Free written materials from CNVC (this page has chapter one of the [[Nonviolent Communication]] book, and in the right column are links to many other materials): http://cnvc.org/bookchap.htm

Puddle Dancer Press (publishes many NVC materials): http://nonviolentcommunication.com/

[[NVC Dance Floors]] offer a way to learn, practise and teach NVC using spatial layouts that represent various NVC processes (eg transforming anger, self empathy, dialogue).

The [[Learner centered differentiation exercises]] are designed to help participants discover some of the core principles of NVC for themselves.

The Emotional Competency website helps people explore the logic of passion. See: http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/

The Life Resources Shop sells a wide range of English language NVC materials from its internet shop based in the UK. It also also sells NVC Dance Floor materials in English, Dutch, French, German and Swedish. Also gives contact information for the distributor of the NVC Dance Floors in Danish, and for North America and Australia distributors: http://www.life-resources-shop.com

Attendee Notes

2007-11-28T06:55:40Z

Nvcwikiop:

Here's a place to add your notes, either directly onto this page or to make a linked to page.

Please contribute some from your notes and memory about the [[NVC USA Project]]
2006 [[Compassion In Action]] conference.

Notes on the 2006 conference
* [[CIA Session Summary]]
* [[Evaluation Synopsis]]

Click the "edit" link at the top of any page to make changes. Contact [[User:John Abbe]] with any questions (or write them here). Note that in this wiki, one creates pages by putting double brackets around some words (rather than SmushingCapitalizedWordsTogether).

If you'd like more information about editing in this wiki,
here's an [http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Help:Editing editing overview] which is the first section in an [http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Help:Editor Editor Guide].

----

Attendee Notes

2007-11-28T06:55:14Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by LiricCorol (Talk); changed back to last version by LetorAcdel

domacs
Here's a place to add your notes, either directly onto this page or to make a linked to page.

Please contribute some from your notes and memory about the [[NVC USA Project]]
2006 [[Compassion In Action]] conference.

Notes on the 2006 conference
* [[CIA Session Summary]]
* [[Evaluation Synopsis]]

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Compassionate anarchism

2007-11-28T06:53:25Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by TanodArdom (Talk); changed back to last version by 68.3.6.186

See Me Beautiful

2007-11-28T06:52:22Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by Boc4tChize (Talk); changed back to last version by Nvcwikiop

If you'd like to support the composer Red Grammer and support CNVC and get the music with chords, you might check this offering from CNVC: "Live Compassionately Songbook" at http://www.cnvc.org/matls.htm

See http://www.loveblender.com/heart/journal/april1997/beautiful.html

and http://www.redgrammer.com/beautiful.html

Another unauthorized version of the lyrics - http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/peasoup_main.asp?cmd=display&word_id=24740

Nonviolent Communication

2007-11-28T06:51:27Z

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Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a theory and practice intended to create a quality of connection among people such that they want to, and are able to, consider the needs of everyone involved in any given situation. It is also known as Compassionate Communication, because it's about learning to listen more compassionately, and to speak in ways that are likely to inspire compassion in others.

There is a large network of people sharing NVC through much of the world (see [[NVC people and organizations by area]]). In some places there are enough people supporting each other and working together that one might even call them communities.

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Yet another name for NVC is [[giraffe]] Language - we use giraffe as a symbol for the kind of communication we are teaching, and [[jackal]] (or in some areas of the world wolf or snake) as a symbol for the kind of communication that is not compassionate, clear or connected.

Also see [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_communication the Nonviolent Communication page on Wikipedia].

== Book ==

Nonviolent Communication is also the name of a book (ISBN 1-8920-0503-4) by Marshall Rosenberg explaining the theory/practice. It has been translated into many languages.

Website for the book (with many additional materials): http://nonviolentcommunication.com/

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== Ways of describing NVC ==

"NVC helps us when we are involved in communication which is difficult and potentially conflictual, to get beyond right, wrong, good, bad - to get in touch with what we are feeling and needing and express that to another person with no blame or demand. Equally it helps us hear the other person's feelings and needs behind any blame or demand they put on us. We do this by telling someone clearly and factually what triggered our present feelings, and what needs of ours are not being met right now. We might follow this with a specific, doable request. The most important thing underpinning all this is that we are seeking not to win, but to connect empathically, so that each person involved can find joy in meeting both their own and the other person's needs."

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'''(a Conversational piece)'''

"Do you sometimes feel that you've said what you thought you meant to say with a strong wish to connect with someone, but the response you get from your listener doesn't bear this out? - its as if we know and feel inside at some level what it is we really want to express, but then there seems to be a mis-match between this and the language and habitual thought structures which we rely on to communicate ourselves. In fact, instead of actually expressing what is going on inside us, often we seem to just react and respond to things outside of ourselves - we talk to judge, evaluate, to make things wrong or right, to demand others to change, we blame and seek ways of influencing the outer world in an effort to express ourselves, offload tension, or make things better.

