Power-with vs. Power-over

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  • Power-with:

Utilising 'Power-with' means we commit to the following core principle of NVC:

'The objective of Giraffe is never to get what we want. It’s the development of a quality of connection that allows everyone’s needs to get met.'

- Marshall B. Rosenberg, 'transcript of 2-day advanced intensive', [1].

The other's needs enter into the equation, in our thinking and consciousness.

We are concerned that the other party takes part completely of their own volition.


  • Power-over:

We are focused only on getting our own needs met, _without_ taking into account the needs that are alive for the other parties, and act accordingly out of that energy. Typically by using demands or coercion, apportioning blame, or suchlike other jackalese tactics.

We are _not_ concerned that the other party takes part of their own volition.