We have all learnt to do this - and it serves us to some extent. Recently, however, I came across a new way of thinking and communicating which I've found inspiring and really helpful, as it gives me more choice about how to express myself and how to listen to others in a more heartfelt way.

It goes like this...When we notice ourselves reacting to the outside world, we can identify what objective experience we are having without making any value judgements of it. Then we notice what feeling or feelings get triggered by that. If we can connect with those feelings, then we can do the next step. It's said that feelings always arise on the basis of needs - feelings are valuable information - if they are "positive" in nature, it means that our needs are being met, if "negative", then there are needs of ours which are not being met. Having identified what needs are, or are not, being met, we can then directly express things to others in the light of what we are feeling and needing. Finally, we can form requests and ask others to do specific and do-able things to support us in meeting those needs, (but without requiring them to do that).

When you practise this, it feels a bit strange at first, but gradually it becomes more natural and it feels satisfying to be able to say what it is that is real for us at any moment in an authentic way. And then when listening, the same applies - you stop hearing the words, and look for the feelings and needs the person might be experiencing, and you can empathise with those directly, and reflect that back to them, along with a suggestion for a request".

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Request vs. Demand

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{| border=1
|
| '''Request'''
| '''Demand'''
|-
| Attention
| Attention is on the needs of others and myself
| Attention is on strategies
|-
| Intention
| To get everyones needs fulfilled
| To get the others to do what I want
|-
| Appreciation
| My appreciation for the other person does not change, if the other one says "No."
| I do not appreciate the other person as much, if the other one says "No."
|-
| Trust
| I trust, that my needs will be considered and satisfied.
| I am scared, that my needs do not count.
|-
|}

NVC USA Project

2007-11-28T06:49:36Z

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Feeling

2007-11-28T05:09:43Z

Nvcwikiop: Reverted edits by ZeldrOnrob (Talk); changed back to last version by Bhuston

== Feelings when your needs are satisfied ==

AFFECTIONATE
compassionate
friendly
loving
open hearted
sympathetic
tender
warm

CONFIDENT
empowered
open
proud
safe
secure

ENGAGED
absorbed
alert
curious
engrossed
enchanted
entranced
fascinated
interested
intrigued
involved
spellbound
stimulated

INSPIRED
amazed
awed
wonder

EXCITED
amazed
animated
ardent
aroused
astonished
dazzled
eager
energetic
enthusiastic
giddy
invigorated
lively
passionate
surprised
vibrant

EXHILARATED
blissful
ecstatic
elated
enthralled
exuberant
radiant
rapturous
thrilled

GRATEFUL
appreciative
moved
thankful
touched

HOPEFUL
expectant
encouraged
optimistic

JOYFUL
amused
delighted
glad
happy
jubilant
pleased
tickled

PEACEFUL
calm
clear headed
comfortable
centered
content
equanimous
fulfilled
mellow
quiet
relaxed
relieved
satisfied
serene
still
tranquil
trusting

REFRESHED
enlivened
rejuvenated
renewed
rested
restored
revived

== feelings when your needs are not satisfied ==

AFRAID
apprehensive
dread
foreboding
frightened
mistrustful
panicked
petrified
scared
suspicious
terrified
wary
worried

ANNOYED
aggravated
dismayed
disgruntled
displeased
exasperated
frustrated
impatient
irritated
irked

ANGRY
enraged
furious
incensed
indignant
irate
livid
outraged
resentful

AVERSION
animosity
appalled
contempt
disgusted
dislike
hate
horrified
hostile
repulsed

CONFUSED
ambivalent
baffled
bewildered
dazed
hesitant
lost
mystified
perplexed
puzzled
torn

DISCONNECTED
alienated
aloof
apathetic
bored
cold
detached
distant
distracted
indifferent
numb
removed
uninterested
withdrawn

DISQUIET
agitated
alarmed
discombobulated
disconcerted
disturbed
perturbed
rattled
restless
shocked
startled
surprised
troubled
turbulent
turmoil
uncomfortable
uneasy
unnerved
unsettled
upset

EMBARRASSED
ashamed
chagrined
flustered
guilty
mortified
self-conscious

FATIGUE
beat
burnt out
depleted
exhausted
lethargic
listless
sleepy
tired
weary
worn out

PAIN
agony
anguished
bereaved
devastated
grief
heartbroken
hurt
lonely
miserable
regretful
remorseful

SAD
depressed
dejected
despair
despondent
disappointed
discouraged
disheartened
forlorn
gloomy
heavy hearted
hopeless
melancholy
unhappy
wretched

TENSE
anxious
cranky
distressed
distraught
edgy
fidgety
frazzled
irritable
jittery
nervous
overwhelmed
restless
stressed out

VULNERABLE
fragile
guarded
helpless
insecure
leery
reserved
sensitive
shaky

YEARNING
envious
jealous
longing
nostalgic
pining
wistful

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Beside feelings, people often use [[evaluative words]].

Compassion In Action

2007-11-28T05:08:28Z

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